Comments on: Money Over Love – Real Life, Real Stories

By: Quesha

Quesha — Sun, 23 Feb 2014 06:53:00 +0000

Until recently I had the same problem. My mother so crassly dubbed me ” A Feeder” I feed egos, minds and wallets. I can laugh at it now but at the time the truth stung something awful. It seemed everywhere I turned some boy was coming to me with a sob story and his hand out. I thought “helping” was caring but I realized that some men really don’t want to do better for themselves and they’d gladly take money from a woman with an education and her own everything and play house with a chick from the projects. Why? Because neither one of them have their standards set very high(finger pointed at self) and the boy is afraid to step up to a level that would accommodate a better life style than hustling to get by. I wish I could say that I’m not jaded but that would be a lie. I’ve got The Great Wall of China up and I’m definitely not interested in anything but getting money. That’s the reality.

By: Briel Easley

Briel Easley — Sun, 19 Jan 2014 17:16:41 +0000

Wow. Very interesting. I think fisrt if she wants to be loved unconditionally she should drop the guy She "knows" & any other guy she is dealing with. Move away & start working on ones self. Get away from the bay area, find her another hustle like maybe sign up for school & get her a nine to five. Try something different to help here look & evaluate those things She may have not been taking the time to work out for herself. She said the guy she's been with the longest doesn't show her love, he doesn't physical abuse her but there's the emotional abuse, and he makes feel insecure. That relationship is dysfunctional & unhealthy. A person can't expect easy selling when trying to figure out why there situations keep resembling the same if they don't work out those problems they have with self. In my in my opinion I think she can do a lot better away from the bay area, get herself some therapy, counsel, & begin to love self, do a legal hustle, then show herself available and She may attract Mr. Right.

By: Andi

Andi — Sun, 17 Mar 2013 08:38:00 +0000

In reply to Id0ntcyn.

I also spent 4 years helping a man that did nothing for me. He would say “I love u” all the time but his actions said otherwise. I’m in so much debt now & he told me he didn’t owe me anything. I try to stay positive & focus on moving forward, but it’s hard to not be bitter…he really broke my spirit. I thought that by giving him money/credit cards would show how much I loved him but I believe he saw that as weakness…which he took full advantage of. I’m a much stronger woman now and I will never put up with being mistreated by a man.

By: Nttell

Nttell — Thu, 20 Dec 2012 19:22:00 +0000

Nope. Been there….Don’t want this in my life. NEXT!

By: Stephan Labossiere

Stephan Labossiere — Tue, 27 Nov 2012 20:45:00 +0000

In reply to Id0ntcyn.

He always comes back because you are of benefit to him. If you are indeed his ATM then why would he want to leave you. Especially when he doesn’t do much if anything at all for you. I don’t want to sound harsh but I want you to understand that this is not a man that loves you. He is using you but you have to accept that you have been allowing it to continue. It’s time to address the real issues that keep you from walking away from this unhealthy relationship. Feel free to email me advice@stephanspeaks.com

By: Id0ntcyn

Id0ntcyn — Tue, 27 Nov 2012 12:38:00 +0000

That is my life story. But i feel my man views me as an atm. He never bought me anything and i buy him everything. I tried to leave him but he always comes back. He said he loves me but doesnt show it to me. I been with him for 4years. It hurts .

By: Yolanda

Yolanda — Wed, 14 Nov 2012 06:33:00 +0000

This is very serious, and something that I have seldom if ever heard articulated in terms of men who actively pursue women to monetarily provide for them and their families (wives, girlfriends, and/or children), even if he has a child or children with the providing woman who he cares less about. Though the situation here doesn’t sound too threatening, it should be noted that these types of men are potentially dangerous, and no one should knowingly remain in that type of situation. It is not farfetched to take on the provider role for the children of your spouse or significant other, but to do so knowing that your relationship is hinging around this more so than love and other intelligible reasons, especially if he’s still involved with the mother of his children that you’re helping to care for, is self-defeating. There’s nothing wrong with being single and mingling until you find or are found by your true Mr. Right.