So you meet this guy. The first impression is good and you two exchange numbers. You have a conversation, maybe two, maybe several and nothing seems to be wrong. Then all of a sudden he stopped calling and you’re not hearing from him at all. Maybe it’s been a day, or days, or even weeks. Bottom line is the conversation has stopped and you don’t know what the hell is going on. Is he secretly married? Is he just a player with too many women to keep up with? Did you do something wrong and don’t know it? Maybe his dog ate his phone? The possibilities are endless, and in your pursuit to figure out why he stopped calling, you explore all of them. It is driving you crazy and you start to really question your luck with relationships and men. WHY THE HELL HASN’T HE CALLED!!! Is what you want to scream out but it definitely isn’t what you need to do.
Just go and ask him. That’s right, it can be that simple. I did a speaking engagement over the weekend at the wonderful Bellissima Studios in Atlanta, GA. One of the ladies in the audience posed this question and raised her concerns about how to handle this situation. When I answered by saying “just ask him” her reply was “is it really ok to do that”…YES! Understand ladies that if you ask a valid question properly, calmly, and in a positive manner then there should be no issue. If a man takes issue with it then it is likely he just isn’t into you like that. No man cares to be questioned by some woman he is just trying to get some ass from. Even with that in mind, a positive approach will likely get you an answer (doesn’t mean you will like the answer). If you attack him with your questioning of why he stopped calling, or give off negative energy, then yes you may receive a lot of resistance or flat-out dismissal regardless of if he really liked you or not. The point is why drive yourself insane wondering what may be the issue when you can just put yourself out of your misery. Sometimes it can be something so simple yet you allow your fear and doubt to insert all types of negative scenarios in your head. It isn’t worth to play the guessing game and it is simply a waste of your time. Just ask him why he stopped calling.
On the flip side let’s say you reach out to him (or not) and you never hear back from him. Yeah I know that sucks but you just have to let it go. We can sit here and speculate all the reasons why he stopped calling but one fact will remain…he is no longer calling you. Don’t go beating yourself up because you were really hoping this one would work out. It may make no sense to you why the conversation stopped and yes we would all love to have a better understanding of why things go wrong. The reality is sometimes we may never get that explanation and we should not dwell in trying to figure out within our own perception of things. You chalk it up as their loss and for all you know, the fact that he stopped calling could be a blessing in disguise. That man could have eventually turned out to be the worst thing that would have happened to you. You have just dodged a huge bullet and that is a good thing. For those that say “well it also could have been a great guy I missed out on”. If he was really the guy for you, and ready to be that guy, then there is no way he would have disappeared like that.
Stop trying to calculate your moves and hold back how you genuinely feel about a situation. It isn’t what you say, it is how you say it. As a woman your mind can be your own worst enemy. Many women are constantly analyzing situations but you would be better served just facing the situation head on. A man who is genuinely interested in you would appreciate that approach. He would want you to come to him instead of staying mad and quiet. That doesn’t help him any and it damn sure isn’t helping you. So if he stopped calling, and you don’t know why…just go ask him. If he won’t answer you or gives you a bulls**t response then the real question becomes should you even be entertaining this man anymore. If he doesn’t respond at all well now you can definitely move on and not waste the next few weeks holding on to a dead situation. Sitting back in doubt, confusion, and misery isn’t going to produce anything positive. Taking a positive and more direct approach will make things a lot clearer.
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