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Posted by on Feb 6, 2012 in Advice for Men, Advice for Women, Dating | 25 comments Tags: , ,

Online Dating: The Good & The Bad

woman doing online dating handed flowers

There used to be a time where if you wanted a date, you had to go out and find one. Finding a suitable mate meant putting yourself out there and actually walking out of your house. Of course there are exceptions such as being hooked up by friends and family. It’s usually with someone who their punk asses wouldn’t date themselves : ). Other than that, it was on you. Well now we live in an age where convenience is king. Everything is being made easier and more accessible which includes finding a potential partner. So with this new wave of convenience comes online dating. Many women as well as men are facing the decision of taking this new approach of online dating when searching for companionship. Women though seem to have much more concerns and are a bit more hesitant with this process. I have been asked many times what my thoughts are on it, and with that said, here is my view on the good and bad of online dating.

The Good of Online Dating  

Well as already stated it is extremely convenient. You eliminate all the extra time and money that you may have to spend otherwise in attempting to put yourself in a position to be noticed and found by a potential mate. I’m not saying there aren’t free non-online ways to go about this, but for most it does cut some extra cost. Not to mention that these sites do a lot of screening for you. It filters out the people you don’t really want to have to entertain and if one slips through the cracks it is a much easier rejection process. The idea that these people could be crazy; well these are the same people you may meet at your job, school, church, club, etc. A lot of people go online in today’s world; it isn’t just a place for nut jobs and weirdo’s.

The Bad of Online Dating

If you are a man, there isn’t much bad I can point to from online dating. Aside from the occasional woman who may give some false representation of her actual looks and qualities, there isn’t much else to complain about. If you are a woman, online dating can easily turn into a nightmare if you come in with the wrong expectation. Listen clearly; the men on these sites are no different from the men you meet anywhere else. With that said, the majority may only want to get that ass. Seriously, just because it is a respected dating site does not mean there aren’t men that are simply there to find action. Some may be there genuinely, but if after a date or two he realizes you aren’t the one, well then getting that ass becomes his consolation prize. So understand that no matter how much screening and filtering the site does for you, you as a woman still needs to have your own process of determining how serious this guy is and if you both are on the same page with the relationship. Other than that, women also have watch out for the false representation, but I don’t think that issue happens as much as it used to…I think.

Overall I think online dating is a great option. It really helps make the process easier but you still must take personal responsibility on evaluating your potential partner. You can find many success stories and these couples can attest to how well online dating worked for them. There are many good sites to choose from so do your research and go with what works for you. I don’t think you should lock yourself in your house and put all your hope on just this one option. Yet, I definitely believe it should be included in your list of options when trying to find a partner. Don’t limit yourself when it comes to finding love because you never know how it will come and with who it will be with.

About Stephan Labossiere
is a Certified Life & Relationship Coach, Speaker, and Author of the #1 Best Seller "God Where Is My Boaz" as well as the Award Winning book "How To Get A Woman To Have Sex With You...If You're Her Husband". Stephan is on a mission to help men and women experience happier, healthier, and more fulfilling relationships. He is a highly sought after coach and speaker who has been seen, heard and chronicled in various national and international media outlets. soulmate

25 Comments

    • thank you

  1. I don’t think online dating is from me, I’ve heard too many horror stories.

  2. I don’t think online dating is from me, I’ve heard too many horror stories.

    • I can understand that, but there are also many success stories

  3. very good article Stephan. takes alot of fear out of online dating!

    • thanks Karmah : ). glad you enjoyed it, and glad it has helped remove some of the fears.

  4. Online dating is what you make it….. I used to feel like I can’t get a man in reality so I have to resort to the Internet? Now I go into things with an open mind and don’t settle until I get what I want!!!!!

    • Exactly Mochadlyte : ) an open mind can open the doors to so much more.

  5. Is there a site out there that’s better than others?

    • Yupp!!! Have you heard of freakin-out?? Its pretty kool and best me and my overseas friend can video chat almost whole night :) :P

  6. Online dating scares me. I have had terrible ‘luck’ with them. But I’ve heard great stories that ended in marriage. Eharmony I hear is one of the better ones.

    • I met my soulmate on match, I guess i was lucky as he was the first – and only internet date I had! 3 years later happily married…  Now we DID email for 4 months before we met so I felt like I new him, but I have never bee happier (I am in my 40′s)   Good luck :-)

  7. See you tweet post on twitter all the time and actually decided to read one… I’m glad I did. You article was very articulate, professional, and well put together. Very interesting.. Glad I know about your site now as I will be visiting more often!

  8. Very informative article, gave me something to think about. Although I still have mixed feelings about online dating, not sure if it's how I want to find my Mr. Right, but I'll never say never.

  9. I have been a widow now for two years and now ready to date. Now I have been on a couple that were horrible and your word "only wanted the ass". I thought about online dating and still not sure. But your article do give me something to think about.

  10. Although online dating brings a level of excitement to those who are engaging with one another, I think it takes away from the whole experience of traditional dating. I guess it's just a sign of the times we are living in. Neither option is a bad one.

  11. I’ve tried online dating a lot as I’m not really a bar person. I met my 2nd wife on Match. Unfortunately it did not work out, so I’m trying again. It’s very, very frustrating that a lot of women just don’t represent themselves accurately on their profile. More than 6 times I’ve met a woman for a first date, only to find out she is 40 lbs heavier than her photo. Even after I asked if her photo was recent. Others like to play the back & forth email game, which I just don’t have time for. I understand the hesitancy to give a phone number out in order to get acquainted, but gheez, just dial *67 in front of my number the first time you call so my caller ID does not register. There are definitely online female players also. I understand that men can misrepresent themselves in their profile also, but my experience has shown that women do it much more.

  12. Personally I've been disappointed with online dating. 90% of the women I've met in person look nothing like their profile photo's. Profile stated they were thin/slender & they exercise 5X a week. But upon meeting them they are 40-50 lbs heavier & don't resemble their photo's. Profile states they have 2 kids who don't live at home but then they admit they have 5 kids who live with them. all under the age of 12!
    I'm sure men are guilty of misrepresentation also, but I find it discouraging that women think they have to post a 5 year old photo of them in order to obtain interest from a potential suitor.
    It's all about expectations. If a person represents themselves honestly on their profile, then the expectation is met. If not, then you end up with a waste of time.
    If you want to be successful with online dating, post an "HONEST" profile of yourself.

  13. be carefull online dating is the playground of scammers – the photo's is not true …. the whole profile is a lie and they normally love you instantly … writing the most wonderful loverletter..lol – come on girls man don't write letters like that and don't believe any story about kids and money that is just a trap to get you to the point to give money to them…. especially watch out for guy's who immediately wants you email address and they write I with small letters. Secondly married man is like dirty laundry all over that sites – please don't believe anybody unless you did go out with him a few times

  14. I did the online dating thing and found it very disappointing. For the most part the men were to preoccupied with my looks, I am a 44yr old single mom, I am very active and work out 3-4x’s a week I veggie juice daily and try to maintain my overall appearance. I found that 90% of the men I met lied abt appearance, weight and height and everything else, so I cancelled my subscription.

  15. I actually met someone online 10 months ago, we talked on the phone for over 2 months before meeting in person at a restaurant halfway between where he lives & I live…so far so good, he's exactly who he said he was, we're taking it slow so we can really get to know each other & best part no sex :)

  16. That's a good story & mindset that women should aspire to especially if he hasn't made a commitment to you. Amen sister!

  17. Thank you Devon Hamright :) and at that he's 10 yrs younger than me, does that make me a cougar? Lol

  18. I had a very positive experience with online dating. I met someone online 9 months ago and things are going very well. We talked on the phone for 3 weeks prior to our first meeting. We have been together ever since and we are now talking about getting engaged. The process does work, but as stated in the article, you need to develop a process to determine who is serious and who is not.
    I will say even if I did not find my Mr. Right, the process of creating an online profile and going through the dating/elimination process was a rewarding experience that helped me define the type of person I want to pursue a long-term relationship with.

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