Guest Post by CarlosĀ Harleaux:Ā Thereās no denying that women are more independent these days and able to call their own shots. Gone are the days of meek and mild. Women are speaking up and speaking out on what they really want, think and feel.Ā The ladies are dominating in the boardroom, the music charts (remember āIndependent Womenā and āNo Scrubsā)ā¦and in relationships. When it comes to dating and relationships, it seems like the old saying āless is moreā is thrown out of the window. Donāt get me wrong, a strong, independent woman is admirable and even sexy, but telling a man what to do, when to do it and how to do it will only lead to a dead-end street. Ladies, men want to hear what you want and need, but HOW you say it is the key.
I once had a woman tell me in the very early stages of getting to know each other (no official dates) that she knew we were going to be together and I just needed to accept it. Ha! Iāve always believed in the āI can show you better than I can tell youā mindset and we never ended up being together. Not because I didnāt like her. She was attractive physically, goal driven, and intelligentā¦.but a total turn off mentally. Only 1 of 3 things will happen in a situation like this:
- He will verbally tell you no right then and thereā¦possibly in a way you wonāt like.
- He will go along with what you want, but you will have to live with the fact that you made him do it.
- He will not waste time arguing with you and do what he wants to doā¦.which is not in line with what you want him to do.
āOoh, that Coach bag would go great with my new dress.ā āI need a vacation, when are you taking me on a trip?ā āMy ring has to be 3 carats or elseā.
How about we rewind some of these statements and remix them a little bit? Weāll go with the ring example first. Telling a man how much you want in material things (especially related to marriage) will only set yourself up for disappointment. Again, the man will either tell you no right then and there, go along or do what he wants. Letās just say for kicks that he goes along with it? Ladies, do you really want that on your conscious that you made your man do something? If you can sleep at night, then go for it. But just know that itās always better to have someone do something without you coercing them to do it. How about just expressing what you like in conversation? Or better yet pointing it out if youāre looking at rings together?Ā Just a thought.Ā Incorporation and not isolation is key.Ā In the vacation example, why not present the idea that you both need a break (which you probably do) and it will be something great to do together? Even present some sexy attire youāll be wearing on the trip and some ideas of places you want to go. Once he sees youāre serious about a romantic getaway that benefits the BOTH of you, plus something that will benefit him, youāll be much more likely to get what you want!
Ladies, if you are not making these types of statements, I applaud you. Please spread the word and share your secrets with the other women you know, lol. Ā But if you are and you donāt want just a āgo alongā man, then the demands may have to be saved for the boardroom only. Ā Make the man think it was his idea and you will get more of the things you want out of him. Less is more and too much will get a ānoā from a man every time. Itās amazing to me how many women (and people for that matter) donāt understand that, but believe it because itās true!! Ā Itās not so much what you say, but how you say itā¦so choose your words carefully.
8 thoughts on “How To Get A “NO” From A Man”
Nice post… Less is more!!!Ā
Great article!!!
An amazingly-well written, well-stated article of truth!!!
So you’re encouraging women to manipulate men? Ā I can’t go along with this.
Not at all. Just basically giving the reasons why some women are not getting what they want out of a relationship. I don’t believe anyone should be manipulative, men or women. But I am saying that sometimes we don’t get what we deserve/want/need all because our approach and motives are wrong.Ā
It’s all in how you say it. It doesn’t even matter what it is
Nice article. Well said.
interesting article. a little confused,as both people in the relationship need to be understanding to each other as there; feelings,thoughts, and to what is at hand in the relationship. as each new situation and matter needs it’s own reasoning between both partners involved. no one should be given orders, but talking and asking of each other,as to whats best , and to what the real needs are,wants are a different matter all together. both partners should be open and discussing the matter at hand, not ordering as this is how it’s going to be. once in a relationship, there is no independents, both should be dependent on each other,as both are to be as one, not as of two.