Comments on: I’ll Be Your Boyfriend…Now Let’s Have Sex!

By: Joseph Mary Ssali

Joseph Mary Ssali — Thu, 26 Jun 2014 15:21:14 +0000

Well said. But the problem with many of our gals, there are pulled down by cultural and religious norms. She keeps the bad guy because a few of her firends and relatives have known him and culturally respect him. the gal thinks that sleeping with another good guy who may not want to be her "boyfriend" but is doing more for her than the "boyfriend", they will think she is sluting.

By: Devon Hamwright

Devon Hamwright — Thu, 26 Jun 2014 03:36:38 +0000

Hearing this sooner in life could have spared me some time can't agree more with @LG Kathy

By: Jak Samy Badi

Jak Samy Badi — Sun, 15 Jun 2014 17:14:38 +0000

Just the truth.

By: LG Kathy

LG Kathy — Mon, 20 Jan 2014 18:13:00 +0000

Every young woman should be told all this the day she turns 16, by someone in her life that she respects- father, older brother, uncle. We are failing our young women by not telling them this truth. Thanks, Stephan for being honest.

By: lala

lala — Mon, 05 Aug 2013 06:14:00 +0000

I must say that it’s really upsetting to know that my sexuality and whether or not I “give it up” has that much power over whether or not a man is serious about a relationship. I’m honestly to the point where I will point out up front that I’m ready to enter a relationship and see if he’s on that same path. If not, then bye. Whether or not I “give it up” should have no baring on his ethics. He should live by his own standards and not be a dog constantly waiting for his “bone”. I have seen people go into relationships the “right way” and the “wrong way” and both have equal amounts of failure and success. We put so much stock on every little action our partner does that it blinds us from actually getting close to a person. I can’t stand the fact that I can get so worried and caught up about every single freakin’ stage of the relationship that I can’t even enjoy the process and I can’t let things happen organically. That I have to worry that he’ll think I’m a “slut” or “unworthy” because I slept with him much sooner than he deemed worthy. I shouldn’t have that much power over him and he certainly doesn’t have that much power over me. It takes a mature man to work on himself to prepare for marriage (which is hardly ever discussed) so that he can welcome a woman into his life as she must do the same to welcome him into hers. It takes a mature man to see people as human beings and to see if they have the tools that show they have learned from their mistakes. It takes a mature man to see if a woman is trying to validate herself through sex and therefore doesn’t engage in sex with her because he follows his own moral code. It takes a mature man to not judge a woman for what she once was but to vet her for who she is now. It takes a mature man to not expect anything from her that he doesn’t expect and practice himself. And to those who would believe I am “attacking” men, I’m not. Switch the sex and the same is said of a mature woman.

By: Tamm

Tamm — Sat, 09 Feb 2013 02:33:00 +0000

Boy did I just learn this the hard way. I’m in my late 30s and had only slept with 2 men on my life. My former boyfriend many years ago who passed away & then my now ex-husband. He moved really fast, I told him I don’t sleep with men that I am not in a relationship with, boom. played. Things are so different now, maybe due to easy pickings with on-line dating. i don’t know. Just can’t trust anyone at all anymore, period.

By: Stephan Labossiere

Stephan Labossiere — Thu, 10 Jan 2013 19:02:00 +0000

In reply to Caroline. Lol I can understand why you may see it as a contradiction but allow me to clarify why it is not. Yes in this article I am saying that just holding the title should not be enough to give the man benefits. He should respect you and be the man you need him to be in that relationship. I am not saying a woman should go sleep with men who show respect but aren't there man but I am saying if you insist on having sex then let it be with a man who at the least shows that respect. I would much rather the woman wait as I stated in this article. In the other article you reference I am explaining that if you want a relationship giving the man benefits while he has not commited to you is essentially shooting yourself in the foot. If you are genuinely OK with that arrangement than that is the choice you are entitled to make. The reality is many women in those situations want more and are providing the goods in hopes of keeping him lose and eventually getting what they really want; a committed relationship. My overall position is that it is always best to wait. I feel if you want a relationship then you wait till he get a real relationship that comes with the title and the respect you deserve. So with that said, there is no contradiction : ) lol