5 Signs You're Dating A Female Player

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5 Signs You’re Dating A Female Player

Posted by Stephan Labossiere in Advice for Men, Dating | 34 comments
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female player surrounded by men

You know it’s hard out here for a pimp. It’s even harder for those trying to avoid getting pimped. As much attention as men get for the games many play we forget something that’s very true. Many women are the masters of the “game” and have been running circles around men since the beginning of time.

Men don’t tend to be as intuitive as women so they can’t even see the pimp hand coming before it’s too late. So here are some signs to consider when trying to avoid falling victim to a female player:

She Has A Lot Of Male Friends That Do Things For Her.

Plenty of women have a lot of male friends simply because they feel men are easier to deal with. So that in itself isn’t necessarily a sign. The problem is when you notice these various “friends” always doing things for this woman. It’s possible she is in “pimp mode” and taking advantage of their interest in her.  You may express your concern but she will simply shoot it down and make you seem like you are being unreasonable. She isn’t interested in addressing the issue because to her there is no issue.

A Female Player is Very Flirtatious

Female players know that one key to manipulating men is flirtation. The ability to stroke a man’s ego can be an art for some women and they enjoy using this powerful tool. So her desire to constantly flirt is something you may want to keep your eye on. Some will even flirt right in front of your face and then make it seem like you’re just being crazy when you take issue with it. A woman who is truly into you isn’t likely willing to be flirting with every other guy. Yes some people enjoy flirting but be mindful when there may be more to it than that.

She Gets Very Upset When You Don’t Give Her What She Wants

A female player has no problem asking for what she wants. She may take a smooth indirect approach or a very direct one. Either way she will get the point across and you will have to decide if you are willing to give her what she wants. If you choose not to she is likely to get very upset with you. This may be done in a loud and harsh manner or she may use the silent but still strong approach. She will have you feeling that giving in to her demands is the only way you can expect to keep her around. She may not even be your girlfriend yet but she knows how to play on your desires to get her and she will use all of this to her advantage.

A Female Player is Emotionally Detached

When a woman genuinely embraces having a relationship she is willing for an emotional attachment to occur. When she decides she is going to be a female player she already perceives emotional attachment as her enemy and wants no part of it. That’s why an emotionally detached woman who is dating may be a red flag. She dates to get the benefits she is looking for but she isn’t interested in the emotional risks that come with truly trying to be with anybody right now. She also understands it is easier to maintain this position dealing with multiple men vs. dealing with just one man consistently. She is the woman capable of having sex with you and not requiring any “cuddle time” afterward. Essentially some may view her as “like a guy” when it comes to her approach to relationships and sex.

She Has You Giving A Lot More Than You’re Receiving

When a woman is a female player she is not with you for your benefit. She entertains you for her benefit and at her convenience. If she gave you more than she received then that would defeat the whole purpose of keeping you around. So her goal is to milk you for whatever she deems appropriate. Now a really smart female player may still do things for you here and there but don’t be fooled. She might buy you lunch but you will be buying her groceries.  She might get you something nice for your car but she may have you paying her car note. One way or another she is going to make sure she is getting the much better end of the deal.

I hope this helps some of the men wondering what to look for when trying to avoid the female player. Don’t be so quick to let her beauty blind you and be willing to take a deep look at who she really is as a woman. If any of these signs come up always be willing to properly address them and talk to her about it. Sometimes it may not be that she is trying to play you but you will get a clearer picture after you properly express your concerns. If you do happen to fall victim to one don’t hold on to bitterness and negativity. Just because one woman hurt you doesn’t mean you have to turn around and take it out on every other woman after her. Stuff happens and you just have to learn from it, grow, and focus on being the best man you can be.

Related Article: 10 Signs You’re Dating A Dog In Disguise

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About Stephan Labossiere
is a Certified Life & Relationship Coach, Speaker, and Author of the #1 Best Seller "God Where Is My Boaz" as well as the Award Winning book "How To Get A Woman To Have Sex With You...If You're Her Husband". Stephan is on a mission to help men and women experience happier, healthier, and more fulfilling relationships. He is a highly sought after coach and speaker who has been seen, heard and chronicled in various national and international media outlets. soulmate

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  • Joelle

    Quick Question Stephan: if you have 3 of the 5 signs then what are you? a smart woman who is dating or still a female player? LOL I am just asking.

    • http://www.StephanSpeaks.com/ Stephan Labossiere

      Only you as an individual can answer that. If you know that you aren’t a female player and trying to use/manipulate men then depending on which 3 you are maybe you just have some “issues” to address (if the guy you are with has any concern about them)

      • Joelle

        I am actually single. I don’t think i have issues, I just think i date smarter than before.
        I can have the characteristics of a player according to these signs but I know I am not LOL see what I’m saying? I’m just a single woman who enjoys the benefits of being just that :)

  • http://twitter.com/sittingwitty Sitting Witty

    This, is the absolute TRUTH.

    http://www.sittingwitty.com

  • Perk

    Wow, this is a dead on description of an ex girlfriend of mine. Wow, I am blown away! If this warning had been written a few years ago, it would have saved me a whole bunch of money , and a whole bunch of headaches and heartaches.
    Wow, I couldn’t have written this any better!

    • female

      If she was your girlfriend then how does she qualify as a player? See what I mean…? She was in a relationship with you.

  • blahblahblahthisarticleisshit

    You know it’s hard out here for a pimp….wow what an amazing thing to say, you sir are a living breathing modern day Ghandi. Honestly you make this too easy

  • Cleopatra Huff

    Thank God for deliverance!!!

  • Usewhatyougottogetwhatyouwant

    Can have my BF read this. Cause this is dead on!

  • “M”

    ” When she decides she is going to be a female player she already perceives emotional attachment as her enemy and wants no part of it. “

    So …
    men call a woman who behaves like this a “female player” — but if we develop any kind of emotional attachment, in what is supposed to be an intimate relationship, no less … and want to know where the relationship is going or if the man sees a future, then we’re “needy” and “should know all men want is sex”??

    o.O

    It’s kind of … what I thought. Men WANT us hurting. They WANT us vulnerable, so you can hurt us if you FEEL like it.

    You all don’t want egalitarian relationships — even though they are, real talk, what you actually need in a 21st-century world.

    What you want is the pimp hand.

    *smdh*. For real.
    :-(

    • http://www.StephanSpeaks.com/ Stephan Labossiere

      “M” all men do not call a woman who develops an emotional attachment needy. Some men will use that label because in reality they aren’t serious about the woman and want her to fall back some. Also consider there is a difference between developing an emotional attachment and being overbearing. In regards to “all men want is sex” that wasn’t exactly the point being made in a separate post. Yes most men that approach you are aiming for that, but the man who is genuinely interested (which there will be some) will see a you as more than just sex. Some men will look to only take advantage, some will want to truly give love. Yet this article has nothing to do with that. This was simply pointing out some of the behavior exhibited by women who are just playing and taking advantage of some men. It does happen and in fairness it should be addressed. There was already an article like this pointing out the behavior of the men, and now this one simply called out the woman. But just like I pointed out at the end f the article, a open and honest conversation should be had before any conclusions are drawn. Sometimes she really is just trying to play the guy, and other times there could be more to it.

    • Kellie Bean

      I think the problem is that many men AND women go for the player type. There is more confidence, which is attractive to both sexes, probably because of the feeling that they don’t have anything to lose because they are not emotionally invested and will just find someone new. Someone who is emotionally invested is probably going to be more subdued after being hurt, less confident, and appear more needy, which are traits not so appealing.

  • IndependentElf

    But Stephan, THESE are exactly the type of games the women that get the men play! It’s almost as if men won’t respond to being direct and honest. They LIKE these games. I’ve seen this in SO many friends.

    • http://www.StephanSpeaks.com/ Stephan Labossiere

      They get the man’s attention but how long do they truly keep it. Are they finding genuine love through this approach or just men who may be intrigued and caught up in the chase? These tactics can work on some men, but if a genuine relationship is what a woman truly desires, then this would not be recommended.

  • Poochie

    by definition i’m a female pimp but im single sooo what?

  • female

    They want to “save a ho” or they want someone to hang out and watch sports with them like the woman is their “boy” or they run from intimacy. Now if we act distant we are users? I’m confused because I have male friends, I expect a man to be a gentleman and yes pay for dinner if he asks me out but also I do things for him..They want what they can’t have and have what they don’t want and complain about it. Instead of games why not just speak openly & honestly that way we women don’t waste our time on them. Some of us are LADIES, right! This is pointing out in a GENERAL manner & most people don’t know how to READ between the lines so now us ladies are clumped in with player/gold digger…are those he same? UGH no wonder I’m on hiatus.

  • Anais

    All of these so-called red flags are the very things that attract men and often make them fall in love, they aren’t red flags.. This female player description just sounds like a smart woman who understands male psychology and is in touch with her femininity. Men like you will say you don’t like these things but it’s untrue. When a woman is the “nice” girl and wears her heart on her sleeve at the beginning of courtship, it doesn’t work in her favor and men push you over, even the so called nice guys will take advantage of her. It’s happened to me all my life until I began doing a lot of what this article says not to do.

    “She Has A Lot Of Male Friends That Do Things For Her.”

    Which increases attraction because men are drawn to women who are high on demand for other male attention. They see they have to invest in her to win her over. They ignore the women who are too easy with few male options and laser focused on him immediately.

    “A Female Player is Very Flirtatious”

    Men don’t connect with a woman who doesn’t flirt and acts all aloof and standoffish, he’ll see her as a friend and sometimes friend with benefits if he think she’s pretty. so what’s wrong being flirtatious? This is the type of comment that made me shut off my flirtatious and feminine side for years, people like you saying it’s wrong.

    “She Gets Very Upset When You Don’t Give Her What She Wants”

    Because if she acts like she doesn’t care, he learns it’s ok to ignore her needs and walks all over her

    “A Female Player is Emotionally Detached”

    Because in order to protect her heart, she doesn’t want to invest feelings until a man commits. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve made the mistake of investing feelings in a guy who wasn’t even available for a relationship yet or didn’t feel as strongly as I did.

    “She Has You Giving A Lot More Than You’re Receiving”

    Because men value what they earn so she’ll let you invest in her before she reciprocates. Being too giving to a man or giving more than he invests ALWAYS drives him away.

    Men who give advice like this are hilarious. The very things they say they don’t want in the woman are the things that attract them. lol I wouldn’t feel surprised if you’re one of those guys who says women should chase men.

  • Bianca Torjaun

    Snitching!

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