stephan speaks relationship expert logo

Kevin Hart on Not Being a Protector


**warning, this video does have profanity**

This video was just too funny to me. I think Kevin Hart is a great comedian, but I am sure he exaggerated a bit on his unwillingness to step in to defend his woman. He does make an interesting point when he says he just isn’t that type of guy. There are many men out there who probably feel the same way, but in our society where your expected to “man up” I’m not sure all of those guys would be willing to admit it.

I personally believe a man is supposed to be the provider and protector of his wife and family. I’m not saying I advocate violence, but I damn sure don’t expect a man to sit by quietly while some man disrespects his woman. Yes, there are times where you should allow your woman to handle it. Every situation is different and you should not be so quick to take things to another level. I also feel that there are ways to handle things without it getting out of hand, and becoming a juvenile display of who has bigger “nuts”. So as a man you need to be smart and tactful about it, but I do not think it is ok to always sit back and do nothing. I do not believe a woman wants to be with a man who never steps up. She may not even let you do much, but just seeing that your willing to do something is enough for her most of the time. I mean if you want to do what Kevin Hart says in the video, which is hide behind the vending machine. The least you could do is scream out “Hey, leave her alone”…actually just stay behind the vending machine and do nothing because she may be more mad at that weak attempt to help her.

So am I getting this wrong? Am I just caught it in my personal perception of what a man should be? I want to hear from the women and men on what they think about this. I have heard many women that have said they can handle themselves. That they prefer for the man to leave it up to them so that the situation won’t get any worse. Don’t get me wrong, I do believe this is true at times, but would you really be ok and comfortable with a man who ALWAYS leaves it up to you to handle these issues? I truly do not feel that a woman would really be ok with this but I would love to hear if you feel otherwise. Also do you feel what Kevin Hart said is true, “women put way to much pressure on men” in regards to this specific issue. Let’s see what everybody has to say about this.

Side Note: personally I have faith in GOD that I can handle any situation without it leading to violence and additional drama, but as a man I feel I still must take action when needed under GOD’s guidance

Share This Post:



Get The Best Piece Of Relationship Advice I’ve Ever Received For Free!

Enter your info below and join my VIP list.

Related Posts

46 thoughts on “Kevin Hart on Not Being a Protector”

  1. Delo2123

    A man is supposed to protect his women piriod. Like u said every situation is different but part of being a man is protecting your wife and children. Thats the main reason why woman are not supposed to leave the care of their fathers until they’re married.

    1. Anonymous

      I agree with you completely Delo2123

  2. Ebony M Jones

    My first question is, Are you married or in a committed relationship?

    Too answer:
    As women who are dating we do put WAY 2 MUCH pressure on men to be, well, MEN. I see it often in peoples relationships around me and it breaks my heart to kno the true potential of that relationshi cant be reached because of a womans insecurities about what a man should be.

    I also feel men are not manly or chivalrous AT ALL IN THIS DAY AND AGE!!!! Society is all about wats hip right now and whats ”COOL” instead of whats right and trying to be the best you, you can be.
    We as women wanna feel secure and protected, regardless of wat a few may may feel, thats what God built us for. Women for submisson(in some sort) and Men are protecters. We’ve lost that dynamic and its time to be repaired.

    1. RelationshipExpert

      I am currently single Ebony. I’m not sure if i agree there is too much pressure, but I do feel that the way in which that pressure is implemented is what is causing great damage to relationships. 

      Now to say “men are not manly or chivalrous AT ALL IN THIS DAY AND AGE!!!!” is a bit of a stretch in my opinion lol. There are many men that are manly but I do agree that way too many fall short. I agree with the rest of your statement. We have lost that dynamic, and repairing that would do a great deal to move relationships in a better direction.

      1. Sekksfreeky69

        Protect a Woman at all times?

      2. Sekksfreeky69

        I think “protection” should b (re)defined in this case; or even better, b specific on what it means in a certain situation. Women claim to have made strides over the years and have become “independent”. They want to be treated “equal as men” and refuse the classification as the “weaker sex”. So why is it that when they get in trouble they expect the man to “man up”? Whatever that means, since we are on an “equal plain”, I think a woman needs to “woman up” and not expect anyone, man or woman, to “protect” her.
        If its in a relationship, let’s say MARRIED, it’s a man’s obligation to put on that cape and be a Super Man and take care of his family. As a Man. But how many WOMEN these days would accept a “womanly role” in a relationship and just be…a WOMAN about it and take care of her matrimonial abode, as a WIFE? Not many. In that case, I think it’s fair to expect a woman, being “equal to a man” to NOT expect a man to b HER protector. Because doing so deprives her of any leverage on EQUALITY. “Woman up”, ladies, and take care of your own. Leaving it up to a man is like eating your cake and having it, too!

        1. RelationshipExpert

          I understand where you’re coming from Sekks. Can’t scream equality an independence but still want men to step in. Rather than accept that and say we men don’t need to step in, I would rather encourage those women to understand that though we have equal value we both have roles we need to play. In my opinion women need to step up by being the woman a man truly needs. As well as men doing the same for women. I do feel you though, at the end of the day we all need to do better.

  3. Jariahsmom

    I like for the man in my life to step up in the appropriate situation. Even if it is just STANDING BY MY SIDE (not behind the vending machine) while I’m taking care of business.

    1. RelationshipExpert

      lol I think most women would agree with that

  4. Shynesobright

    I dont want to ever see my guy in a fight, but i tust that if he needed to he wouldnt hesitate to step in and defend our family.

  5. OMG so this is the reason me and my ex boyfriend broke up. He was a great guy! He taught me so much and I appreciate him for that BUT he would not take up for me in any aspect. When his friends had a issue with us hanging out a lot he let them blame me. When the real case was he didn’t want to be with them. So many guys would try and talk to me in front of him, he would just stand back until I handled the situation. When his EX disrespected our relationship in front of everyone he said nothing. It was so frustrating. Like defend ME. Confronting someone doesn’t always escalate to a altercation. Us women go through life fighting every day for our respect in all areas of life. Sometimes we just get so tired of fighting. I should find comfort in my mate to cover me and protect me. If not you, then who?…

    1. StephanLabossiere

      “Confronting someone doesn’t always escalate to a altercation.” This is so true and I wish more men would understand that. I think many women feel the exact same way as you, and it is a shame that your EX couldn’t understand that and make the necessary adjustments. 

  6. ashtia3

    I agree that a man is suppose to be a protector and provider of his family. I can handle myself in certain situations but I would expect my husband to be a protector and know when to step in. How would I be able to respect him as the head of the househould if he can’t protect me.

  7. I actually saw Kevin do this skit live and I was with a date.  We both said oh hell no, at the same time.  You’re right, a man needs to know when to step in, and when to let you handle it, but I sure don’t want to feel like the man in our relationship.

  8. W.B.

    If all women were shown an example of man that was a true leader, provider, & protector they wouldn’t be screaming all this ” I can handle it on my own” stuff!!

    1. StephanLabossiere

      Yes and no. I agree it would make a difference but some women have there walls up so high  that even when that kind of men comes into their lives they don’t know how to properly handle it.

      1. Pooblyshus39

         But woman are not made with walls. They are put there by ppl who hurt them or betray them. W.B. has the perfect example of men..Lets change that, SOME men. Alot of men in his society show the impression that they cannot handle the role of (as said before) Leader,Provider and protector. so women today have adjusted to this and have learned to “take matters into our own hands”. It has become our way of life. Just A Thought :-)~Smile~

        1. StephanLabossiere

          Nobody placed those walls there except for the person who attempts to use them to protect themselves. Other people gave you reason to create those walls, but it is you the individual that determines if you will have them or not. Women can set the standard, men do not dictate such things. So it wasn’t about men showing they can’t handle the role. It was more about men realizing that they can still get a woman to do for them and give them what they want even without accepting those certain responsibilities. If women truly stood against that correctly, you will see how quickly more men start to take back that responsibility.

      2. Dejuanp

        I agree with protecting your woman. my natural born reaction is to protect and provide for my wife and kids. I was born in 79 where you fought with your fists coming up. these younger cats wannt to pull guns on you just because you are protecting your wife. I have friends who lost their life standing up for their woman and the other was either scared or embarrassed by a man stepping in to protect his wife. these young cats will be ignorant even if your lady says I’m taken. now they want to do all that F your man or I don’t give a damn about your man while the other man is standing right there so now you have pride taking over and if you don’t stand up to die over some words your lady will think you’re weak. I will most definitely do all I can with my last breath for my family so I guess I would lose my wife to this ignorant generation

        1. I feel you Dejuanp. It is getting crazy out there but here is my suggestion. Don’t feed into the negativity. Protecting to me is simply making sure your woman and family is safe. Like you stated our pride can get in the way and we feel the need to go toe to toe verbally with that man who is being disrespectful. It isn’t worth it. Just get your girl and move away. You can attempt to calmly speak to the man and if he continues to pop off, again just walk away. If a woman thinks that isn’t enough and wants you to literally fight then we have to question what kind of women she really is.

  9. Brandy_f2001

    This is a great topic. I truly believe that a man is the protector in a relationship or ad least act like it. I need to feel like lm being protected in a relationship. I don’t think that is asking for to much.

  10. Stephstfrd

    I have to agree with you. I also believe the man should be the protector. Not saying he should act like a nutcase but in certain situations, he should definitely stand up for his. And a woman should do the same.

  11. Felicia English

    As a woman with a protective father and 4 over protective brothers I absolutely think you’re right. Depending on the circumstance a man should step in and protect what’s his. Woman to woman fighting? Yea okay a man can step back. He’d look like weak. But man to woman he needs to step up even if I didn’t let him do much. Just knowing that he’d be willing to go to such great lengths for me would be enough.

  12. If women are putting themselves in altercations where someone can be harmed , no I don’ see any reason to get myself hurt or killed. As we all know sometimes, women tend to not walk away or just let things go for argument sake. I for one am not getting myself F@#ked  up because someone can’t control there mouth, depends on the arguement and situation..

    1. StephanLabossiere

      You make an interesting point.

  13. LVSY17


  14. Zumbawithmstoni

    If a man wants to wear the pants in this family and be the king of this castle then he will definately have to show and prove. Yes I can take care of myself but if a man sits by and allows some one to disrespect me then what exactly is his purpose?

  15. Lachellebarnett

    Me personally, im a independent woman and always have been. Its the way im made up, to get things done, period. With that being said, it wasnt until I met a strong man that I realized that I kind of liked not HAVING to take care of everything. Taking care of everything is responsiblity is WORK. I think, particularily with black women, being a single parent forces u into that role of not needing (or wanting to need) anyone. In addition dealing with men who cant handle much responsibility also pushes u n that direction. Which is a direct result of men not having fathers n being raised by women, but I wont go there. Our experiences teach us that this is how life is n what we can expect from people, so we man up. But n out hearts, sometimes unconciously, we want a man that will step up n step n when need be.

    1. This comment would of been perfect on my “Independent Woman Syndrome” post. I definitely agree with what you are saying.

  16. B.H.

    I believe in men being able to protect his woman and himself. As a woman I would feel awkward if my man couldn’t fight, not saying that he always has to agressive but I want to feel secure with my man at all times, whether it be mentally, emotionally and yes physically.

  17. T Shinise

    I totally agree that we, well I, put a lot of pressure on men. But why be with a man if he can’t protect you? Who wants a punk? As a man, how could you even allow another man to disrespect you or your woman. Even if you lose, at least you stood up and fought back. I need a MAN, not a bitch.

  18. Obviously it depends on the situation. Most of the time I feel like an empowered woman, but there are times when men can make me feel intimidated and disrespected. I usually say “let it go”, but if it was something serious like he grabbed me I would like to have a man who would at least stand up for me and tell him off. As “feminist” and for “woman power” as I may be I still feel safer when I have my man around me, it’s just the way it is…

  19. Your Brother

    Men should be any and everything his woman needs him to be and vice versa. Age has nothing to do with being a responsible and understanding lover. Learn to read your significant other with no words needed. Often times men blame women and vice versa for relationship failure but if both played equal roles in keeping a float there would be no excuses because there would be results. Bottom line as a young husband and father it is my moral duty, my obligation, and my privilege to PROTECT and if need be DIE for my family. No matter the circumstances. We as a people have undermind the importance of the little things like teaching our kids manners first, responsibility, and self-defense. Just because other men don’t step to the plate when its his turn to swing does not give US a free pass to be a follower. Life is not twitter, lead proudly. Thats what being a real man is all about. Peace

  20. Canuckpbt

    If you scared get a gun homie or stay single…

  21. StephanieNicoleNYC

    I can handle myself but I would like to know that I have a man that could protect me if it ever got too crazy.

  22. Chwade82

    I disagree I know too many good dudes right now in jail or dead all because they wanted to protect a woman. From what exactly? Another man approaching your territory? It’s 2013, women can fight for themselves. pride is a sign of a foolish man. I’ll be damned if I’m injured jailed or dead for the sake of p****. ask yourself would she do the same for you? But that’s just me I guess.

    1. I feel you Chwade82 but protect doesn’t mean you have to fight or even get into it verbally with the guy. I think stepping in and getting your woman out of harms way is enough. All the extra stuff isn’t really needed some dudes just let their pride get in the way. I would hope that the woman you are with would at the least pull you away if she saw something was about to go down. She should care for your safety as well.

  23. RicoLovesHisWife

    I have to say I agree also

  24. tia robinson

    I agree with you. Different situations call for different actions. I get along well with people and have no problem handling myself but it’s good to know that I have a man that will protect me if need be. I am also a woman that is respectful who knows when to keep my mouth closed. But, if a man was just being ignorant towards me, especially unprovoked, its great to have a man that will handle it for me. And I will definitely ride with my man….

  25. Jacci Calloway

    I feel that I can handle myself, but I am from a family of men that have the thought at times of "why should you".. It speaks volumes to me when a man steps in on some situations, not all and basically say I got this, you don't have to deal with this, although he knows that I can..

  26. Lex

    I’ve always said that I could never be with a man who couldn’t protect me. For me, it is a huge turn off when a man is unable to defend me or even himself. I wouldn’t give a man with Kevin Hart’s attitude a second look.

  27. I can handle myself & I would do all I could so it doesn't escalate. I don't want to put myself in situations (with my mouth) that will cause my man to have to be physical behalf BUT I need a man that I know that if it came to that that he can & is willing to defend me.

  28. I have a question, what if a female friend of your man disrespect you? For instance, the friend is calling her out of her name and threatening the woman. Should the man be expected to defend his woman? Would it be wrong if he continued his friendship with the woman?

  29. Would love to live in a world where a man protects his woman or any other woman from that matter, but more importantly protects his wife and family from what is sometimes destructive attitudes and disrespect
    From his own family

  30. Christina McKay

    Honestly, if I'm being hit or slapped around, then I DO expect my man to step in and defend me to the best of his ability since I am not physically able to defend myself anymore due to medical issues. But if it's a verbal thing, I just don't know. In most cases, I just need him to comfort me and help me control myself because I can and have been known to snap on people who push me beyond the limits of my own self control. Anyone who's ever been abused can probably relate to the feeling of being up against a wall or "trapped" even in a verbal situation. For instance, my ex-husband got angry with me one day and started cussing me over a question I asked him. My boyfriend was with me and he squeezed my hand gently just as I about to light into my ex and read him the riot act. When I looked at Wayne, he was biting his lower lip and softly saying "Don't do it! Just don't do it!" while shaking his head. He knew I was about to snap because this was one of the men who had abused me in the past, but because of our daughter, I had to tolerate him. I took a deep breath and ignored my ex-husband. Wayne waited until he had calmed down and then calmly told JL he did not need to disrespect me like that over a simple question. I had a valid reason for asking the question and all he needed to do was say either yes or no. There was no need for the harsh language and verbal abuse and if that is the way JL treated the mother of his child, Wayne would have to second guess the way he treated our daughter. My ex got the point and quickly apologized to me. I developed a huge level of ultimate respect for Wayne and even though I love him to death, a major crush on the protector side of him. Needless to say when he proposed, I didn't even hesitate to say "Yes".

  31. I don't expect my boyfriend to get physical at the drop of a hat, but if I'm in a bad situation I want him to step in. Most of the time all it takes is for him to tactfully intervene so that the jerk knows it's a bad idea to continu. But I also know that if anyone tried to actually hurt me, my man would drop him lol

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Get my Best Advice

Get The Best Piece Of Relationship Advice I’ve Ever Received For Free!

Enter your email below to join the VIP list.

Manifest the Man Starter Kit

Popular Posts