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Posted by on May 3, 2012 in Advice for Women, Dating, Marriage | 24 comments Tags: , , , , , ,

Stop Nagging Woman!

nagging-relationship advice-relationship coachEvery man just stand up now and applaud because I am sure you are going to agree with this article. So many men have had to endure the constant nagging of a woman. Some women just don’t know when to stop. They go on and on and on as if their mouths are incapable of becoming tired (except for when you ask for that special sexual act). It’s as if they took Nagging 101 and some woman managed to brainwash them that this is a necessary evil capable of getting them what they want.

At what point will we accept that nagging does not work. Yes it may get you results temporarily but it continues to cause greater damage to the relationship. All that b**tching and moaning…(allow me to rephrase that and take a less harsh tone).   Complaining and being negative will just create more aggravation and division within the relationship. A lot of times the response and reaction that you get is simply a man’s attempt to shut you the hell up. Some don’t bother even trying because they figure you will just find something else to nag about later. Husbands no longer want to rush home because they don’t want to deal with their wives mouths (even though he will still catch hell for not coming home in a timely manner). Men learn tuning out techniques just to avoid the negativity coming out her mouth. Why do you think many men just hear “womp womp womp” when the woman talks. He doesn’t bother trying to pay attention, he just tries to listen for keywords and hopes you don’t ask any questions about the discussion when you are done. We have to understand and accept that nagging is counterproductive.

So I know what you are saying ladies, “if he wouldn’t act so stupid, or he did what I asked then I wouldn’t need to start nagging him” and I completely understand your position. I understand it is tough to resist the temptation of talking his ear off because you feel he is not properly cooperating with you. It’s just that there is a much more effective way to communicate to him. You are a woman and you have been given certain feminine abilities that can easily sway a man into doing what you ask of him. Packaging your message in a positive, loving, and caring matter will make the world of difference in making him receptive to it. Like the saying goes, “you can catch more bees with honey”, so stop throwing mud and expecting something positive to come from that. When anybody feels attacked, talked down to, or disrespected, they will not be as receptive. As stated earlier, even if they give you what you want, you are actually causing long-term damage that will lead to other issues. I know some will say well I tried being nice but he still doesn’t get it. My answer to that is; never let a person cause you to take the negative route. Remain on the high road and if you are in relationship and being positive does not work, then maybe you are just with the wrong guy.

As I always say, we men do need to do better. If we say we are going to do something, then we need to do it. We must be men of or words, and give our women less reason to even consider nagging us. With that said, you ladies are not excused from taking this behavior. Before you start-up with all that noise, ask yourself this question “would I be receptive to this approach if it was me?” Any of you that say yes are full of crap! Nobody likes this negative approach; therefore everyone needs to learn to stop using it. The more you let love lead you, the more love you will find. Move your relationship in a better direction, take a positive approach and stop nagging!

Related Article: You Can’t Change Her, You Have To Embrace Her

 

About Stephan Labossiere
is a Certified Life & Relationship Coach, Speaker, and Author of the #1 Best Seller "God Where Is My Boaz" as well as the Award Winning book "How To Get A Woman To Have Sex With You...If You're Her Husband". Stephan is on a mission to help men and women experience happier, healthier, and more fulfilling relationships. He is a highly sought after coach and speaker who has been seen, heard and chronicled in various national and international media outlets. soulmate

24 Comments

  1. I totally agree, I do my best not to nag about anything, to me it is wasted breath I could better use a different way.  Keep up the great information. 

    • Thank you Cat : ) glad you agree.

  2. This is as great ad. I have nagged in the past and I have had some nagging men. I learned from them how horrible it feels to be nagged so I don’t dare fix my mouth to do it. I rather be sweet than sour. Lol

    • Thank you very much. I’m glad you learned that lesson. Hopefully more women start to realize the same thing.

  3. I don’t feel like a nag, but I do point out things that bother me. Another form of nagging huh??

    • As long as you express yourself properly then it isn’t nagging. Remember it isn’t what you say, but how you say it. 

    • thank you : )

  4. I agree to this because it a waste of time. I use to nag to my husband all the time than later I realize he got tired of it and I choose to stop doing it because things will come in time when God expect it. But far as it goes my husband and I have been improving the marriage very well so we’re bless to have happily marriage. Great advice!

  5. I agree, but sometimes you don’t even consider yourself nagging but the guy does. I have said things in a soft, calm voice, and it still was taken as nagging. 

    • True, some guys will claim you are nagging just to shut you up and hope you leave them alone.

  6. This is very true.  A healthy relationship requires respect.  If someone has to nag – there’s a problem.

  7. Nagging is a relationship dynamic that is co-created. It’s a cop out to put the responsibilty soley on the woman. Both men and woman can learn to face in and deal with things constructively.

    • I agree with you Richard. I tend to write articles focusing on one gender at a time, but I do have an article written to the men discussing this issue. You can take a look at “You can’t change her, You have to embrace her” to see how I presented it to the men. 

  8. All your articles of weak!! They come from the mindframe of a man who is stuck in the 90′s of being a player…you reek of that sad for a 40 something year old man. You should encourage men to have more morals and build families not give courage to 50 year old men to continue the destruction they are doing. You should look at it from the point of view of a woman sometimes half of them are doing better than the men but when you can’t counter that with a success Black man then you shift the focus to petty things you speak about in your articles, oral sex, this article and others. There is a reason your comments come from the few desperate  14 women who soak up everything you say like gospel. Steve Harvey you are not, and I was very critical of him but you make him more likeable.  Today’s man is not the man of the past where, chances are he has 3 or 4 kids out of wed lock, no higher education, a jail record and participates in some form of drug use. You should find depth in your articles to raise the issues men need to improve on instead of bashing Black women all the time.

    • I apologize if you feel I do not encourage men to do better. I have written articles such as “I am my own man sydrome” “you can’t change her, you have to embrace her” “3 things single men need to do today” and others. Maybe you have not read those or maybe you feel those don’t encourage men to do better. I write articles on various topics and to answer various questions. Each article has its own purpose and collectively it’s all about helping both Men and Women see where they can improve and to help create a clearer picture of the situations we find ourselves in. With that said, each article will not cover every angle. I tend to only speak to one gender at a time with the exceptions of articles like “Give what you expect to receive”. So if you only read certain articles you may get the impression (as you have) that I am bias towards one gender. Some men think I am full of s**t because of what I say to them. Some women think I am a woman basher. What is consistent with both of those groups is that they have only read certain articles and therefore there perception of me is in my opinion off base. You also mention I bash Black women. Can you point out to me where I single out Black women in my articles? I write these articles for everyone to read and I do not think I have ever singled out any specific race (if I am mistaken I am open to correction). At the end of the day, there is without doubt many things men need to improve. I have discussed some of these things and plan to address many more. I can’t cover everything as quickly as people would like me to, but the time will inevitably come. There is also without a doubt many things women can improve upon and of course I will be discussing those as well. What is petty to you may be important to the next, and trust me every article has stemmed from real issues, real complaints, and real factors in dating, relationships, and marriage. Some will be gentle, some will have more humor, so may come off a little rough (i’m working on that) but I do that because that is who I am and I want to try to be genuine in my approach. If you would like a specific topic discussed feel free to submit one to me. In the meantime I encourage you to check out some of the articles I mentioned above. If you feel they still fall short of encouraging Men to do better then by all means get back to me so I can take another look on how to improve on that.

  9. I agree! I always tell my nagging girlfriends that men are not receptive to constant nagging. When done consistently, men tend to check out, either mentally or physically, and then my girlfriends are back on the market looking for a new man to nag. Instead, I encourage them to engage in the practice of selective nagging…only touching on those things that are absolutely and positively bothersome. And even then, the nagging should be disguised as a reasonable discussion between two level-headed adults. If used effectively, the man would only be subjected to 1 or 2 nagging sessions per quarter. Please note that I am completely against nagging a man for doing typical
    “man things,” such as watching sports, playing video games, or having a
    drink with his friends…my nagging girlfriends don’t understand this. Also note that I have referred this post to several of my single girlfriends…my single girlfriends who are educated, successful and independent. And who have repeated issues with the men they seriously date…primarily due to their constant nagging! Anyway, sorry for the long comment. Love your blog!

  10. Absolutely agree, it is a waste of time and energy, it truly can break a relationship. Good article Stephan:)

  11. I so agree, I have mastered the technique of having a heart-to-heart and vent session with my mate without causing heartache or headache.  I start with a term of endearment and start the topic with my most pleasant and seductive voice.  He say all the time… “I love the way you speak to me…”  Even when we disagree I do not look for the negative to hurt him or tear him down I get to my point without using old negative examples and just speak about the present topic.  “Babe, you know I hate when you…”  “Babe, I appreciate that (insert his side here) however, next time can you consider my point of view because if the roles was reversed we know it would not be a good end result”  followed up with a kiss on his forehead(if he’s sitting down), chin or chest if he’s standing cause he’s taller. Than I move on to somethig else…maybe some “head” to relieve the tension… IJS…

    • *Applause* That is just beautiful. We need to get you to conduct a seminar on this : ). If more women took this approach they would see so much benefit. You are doing a great job!

  12. i love the intention of this article, and how it caused me to give myself a heart check. that being said, i feel that this article proves your previous point on “it’s not what you say but how you say it.” when i read “stop all the b*tching and moaning,” i was like: this chauvenist [expletive deleted], and quickly reminded myself of the other amazing non-misogynistic posts. sorry, had to get that off my chest lol. 

    but, i will say it feels like you went a little harder on the women with this one, not gonna lie. i find most of your posts to be very fair and balanced, except for this one. personally, i handle it a lot better when my boyfriend tells me, “i don’t think you’re being fair” instead of “you’re b*tching right now so i’m not listening.” it takes sensitivity to get it (the whole respect/love dynamic). and while a relationship shouldn’t be a tit for tat game, it shouldn’t be the woman tip toeing on egg shells all the time. 

    that being said, thank you for the awesome posts and keep it up!  

    • Lmao excellent point and you are right. I tend to write how I speak to those who know me. Hearing me say it doesn’t come off as negative as reading it. I have to do better and I might just go back and make an edit. Thank you for pointing that out and remembering my other posts lol…I do sometimes go a little hard but I did it to the men as well in a separate article about complaining and trying to change your woman. Again I agree with you on applying sensitivity and respect. Both sides have to be mindful of how they talk to one another. We should all express ourselves freely to our partners. We just have to find more effective ways of doing it.

  13. Tell it to someone I know when she talks to her fiance and she does it to us.She talks a lot.

  14. Unless he’s a player..then there was never a relationship there to begin with.

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