female player surrounded by men

5 Signs You’re Dating A Female Player

You know it’s hard out here for a pimp. It’s even harder for those trying to avoid getting pimped. As much attention as men get for the games many play we forget something that’s very true. Many women are the masters of the “game” and have been running circles around men since the beginning of time.

Men don’t tend to be as intuitive as women so they can’t even see the pimp hand coming before it’s too late. So here are some signs to consider when trying to avoid falling victim to a female player:

She Has A Lot Of Male Friends That Do Things For Her.

Plenty of women have a lot of male friends simply because they feel men are easier to deal with. So that in itself isn’t necessarily a sign. The problem is when you notice these various “friends” always doing things for this woman. It’s possible she is in “pimp mode” and taking advantage of their interest in her.  You may express your concern but she will simply shoot it down and make you seem like you are being unreasonable. She isn’t interested in addressing the issue because to her there is no issue.

A Female Player is Very Flirtatious

Female players know that one key to manipulating men is flirtation. The ability to stroke a man’s ego can be an art for some women and they enjoy using this powerful tool. So her desire to constantly flirt is something you may want to keep your eye on. Some will even flirt right in front of your face and then make it seem like you’re just being crazy when you take issue with it. A woman who is truly into you isn’t likely willing to be flirting with every other guy. Yes some people enjoy flirting but be mindful when there may be more to it than that.

She Gets Very Upset When You Don’t Give Her What She Wants

A female player has no problem asking for what she wants. She may take a smooth indirect approach or a very direct one. Either way she will get the point across and you will have to decide if you are willing to give her what she wants. If you choose not to she is likely to get very upset with you. This may be done in a loud and harsh manner or she may use the silent but still strong approach. She will have you feeling that giving in to her demands is the only way you can expect to keep her around. She may not even be your girlfriend yet but she knows how to play on your desires to get her and she will use all of this to her advantage.

A Female Player is Emotionally Detached

When a woman genuinely embraces having a relationship she is willing for an emotional attachment to occur. When she decides she is going to be a female player she already perceives emotional attachment as her enemy and wants no part of it. That’s why an emotionally detached woman who is dating may be a red flag. She dates to get the benefits she is looking for but she isn’t interested in the emotional risks that come with truly trying to be with anybody right now. She also understands it is easier to maintain this position dealing with multiple men vs. dealing with just one man consistently. She is the woman capable of having sex with you and not requiring any “cuddle time” afterward. Essentially some may view her as “like a guy” when it comes to her approach to relationships and sex.

She Has You Giving A Lot More Than You’re Receiving

When a woman is a female player she is not with you for your benefit. She entertains you for her benefit and at her convenience. If she gave you more than she received then that would defeat the whole purpose of keeping you around. So her goal is to milk you for whatever she deems appropriate. Now a really smart female player may still do things for you here and there but don’t be fooled. She might buy you lunch but you will be buying her groceries.  She might get you something nice for your car but she may have you paying her car note. One way or another she is going to make sure she is getting the much better end of the deal.

I hope this helps some of the men wondering what to look for when trying to avoid the female player. Don’t be so quick to let her beauty blind you and be willing to take a deep look at who she really is as a woman. If any of these signs come up always be willing to properly address them and talk to her about it. Sometimes it may not be that she is trying to play you but you will get a clearer picture after you properly express your concerns. If you do happen to fall victim to one don’t hold on to bitterness and negativity. Just because one woman hurt you doesn’t mean you have to turn around and take it out on every other woman after her. Stuff happens and you just have to learn from it, grow, and focus on being the best man you can be.

Related Article: 10 Signs You’re Dating A Dog In Disguise

  • Joelle

    Quick Question Stephan: if you have 3 of the 5 signs then what are you? a smart woman who is dating or still a female player? LOL I am just asking.

    • Only you as an individual can answer that. If you know that you aren’t a female player and trying to use/manipulate men then depending on which 3 you are maybe you just have some “issues” to address (if the guy you are with has any concern about them)

      • Joelle

        I am actually single. I don’t think i have issues, I just think i date smarter than before.
        I can have the characteristics of a player according to these signs but I know I am not LOL see what I’m saying? I’m just a single woman who enjoys the benefits of being just that 🙂

        • LR

          Sounds like men just hate being used and manipulated by women because they want to have the upper hand and not look embarrassing in front of their peers, relatives, and family members. If a man gets taken advantage of by a woman, he looks less than a man.

        • Onder Hassan

          If all you experience are failed dates and relationships. Then the real issue is yourself. It’s very easy to blame others on your problems. But I would consider therapy. Preferably someone who specialises in “Childhood Trauma.”

  • This, is the absolute TRUTH.


  • Perk

    Wow, this is a dead on description of an ex girlfriend of mine. Wow, I am blown away! If this warning had been written a few years ago, it would have saved me a whole bunch of money , and a whole bunch of headaches and heartaches.
    Wow, I couldn’t have written this any better!

    • female

      If she was your girlfriend then how does she qualify as a player? See what I mean…? She was in a relationship with you.

      • Trish

        To him she may have been his girlfriend, but she had another agenda.

  • blahblahblahthisarticleisshit

    You know it’s hard out here for a pimp….wow what an amazing thing to say, you sir are a living breathing modern day Ghandi. Honestly you make this too easy

  • Cleopatra Huff

    Thank God for deliverance!!!

  • Usewhatyougottogetwhatyouwant

    Can have my BF read this. Cause this is dead on!

  • “M”

    ” When she decides she is going to be a female player she already perceives emotional attachment as her enemy and wants no part of it. “

    So …
    men call a woman who behaves like this a “female player” — but if we develop any kind of emotional attachment, in what is supposed to be an intimate relationship, no less … and want to know where the relationship is going or if the man sees a future, then we’re “needy” and “should know all men want is sex”??


    It’s kind of … what I thought. Men WANT us hurting. They WANT us vulnerable, so you can hurt us if you FEEL like it.

    You all don’t want egalitarian relationships — even though they are, real talk, what you actually need in a 21st-century world.

    What you want is the pimp hand.

    *smdh*. For real.


    • “M” all men do not call a woman who develops an emotional attachment needy. Some men will use that label because in reality they aren’t serious about the woman and want her to fall back some. Also consider there is a difference between developing an emotional attachment and being overbearing. In regards to “all men want is sex” that wasn’t exactly the point being made in a separate post. Yes most men that approach you are aiming for that, but the man who is genuinely interested (which there will be some) will see a you as more than just sex. Some men will look to only take advantage, some will want to truly give love. Yet this article has nothing to do with that. This was simply pointing out some of the behavior exhibited by women who are just playing and taking advantage of some men. It does happen and in fairness it should be addressed. There was already an article like this pointing out the behavior of the men, and now this one simply called out the woman. But just like I pointed out at the end f the article, a open and honest conversation should be had before any conclusions are drawn. Sometimes she really is just trying to play the guy, and other times there could be more to it.

      • LR

        Women always want sex and they don’t want any emotional attachment to the man. They want to take advantage of him and destroy his manhood.

    • Kellie Bean

      I think the problem is that many men AND women go for the player type. There is more confidence, which is attractive to both sexes, probably because of the feeling that they don’t have anything to lose because they are not emotionally invested and will just find someone new. Someone who is emotionally invested is probably going to be more subdued after being hurt, less confident, and appear more needy, which are traits not so appealing.

  • IndependentElf

    But Stephan, THESE are exactly the type of games the women that get the men play! It’s almost as if men won’t respond to being direct and honest. They LIKE these games. I’ve seen this in SO many friends.

    • They get the man’s attention but how long do they truly keep it. Are they finding genuine love through this approach or just men who may be intrigued and caught up in the chase? These tactics can work on some men, but if a genuine relationship is what a woman truly desires, then this would not be recommended.

      • hopeless romantic male

        I agree with you stephan. I was trying to be in a serious relationship with a woman that fit these exact traits and in the end……I left her because I uncovered her game. She claimed to have feelings for me and would stop but it was too late.

      • Onder Hassan

        Spot on. People who play games in dating end up losing. You might get what you want in the short-term. But in the long-term, you eventually end up alone and unhappy. There’s really no space for love in a relationship if the ego exists.

  • Poochie

    by definition i’m a female pimp but im single sooo what?

    • LR

      The writer of this article is a sexist son of a bitch. We women have the right to dominate and conquer men.

      • Ike

        you bitches aint dominating shit.

      • JL

        Yes you do! Conquer me baby!

      • BF

        You also have the right to learn to read. The author didn’t say anything about not being able to dominate; he was pointing out a fact. Try conquering a book, you stupid ass.

      • Jack

        Feminist garbage. You always want what you can’t have. Once men realize this, and stop giving women what they want so easily … Then you can be free as a man.

  • female

    They want to “save a ho” or they want someone to hang out and watch sports with them like the woman is their “boy” or they run from intimacy. Now if we act distant we are users? I’m confused because I have male friends, I expect a man to be a gentleman and yes pay for dinner if he asks me out but also I do things for him..They want what they can’t have and have what they don’t want and complain about it. Instead of games why not just speak openly & honestly that way we women don’t waste our time on them. Some of us are LADIES, right! This is pointing out in a GENERAL manner & most people don’t know how to READ between the lines so now us ladies are clumped in with player/gold digger…are those he same? UGH no wonder I’m on hiatus.

    • travthereallyreal666


    • Me Yuh

      I agree with you! I don’t feel bad for any “players” who hurt innocent people. I, myself, only hurt other “players”. It feels good knowing I got to them. 😀

  • Anais

    All of these so-called red flags are the very things that attract men and often make them fall in love, they aren’t red flags.. This female player description just sounds like a smart woman who understands male psychology and is in touch with her femininity. Men like you will say you don’t like these things but it’s untrue. When a woman is the “nice” girl and wears her heart on her sleeve at the beginning of courtship, it doesn’t work in her favor and men push you over, even the so called nice guys will take advantage of her. It’s happened to me all my life until I began doing a lot of what this article says not to do.

    “She Has A Lot Of Male Friends That Do Things For Her.”

    Which increases attraction because men are drawn to women who are high on demand for other male attention. They see they have to invest in her to win her over. They ignore the women who are too easy with few male options and laser focused on him immediately.

    “A Female Player is Very Flirtatious”

    Men don’t connect with a woman who doesn’t flirt and acts all aloof and standoffish, he’ll see her as a friend and sometimes friend with benefits if he think she’s pretty. so what’s wrong being flirtatious? This is the type of comment that made me shut off my flirtatious and feminine side for years, people like you saying it’s wrong.

    “She Gets Very Upset When You Don’t Give Her What She Wants”

    Because if she acts like she doesn’t care, he learns it’s ok to ignore her needs and walks all over her

    “A Female Player is Emotionally Detached”

    Because in order to protect her heart, she doesn’t want to invest feelings until a man commits. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve made the mistake of investing feelings in a guy who wasn’t even available for a relationship yet or didn’t feel as strongly as I did.

    “She Has You Giving A Lot More Than You’re Receiving”

    Because men value what they earn so she’ll let you invest in her before she reciprocates. Being too giving to a man or giving more than he invests ALWAYS drives him away.

    Men who give advice like this are hilarious. The very things they say they don’t want in the woman are the things that attract them. lol I wouldn’t feel surprised if you’re one of those guys who says women should chase men.

    • LR

      Women don’t connect with men and women act aloof and standoffish also women like men who are easy with fewer female options.

      • Jack

        No, actually you don’t. You don’t want a guy you can control. And any man who gives a woman too much control over himself is not a man. And it isn’t attractive to a good woman anyway.

    • Me Yuh

      I was with you until:

      “A Female Player is Emotionally Detached”

      Because in order to protect her heart, she doesn’t want to invest feelings until a man commits. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve made the mistake of investing feelings in a guy who wasn’t even available for a relationship yet or didn’t feel as strongly as I did.

      Most players aren’t looking for commitment. It’s never about the other person. It’s about us. A true player is narcissistic. What you’re describing is someone who’s been hurt, who doesn’t want to be hurt again. So you control your feelings to protect yourself. I get it. But players like myself, don’t feel nada. Cause it’s about us… If a narcissistic player doesn’t get their way, then they may fake attachment in order to get their way.

      • travthereallyreal666

        Holy shit that’s scary

        • Jack

          It is right. You have to becareful about screening people. And learn to play their games back and forth. Don’t invest emotionally until your certain. Don’t put the ring on the finger until your really really sure.

      • Onder Hassan

        It’s better to try and get hurt than to close yourself off and avoid happiness. Otherwise, you will be missing out on some potentially great relationships with people.

        The best advice is to respect yourself, know your values, boundaries and what you stand for. That way, you can open yourself up knowing that you can protect yourself as of when something goes wrong.

        You will never know who’s genuinely into you if you walk through life closed and untrusting.

        You’re only doing yourself harm.

    • travthereallyreal666

      That all sounds like one big game, nobody real no more, it’s over

      • Jack

        It happens so much it’s amazing the human population still increases. I’ve played this back and forth so many times… I’ve been the male player and been played by the female player. The female player even though when she says she won’t play games with “you” she still does. She gets upset when she sees you have other options. And then when you try to prove your loyalty to her she feels like you are a pushover… And weak. And looks for something better. Especially if you haven’t put a ring on that finger just yet. But a man has gotta test the woman’s loyalty. Especially in a long distance relationship, if she can’t keep her fucking legs together for a few weeks while your gone… She just self selected herself out of your life.

        • Onder Hassan

          Putting a ring on a girl’s finger doesn’t improve the odds, it makes it worse. For the life of your own emotional sanity, “DO NOT GET MARRIED.”

    • Mike

      I totally disagree she is very good at manipulating man that’s all . And her no 1 weapon is sex . Those woman player look for a beta male or nice guys because they are easier to manipulate !!!! Or it’s very hard for them to get a new girlfriend !!! That’s why they act so needy with that player so they can satisfy her needs mostly money in return for sex !!! But that player can’t stand a chance with a make player because one she gave it up she’s done in the eyes of a seasoned player ..

      • Bart

        I’ve never heard the term “beta male” until I found a website of insecure men whining about hot women ignoring them.

        Yes, sex can be a weapon, but to assume most women are withholding it as a means to manipulate men is weak. Since men are notorious for dumping girls once they give it up, they have to be cautious and sure that’s not likely to happen before taking things to the next step. She might not care about that and worry you’ll talk about it to people she knows or spread rumours she doesn’t want to be bothered with. There may be someone close to you whom she doesn’t want finding out. She might have heard something negative about you from someone else and is trying to figure you out. There are a number of reasons a woman may spend a lengthy amount of time flirting. Heck she might even just be friendly.

        It’s just silly to assume it’s all manipulation.

    • Nikita Mor

      Awesome anais. Totally true.

  • Bianca Torjaun


    • Onder Hassan

      If you’re young, have at it. But don’t complain once you’re older, less attractive, get less attention from men and hear your Biological clock start to tick… Don’t waste your time.

    • Me Yuh

      I agree. Don’t forget stupid too!

  • BigKatt33

    Definitely a article for any man who is a damn SIMP and can’t use his logical mind to recognize whats good. The people who write shit like this mind boggles me….The woman he is describing are fucked up anyway and you get played by one of these bitches than you’re no better B.A.N.’s

  • LR

    Men are more intuitive than women and also women want you men feeling hurt all the time because they want the pimpette hand.

  • Heartbreaker

    I think I am considered a female player. Lol. Not ashamed though.
    I like the fact that guys will chase me, want to impress me, and do things for me. To me, it proves his worth. If a MAN is not willing to do almost anything to make me happy and be with me, then he doesn’t understand how I work. It’s a dangerous game, but I play it because theres a lot of guys out there that think they’re all that and can pull any girl they want. Then they meet me and they’re thinking, I’m not going to chase you, and I’m like…… wanna bet?
    Hahahaha men by nature like to chase, so I let them.

    • Angel

      I am female tortured by every man. so what you are doing to men is very good. i would love to talk more to you to help me . contact me at angelinaholy@gmail.com

    • Me Yuh

      I’m the exact same way. But I like to play the “passive” role in the beginning. I like them to think I’m easy, so I can turn the tables on them unexpectedly. I have done this to too many players. It’s too funny watching them develop actual feelings for someone. So Glad I’m emotionally detached. 😛

    • Mike

      i totally disagree with u here !!!! See true man player manipulate woman player thru money game . Players girls falls for money fast and they want to seal the deal faster but it’s too late !!! She already GAVE IT up fast and soon !!! And she’s done completely . THE ART is to promise them the world but don’t deliver !!! Sell them a dream…. With Least amount money possible !!!! That’s why I roll that’s how I manipulate woman with a weak ego like you !!! Ps money maker heart braker baby !!!!

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  • Me Yuh

    Sounds like me LOL! You left out that most female players secretly hate men.

  • Tina

    A lot of men are attracted to this type of female. Where I live I see it everyday. A high maintenance woman with an aloof attitude and zero emotions…landing record numbers of men. It’s a behavior that may seem negative to some but the playing field in the dating world has changed. I’ve always been the nice chick but lately I’ve had an “I don’t care” attitude. The only difference between me and some of the characteristics of the player woman above is that I make my own money and never ask a man for anything. I can understand the rest that was written though….men do it all the time.

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  • guys are so stupid, i once dated a guy who i called the police on pretending i was another women over and over until they finally arrested him to get finger prints, i told the police i was a victim of domestic abuse and violence pretending i was his ex girlfriend but claimed i was too scared to file a complaint, they finally put the poor guy on a domestic violence list, once that happened i used to put my finger on the phone when i did not like anything between us.

    example one day we had a fight about who will go to the store, i simply picked up the phone and said YOU GOT @ MINS HUNG! he did not listen and i called 911, within 2 minutes he was arrested again, i dont feel sorry for the stupid phuck because like all guys once they are flatted out like this with police its FOREVER, so his next girl will eventually do the same if i tell her WOMEN claimed he hit them (un fortunately i am many of these women)

    • Andrea

      What? So he never hit you but you pretended so he would get listed? Embarrassment.

    • Onder Hassan

      You’re a piss poor example of a decent human being. I’m absolutely disgusted.

  • Andrea

    Lol what. Have you considered maybe your weird projection/psychological tests also got in the way of this? Good thing she didn’t commit to you, when it’s real I feel both parties put these games and “natural attraction” aside. So I don’t think she missed out tbh and neither did you.

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