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Posted by on Feb 24, 2012 in Advice for Men, Dating, Marriage | 60 comments Tags: , , , , , ,

5 Things To Ignore When A Woman Says It

man ignoring woman

Let’s get right to the point, a lot of women say one thing but mean something different. This continued practice has left men dazed, confused, and flat-out frustrated. Some blame us for not understanding women when at times it is the women themselves that have set us up for failure. What are we to do and how can we crack this code? Well I am going to give you 5 things that you should just pretty much ignore when a woman says it. Trust me I have more than 5 to choose from, but let’s start with these.

Don’t get me anything for my (insert special occasion)

Ladies how many times will you pull this classic stunt. Guys let me make it clear to you once and for all…ALWAYS get her something. What many women are attempting to do is to test how much you care and think about them. Some may have actually felt that they wanted nothing but when nothing comes it is a small blow to their heart. I am not saying there aren’t any cases where she truly is ok with nothing but why take that chance. You can rarely if ever go wrong with doing something that says “I love you”. Side Note: It isn’t about just buying her something; it is about showing effort which will displays to her how much she means to you.

I have slept with (insert number) guys

Do you really think most women will tell you the accurate answer to this question. It may be accurate in her head because after she doesn’t count the ones that were bad, “didn’t finish”, drunk moments, or any other excuse she can give herself to remove that guy from her “body count”. Most women know how judgmental men can be so she simply will not feel comfortable revealing her numbers if they can be perceived as high. At the end of the day it really should not matter. A man should not be judging a woman on her past anyway. Yes I am all for knowing for the sake of having a better understanding of who she was and who she has become, but if you are using it as some kind of measuring stick and worthiness for companionship then I think it is unnecessary.

My friend is real cute

Yeah and so was the chihuahua in the old Taco Bell commercials but I don’t want to date its ass either.  Really, how many of us men have been told how cute the friend was only to find out it was a “misrepresentation”. A lot of women will not present their friend as unattractive unless it is so flat-out obvious, and even then she may skew her description. I don’t rely on opinion anymore, just show me a picture. I do believe that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but ladies stop acting as if you don’t realize your friend may not be received as cute. You only make the situation worse when you set the man up with high expectations only to have a letdown lol.

Oh I don’t do (insert sexual act)

Believe that if you want buddy but I know better : ). There are many men with women who they think are just prudes but in reality she is a big FREAK! You just don’t know how to bring it out of her (hopefully you are only trying to do this in marriage : ) ). There are ways to push buttons and essentially push the envelope that is in no way disrespectful or intrusive. As a man exploration of a woman sexually is essential and you must understand that she will not always say what she likes or what she is willing to do because that last thing she wants is for you to possibly judge her. Also she may start off against something but due to her evolution as a woman or just simply being exposed to an effective technique can easily make her change her mind. So when she says “I don’t do that” don’t just assume she will never do that. Side Note: Please do not interpret this as me saying it is ok to “force” your desires on her. Like I said earlier there is a proper way to do things that will not offend or land your ass in jail.

Nothing is wrong

I have a rule, once I sense something is wrong I go with that feeling and I ask 3 times before I let it go. I don’t know why women feel the need to hold back so much, scratch that I do know why. First she doesn’t know how you will receive her issue. Second she isn’t sure you can either help her or properly listen because she may just simply need to vent. Third she fears you may do or say something stupid to piss her off or hurt her. Expressing ones feelings can put a woman in a vulnerable position so there will be hesitation. Even if she refuses to talk, make sure to show her you are available for her if she needs it. She may just want you to show how much you care and how in tune you are with her.  Also show her love in other ways while she is in that mood, it will help her feel more comfortable opening up. Just don’t take a non attentive approach simply because she said “nothing is wrong”. There is a way to be attentive but not hound or annoy her to death in an attempt to get her to talk.

I hope you realize that this doesn’t mean when a woman says these things that it is never true. I simply want you to understand that in most cases you should dig a little deeper and realize that there may be more to it. Sometimes the words coming out of a woman’s mouth are just there to distract you. You have to learn when and how to look past that. Paying attention to her non-verbal communication can go a long way in really showing you the truth. If her words are true then it will line up with other things. You can continue to allow many women to confuse you, or you can choose to finally take the blindfold off and see things clearly.

Related Article: 5 Things To Ignore When A Man Says It

About Stephan Labossiere
is a Certified Life & Relationship Coach, Speaker, and Author of the #1 Best Seller "God Where Is My Boaz" as well as the Award Winning book "How To Get A Woman To Have Sex With You...If You're Her Husband". Stephan is on a mission to help men and women experience happier, healthier, and more fulfilling relationships. He is a highly sought after coach and speaker who has been seen, heard and chronicled in various national and international media outlets. soulmate

  • Joelle Paule

    Great article. I am a woman and I know we do all the things you mentioned. Hope the gentlemen read this and start applying. I also hope Stephan that you are going to give us 5 things to ignore when a man says it LOL That would be great :)

    • RelationshipExpert

      Thank you Joelle and I appreciate your honesty : ). Since you asked for 5 things to ignore when a man says it, well then I will work on that lol.

    • Karmah2012

      You can say that again Joelle!

  • http://twitter.com/recoveryourlove Tony Mann

    You’re absolutely right.  I fell into the trap of #1.  Money was tight and we both agreed not to get each other anything for our anniversary this past January.  Even so, I could tell that it bothered her a bit.  I tried to make up for it with a great Valentine’s.  Nevertheless, I won’t make the same mistake twice=)

    • RelationshipExpert

      I wish I would of released this post for you sooner so that you wouldn’t have fallen for it lol. I know of a married couple where the man made that mistake and even after a few make up attempts and years later she still wont let him live it down lol. I’m glad you know better now.

      • Jesuschristthisisshit5252

        Ok, it’s ‘would have’ , not ‘would of’, Stephan. How can you grasp the inner workings of a human mind when you can’t even grasp grammar or where to stick a good old inverted comma?

  • http://rhondamae.wordpress.com/ RG Love

    Bingo 5x! You’ve figured us out. Except when it comes to #3, I have no problem with saying my friend has a below-average face but a bangin body…or saying another friend looks like Dragon Fly Jones. You never know what you guys are interested in from one day to the next!

    • RelationshipExpert

      Than you RG and I am happy to hear you don’t set your male friends up for failure with false representation of your girlfriends lol : )

      • Jesuschristthisisshitefeeef

        Yes because there is NOTHING worse in the world then a man being disappointing. God forbid he would actually get to know a woman

  • Karmah2012

    You broke down Stephan. Maybe now some of your male readers will take your advice to heart lol. Jus sayin!

    • RelationshipExpert

      lol thanks Karmah, I hope they do. It will only benefit them in the end

  • Sum1

    #4 is true and I think it depends on a few things . Age and class. What I mean is, in her 20′s a woman many be more inclined to say that she hasn’t done this or that. In her 40′s that changes. Usually by the time a woman is 40+ she has done “that” and then some, been married, had kids etc. BUT she is classy enough to not announce such things. Good article!

    • StephanLabossiere

      I agree but I do think it also depends on if the man she is communicating with gives off a judgmental spirit. Some woman are willing to be honest but the wrong person can give them reason to quickly watch what they say and admit to….Thank you : )

      • Jesuschristthisisshit

        Hey Stephan…shut up stop writing dumb ass articles for your dumb ass audience

  • LOSER

    And ALWAYS ignore when a woman tells you she loves you..ALWAYS..

    • RelationshipExpert

      Come on now, don’t think like that. Don’t let what I assume was a bad experience turn your heart cold and negative. There will always be people that will do us wrong, but there will always also be others that will do us right.

    • Joelle Paule

      Why is that? can you explain please?

  • Brandi202

    Great read!!!!

  • Angela

    Great post. :-) I can so be number five at times. Depends on where I am in a relationship. My reason, don’t care to be a burden or drop my problems on others. A work in progress…

    • StephanLabossiere

      Thanks, and I can understand not wanting to burden anyone with your problems. The thing is, not properly addressing those issues and talking about them can turn into more and bigger issues. 

      • Angela

        I agree. Mostly, depends on where I am with the person in a relationship.

  • Pooblyshus39

    Do you have a Wife, Mother or an older Auntie that tell’s you what women think? Because you nailed it right on the head, especailly  This part: “she isn’t sure you can either help her or properly listen because she may just simply need to vent. She fears you may do or say something stupid to piss her off or hurt her. She may just want you to show how much YOU CARE!”.. You just know too much! :-)~smile~

    • StephanLabossiere

      : ) I don’t think I have been told anything different then what the average man hears from women in general. I just look deeper, pay attention, and allow GOD to show me. Well hopefully my knowing to much can translate into men and women knowing more, and therefore creating better, happier, and more fulfilling relationships. 

      • Pooblyshus39

        I know that you’re putting a great impact on people’s lives. And I call that BEA!! Never stop helping. We all need some guidance along this long road we call life.. God Bless you Mr. Labossiere.:-)~smile~

      • Jesuschristthisisshit11

        Where is this ‘deeper’ that you look? Inside your own anus?

  • http://twitter.com/TerrillCharming Terrill #nXtGt

    Good stuff. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=690091928 Sabrina Marie

    Oh my these things are so true!!! I can’t figure out which one I like the most. :)

  • Wbsugh

    Amazing article!!! I agree with all 5. As a woman I do some of these things out of fear of being vulnerable and I just want a man to say its ok. Men think I’m such a prude but because they don’t know how to approach a situation to get me to explore trying something new, I become turned off and uninterested. I’m not a prude because ” I don’t do that” I’m that way because “you don’t know what you’re doing.”

    • StephanLabossiere

      Thank you very much, and I appreciate your honesty about doing those 5 things and why. I completely agree that many times the woman is not as prudish as a man thinks, he just doesn’t know how to push the right buttons.

  • http://twitter.com/spiffykittytamr spiffykittytamr

    in all aspects and matters, there should always be honesty no matter what. both partners should be able to express them selves fully and understandably . one must be to the point of the problems at hand,or it’s not going to get resolved properly. one should always be to the point not beating around the bush as they say.

    • StephanLabossiere

      Your right and this is how it should be. Unfortunately many struggle with being open and honest. Both men and women are not as forthcoming as they should be which is why we see so many relationships with issues. Hopefully we can get more people to approach it as you laid out.

  • A Mom

     Why do people keep listing sex along side bowling? It doesn’t matter how many sexual partners someone has had? Gross!

    • StephanLabossiere

      That doesn’t mean go out and have sex with any and everybody. The statement isn’t to advocate or support being promiscuous. It is acknowledging the fact that you may come across a person who once had a promiscuous past, and rather then judge them for who they once were, evaluate them for who they are now. 

  • http://twitter.com/TerrillCharming Terrill

    Interesting.

  • http://twitter.com/MsPrettyLThings PrettyLusciousThings

    Ha! Ha! Love it. Great article

  • http://twitter.com/RayneHall Rayne Hall

    Don’t you think that the article’s title is wrong? It says these are things to *ignore* when a woman says them. But the article says to be *attentive* when she says them and to  consider what she really means. 
    As a woman, I say the article is good – but the title is offensive.

    • http://www.StephanSpeaks.com/ Stephan Labossiere

      I see your point and I apologize if it offended you or any of the readers. I use certain titles to catch a persons eye and draw them into reading the article. I didn’t mean for “Ignore” to come across in a rude manner. 

      • Jesuschristthisisshitginger

        Again with the inverted commas, Stephan? Really? Do we have to go through appropriate use of the little winking stars?

  • Jeannette

    Wow. That’s incredibly spot on. Though in case No 4 she might not admit whatever she wants to herself. In a specific example I remember it took me a while to admit it to myself and then a little longer to tell my husband… I don’t think I would’ve wanted to go anywhere near thinking about the issue until I had come to terms with myself and with the thought of telling my husband about it.

  • http://twitter.com/marshalltalk MarshallTalk

    Some great points, but I will say WOMEN Stop playing games. All the women that do these things are eventually unhappy, and will always be that way. Find a man you can be completely honest with then OPEN UP!

  • Numokeji

    Great article again and so educating. Yes Yes Yes we women do thatand I’d also love to read more. Good job n kudos to u

    • Jesuschristthisisshit

      Its so good you dont generalize. Smart girl

  • Joewoods73

    Also #4 can be both good and bad as far as bringing the freak out in a  woman. If she is not going to be your wife, then all that exploring will go to the next man to benefit from your hard work.

  • D. Elaine Fields

    Sigh . . . Stephan, stop telling all my business, please.
    Couldn’t be more true.
    D. Elaine Fields
    http://www.defieldsbooks.wix.com/loveandlies

  • http://twitter.com/confessionsLA confessionsLA

    You hit the nail on the head!!!!  I have a general rule.  I never ask men how many women they have slept with because I really don’t want to know.  And men lie about that too.  Why ask a question you don’t want to know the answer to.  Also, women need to be honest about their wants.  If you want a damn gift tell him you want a damn gift.  We know you all aren’t mind readers.  Great article!   

  • http://twitter.com/mosesjustmoses Moses

    This is too funny. I did an experiment once…
    I completely ignored Valentines Day.  ONLY after my ex said, don’t spend any money on V-Day. I smiled, since I believe in “random acts of generosity” I had no problem with that. Why splurge on that day, when I consistently buy nice things anyway? Right? WRONG! So Feb 14 came around. I went through my day like it was a normal day. It is, isn’t it?  Not even a word. BIG MISTAKE. When I repeated what she said, all I heard was “NOT EVEN A ROSE!”
    Well, you guys know, no play for me that night; nor the next; or the next…… That V-Day was a combination….

    (5) Oh, we ain’d doint That, That, Nor That.  (4) And no, nothing is wrong Mr. (1) I said don’t get me anything for V-day. As a matter of fact, maybe my (3) cute friend won’t mind hearing that, you know, the one you and your friends had a zebra butt, (2) she’s been on a dry spell, well, you know….

    But I agree on all points. I guess I’m protected from No. 3 because I REFUSE to be hooked up. Let me do my own hunting. 

    • Jesuschristthisisshit

      Yes because all women are just gazelles who are waiting to get ripped apart with your giant manstick. Hunting? Seriously? As far as random acts of generosity, you probably think warning a woman before you turkey slap her is generous. Hunting. What a joke. Elmer Fudd is more of a stud than you. Nice name by the way. Moses. It’s fitting. You’d have more luck parting a sea than a woman’s loins.

  • ladyA

    Lol you never lied it be like that though we just don’t want to be thought of as a certain way. when we aren’t like when we say “I Dont do this” it could be a case where we haven’t done it before but have wondered or have done it but don’t want to be looked as loose or as a hopper

  • Jesuschristthisisshit

    Where to start with this bullshit. I think this part was my favourite: There are ways to push buttons and essentially push the envelope that is in no way disrespectful or intrusive. Said the rapist. I am so in love with how you are telling men that it is TOTALLY OK for them to refuse to accept a sexual boundary that the woman has laid down. A no is a NO, you neanderthal. I cannot even believe you would suggest that this is acceptable.

    I am also in love with how you then go on to say ‘Even if she refuses to talk, make sure to show her you are available for her if she needs it. She may just want you to show how much you care and how in tune you are with her.’ Oh yeah, because a man who repeatedly tries a sexual act that the woman has said NO to is TOTALLY IN TUNE WITH HER FEELINGS. Where do you come up with this shit? The Bilal Skaff School of Romance?

    Oh and this pearler: ‘ As a man exploration of a woman sexually is essential’ WRONG, you troglodite. The exploration of a woman’s sexuality has NOTHING to do with a man! It is up to the woman to dictate her own sexual journey. What planet did you come from??? I also must commend you on your use of the word FORCE with inverted commas. Very creative. I mean, normally the use of inverted commas in written text is to amplify the irony in the subject matter, maybe I am just a hairy feminist whose vibrator has burned out due to overuse, but I really fail to see the irony in ‘forcing’ a sexual act on a woman. Here’s the true and correct use of the inverted comma: Stephan is a ‘woman whisperer’, he truly is the ‘expert’ to consult when you’re having relationship difficulties.

    See what I did there? Irony.

    • http://www.StephanSpeaks.com/ Stephan Labossiere

      If you want to have a mature discussion about this then I’m all for it. If you simply want to throw insults and negativity then that is your choice, but I won’t engage in such behavior. For the record I wasn’t trying to imply or condone sexual assault of any kind. You were the first person that I know of that took it that way, but that wasn’t my intention at all. You are correct that I have made some grammatical errors and with that I must improve. I would hope in the future we could speak to each other in a calm and respectful manner. Many times proper communication can clear some things up. Either way be blessed and be safe.

      • Jesuschristthisisshit

        I am actually not really that keen in wasting my maturity on a man who is of such a pathetic calibre, that he is arrogant and vile enough to believe, and also state in a public forum where other inbreds can read it, that when a woman clearly says NO, that she actually means YES. Way to go for perpetuating the rape culture that abounds in today’s society. I’ll bet you sure were proud of the Stubenville boys.

        NO MEANS NO. Did your mother not teach you that basic rule?

        But hang on, let’s play devil’s advocate for a moment: Let’s say your partner, oops WIFE, seeing as I know you only like bumping during marriage, wanted to ram a dildo into your ass. And you said NO. And she kept pushing the issue. How would you feel? Actually, seeing as you also have an issue with strong women taking the lead, you probably would yell ‘damn you woman and your independence, I am the king in this kingdom and don’t you forget it! Where is my insipid doormat that I used to love, where did this dildo wielding warrior come from?! Oh I have failed at being a man and a king!’

  • crossedfingers

    If I, as a married woman to you Stephan wanted to rim your asshole and fuck you with a strap-on because that was my secret desire? Would you be open to it at first? Or would it come with time?

  • ana e

    I laughed at the title, but pretty impressed at the article.