Studies have shown anywhere from 55% – 80% (If not more) of women fake orgasms. Yet ask any man on the street and they think they are handing out orgasms like a bag of peanuts on an airplane. That math is not adding up people! As sexual as our society has become we still seem to not have a great grasp on all things sex. This lack of understanding and knowledge leads to a lot of sexually unfulfilling marriages which many times will lead to plenty of infidelity. The reality is that there is so much more to the female orgasm that many have not embraced. We just go off of what our friends tell us, and some of the experiences we have had. That in itself doesn’t always create an accurate perception. So let’s start to take a closer look at the female orgasm. Starting with the fact that you can’t guarantee she had one.
Did you know that at one time (even to this day for some) the female orgasm is believed to be a myth? That’s right and this isn’t just based on some men who had to come up with a way to defend their inability to satisfy their women…or was it? Well some scientist themselves believed that it was a myth. Essentially they said to get out of here with that crap, there is no female orgasm, and all of you ladies are just nuts! (Of course I am very loosely paraphrasing so those were not their exact words). The reality is that there is no physical evidence you can present to prove that a woman has climaxed. Not to get too graphic but for those of you who were under the impression that the white discharge you sometimes see a woman produce is evidence of an orgasm, you are mistaken. That is just a buildup of her natural lubrication (“wetness”) and the friction from sex can provide its white color. So any woman can moan all night, scream your name, and make her body tremble all in the name of making you feel like “King Ding-A-Ling”. She can say she had 5 orgasms and you will have no way of proving her wrong. Truth is what man would even want to prove her wrong. We all like to believe that we laid it down right, so who is really going to question it unless it was a horrible performance (act) on her part. Could you imagine some man jumping up after sex, pointing his finger screaming “YOU LIAR!! You did not just have an orgasm, I did not just satisfy you sexually, and who the hell is this Mike guy you just screamed out!!” Even if a man did do that, could he prove her beyond a reasonable doubt to be a liar? You see men provide hardcore evidence when we climax. Unless you have just run a climax marathon, something is going to seep out of your “tool” that shows the man has indeed reached this point. That just doesn’t happen with women and therefore you will never know 100% that she just had an orgasm.
Ok so what’s the point of me bringing this up? Well I feel the sooner we as men become more open to the realities of sex and female orgasms, the sooner we can improve our approach to the matter. Many men (as well as women) need a wakeup call when it comes to their performance and understanding of sex. Really we all have room for improvement but when we don’t embrace that we make it harder for our women to be able to be open and honest with us about what is really going on. I know of a woman who has faked her orgasm for three years with the same man. She simply does not want to hurt his ego, push him away, or look like something is wrong with her. Now I am not trying to scare the men in to thinking all the orgasms your woman said she had is false, but don’t even focus on that. Just be willing to embrace the fact that maybe there are some areas that need to be addressed. Create an environment where she can feel comfortable admitting if she has faked it or won’t feel the need to fake it moving forward. Allow for constructive criticism to be given in your relationship and please don’t just point the finger at her if she admits to their not being many orgasms (if any at all) between you two (yes she has to accept her role but you are in this together). Take heed of these things and you will not just increase the chances of more orgasms and a better sex life, but more importantly a much better relationship with that woman.