Alicia Keys said it best, “A real man knows a real woman when he seeees her.” But what she didn’t know is that a real man was going to go write a book and tell these young girls to think like a man, causing them to get confused and make twerking videos on Youtube.
Basically, we got it all mixed up. We can’t continue going on rants about how lost our young ladies are without showing them the way. So I took it upon myself to compile a small list of the preponderance(you like that word huh?) that has our young ladies baffled. No, I’m not excusing men, but Rome wasn’t built-in a day, so work with me. For young girls who don’t know and for grown women who want to help out those following in their footsteps, these are the things you should NEVER get confused.
1. Sex for Love: He drinks a Red Bull, stretches, and even keeps his Timbs on; then acts like everything but a gentleman in the bedroom ’til your toes catch a cramp. But make no mistake, his heart is in his chest, not his underwear.
2. Attention for Loyalty: “But he’s coming home to me every night”=the cry of a woman who forgot her worth a long time ago. A man will have sex with your sister, drive home with the gas money you gave him, and say “Baby I had a long day, I just wanna cuddle” when you try to give him goodnight sex. You think that attention he’s giving you means you’re not sharing it with someone else? Yeah..ok.
3. Good looks for Beauty: You may go through life gracing every mirror you walk past, but if you treat everyone like they’re beneath you, your family will be the only ones at your funeral. The ones who do show up.
4. Real N**ga for a Real Man: Some girls want a guy to “put them in their place” like a parent does a child. A real man wants a woman who knows her place is by his side.
5. Compliments for Respect: He went and ‘liked’ all your bathroom sink mirror pics and recited a couple Drake lines so you think it’s real huh? The more you blush, the more he’s going to tutor his homeboys on how to get you to have sex after he tells you he’s “just not ready for a relationship”.
6. Nice personality for Good character: He can make you laugh. Check. He’s smooth with words. Check. He’s witty and can hold an intelligent conversation? Check. But on that weekend you’re on your period, will he turn down that one thirsty chick he used to have sex with that never learned to let go?
7. Lust for Chemistry: You know that tingly feeling you get when you first see him. Everything just seems right about his smile, his walk, and the way he looks at you? It’s called hormones, not love at first sight.
8. Cockiness for High Self Esteem: A bad b**ch has nothing on a woman who knows she’s a queen. Period.
So here comes that hug your Mom would give you after she gave you a whooping and told you you’d thank her for it later. Ladies, stop getting things mixed up. No, it’s not your fault you have to decode anything, but it’s better to know now than to be left feeling lonely years later running into the arms of some man who just isn’t for you. Knowing the game keeps you from having to play it, and if you don’t play it, you’ll never lose.
Get your copy of the bestselling book God Where Is My Boaz: a woman’s guide to understanding what is hindering her from receiving the love and relationship she deserves - on Kindle, Paperback, or Audio Book format HERE. You can also get the PDF version HERE
Corporate American and aspiring author but for now, I just make people say "Wow, I never thought about it like that" at www.derrickjaxn.com.