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Top 12 Reasons “Good Women” Are Single (Part 1)

all the single ladies good single women

A few weeks back I posted an article Top 12 Reasons Good Men Are Single, and now the time has come for me to address the ladies. Disclaimer: I didn’t hold punches on the guys, so in fairness I have to come out swinging with the ladies : )Please don’t take offense, evaluate the point being made not the tone, and make sure to read ALL 12 Reasons.

I know most men will agree that so many women claim to be “good women”. The reality is, only a handful truly fit the mold of being the woman a man truly needs and desires. There are several things that can be pointed out as to why they are not ready and why they continuously find themselves single. So here are the Top 12 Reasons “Good Women” Are Single.

1. Because You Act Like A B**CH!!! Have A Bad Attitude!

You may not like to hear that, but this issue is very real for some women. I’m not trying to be disrespectful in any way, but I want to make my point very clear. You have so many women that walk around with a nasty, stuck up attitude and they have the audacity to wonder why they struggle with finding the right man. Some of them will attempt to cover it up by proclaiming to be a “diva”, too “classy”, or that they are just speaking their mind. In reality you just have a bad attitude. Some people might say, well I see plenty of women like that married or in relationships. Don’t be fooled, she wasn’t completely showing that side in the beginning, why? Because she was being deceptive with hiding it. Either way, being a negative person isn’t going to help you find love. Most of the men may still go after you for sex, but if you learn to fix that attitude then you will start to attract the right kind of man in your life.

2. You Blame Men For Everything

That is why some of you are still single. You refuse to make yourself accountable for your actions. Everything is a man’s fault, and according to you, once they “act right” then you will have no problem falling in line. First off, I agree that men have contributed so much to the issues in relationships and women in general. We as men do have a responsibility to step up and do better. The thing is, if you aren’t willing to “step up” as well, then we will continue to have an issue, and you will continue to find yourself by yourself. At the end of the day, you control how you handle things. If you are not prepared to look in the mirror then you will never realize the flaws you have and that need improvement. So next time you want to put it all on men, check yourself, and accept that you have a choice to do better and truly be one of the “good women” out there.

3. You Think Your Looks Will Carry You Through Life

Ok so you’re beautiful and have a nice body, great! Problem is, if a man talks to you and finds out that there is nothing else to you then why would he bother wanting to make you his woman. He will still want sex (sex is always an option for men) but that’s it. Men may be more superficial than women, but most of us still want a woman who has some kind of personality. Make yourself a more well-rounded fun individual and more men will want to make you their own.

4. You Are A Gold Digger

Ok maybe you aren’t exactly on that level, but you have made how much he makes your top priority. You are so caught up in dollar signs that you overlook the things that are truly important to having and maintaining a relationship. Realize that most men are not rich, so right there you immediately make it harder for yourself to find the right guy. Even if a guy has money, if he sees that’s what you are mainly about he won’t take you seriously. I’m not saying date broke men, but I am saying that money should not be your main motivator. Have better priorities and you will find yourself in better relationships.

5. You Don’t Keep Yourself Up

Not that you have to get your nails and hair done every 2 weeks (though some of us do like that) but you can’t always look raggedy either. I mean damn, some of you ladies just put no real effort into how you look. Not everyone has the same style, but good hygiene and health should be a goal for all. Most of us want our woman to look good. As I stated earlier we men are a bit more superficial than women, so to grab and keep our attention you need to be mindful of how you present yourself. You know where you can improve your look, so get started on it if you want to increase your chances of going from being one of the single “good women” to one of the taken “good women”.

6. Sex Has Been Your Downfall!

I personally believe it is best to wait, but the reality is that most of us have or will engage in sex before we are married. As a woman if you chose to do that, then understand that your “skills” or lack thereof will impact a man’s willingness to make you his woman. Unfortunately a lot of women think they are good but really the experience was nothing to talk about. Women are quick to talk about a man’s performance while neglecting the fact that they could use a lot of improvement as well. It doesn’t take as much to please most men sexually, so be more open to ways you can improve if you choose to take that route (best to just wait).


This was just the first six reasons I wanted to put out there but it is in no particular order of importance. Next will be  Part 2 of my Top 12 Reasons Good Women Are Single. Let these marinate for a second. I already know that some women are going to say I am leaving out some of the positive reasons why a woman is single. Be patient, it will all come. I know there is more to it then what I stated today but I believe these were definitely things some “good women” needed to hear. Feel free to express your feelings on the first six by leaving a comment.

Related Article: 12 Reasons “Good Men” Are Single

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118 thoughts on “Top 12 Reasons “Good Women” Are Single (Part 1)”

  1. Lhafeez

    I agree with the first 6. I must say I am guilty of “letting myself go.” You get comfortable with your boyfriend and sweats and a t-shirt become an easy go to when you are together.

    I look forward to the next 6.

    1. RelationshipExpert

      thanks Lhafeez : ) and I appreciate your willingness to admit that you are guilty of one of these reasons. NOw that you can acknowledge that, time to improve upon it : )

  2. Joelle Paule

    Wow u went on hard with this one lol but i must give it to u. It’s true. Hope the remaining 6 will be a little positive and will hit home 🙂

    1. RelationshipExpert

      thank you for being willing to acknowledge the truth behind this Joelle. I went with the negative tone because women didn’t object to it when I did that to the men. So in fairness I had to hit women with the same to get this started. the next 6 will indeed have a different tone

  3. Laurice

    Hey Stephan,
      Nice theory, but not all true I guess I’ll wait for the next 6 reasons because I’m not buying everything your saying.  I am a good single woman and I haven’t found my category yet. #1 the sweetest woman is usually the meanest if you make her that way, you keep hurting her and she keeps being quiet….you know the rest. #2 Blaming others is reality, hell you gotta get over those feelings somehow, i’m not saying don’t take some responsiblity because yes it takes two. #3 I agree beauty fades so; no one should depend on looks alone. #4 I agree loving or liking a man for what he has isn’t love its only momentarily before something is lost and then you totally lose interest.  We should love for the content of the character and all else can and will fall in place. #5 I agree it’s important that women look down on themselves especially Christian women who believe that because they serve the Lord they can’t look good. I’m a firm believer give God your best not walk this earth looking like the world owes you something hello.  We’re supposed to win souls not run them away.  #6 I agree Ladies hold your horses and just wait the old saying still holds true why buy the cow when he is milking it for free. Make him wait..Remember ladies “REAL” men love a challenge. 
       Stephan your discussion are amazing maybe you can help me figure out what I’m lacking! (lol)

    1. RelationshipExpert

      Hey Laurice : ). Since we agree on #3 – #6 I will leave those alone. For #1 I know where you ae coming from and it will b addressed in the next 6, but that does not excuse continuing to have a bad attitude. For #2 blaming others may be a reality, but what also is a reality is that blaming others will do nothing to improve your situation. Personal accountability is important  if you want to progress in life

      Thank you very much, and if you want me to assist you with that just email me

    2. keishahutch

       But women need to define what is acceptable and what is not acceptable for them

      1. Valle Vista

        Women don’ t need to define in fact they can’t define because they are illiterate about the dictionary. Anthony in LA.

    3. Valle Vista

      Real men don’ want a challenge they want a REAL woman of which there are very few. You got it all wrong lady. Anthony in LA

    1. RelationshipExpert

      Can I get an AMEN! lol

    2. Bluewater_7

      There is only one gospel and that is the gospel of Jesus Christ! This is foolery. All opinion, no facts. You’re not a woman. Therefore, you can’t tell women why they’re single. Are you an expert? Obviously not! I’ll stick to God’s Word and do things His way. This is a joke lol. By the way, must you use profanity? It’s quite obvious that you can use some work on your vocabulary. Focus on your writing skills and less on relationships.

      1. StephanLabossiere

        You are correct Bluewater_7 but I don’t think Dermosley actually meant that literally. Now to say that as a man I can’t tell women what is contributing to them being single I think is a bit off. If we the men are who they are trying to attract, then are we not qualified to point out what may be hindering that process? Many women desire a man’s perspective and appreciate hearing what a man has to say on the topic. If you prefer to only get your insight from women, I can respect that. I can never argue with doing things GOD’s way because that is definitely the way to go. I will concede that I could have gone a different route with the use of some of my words. I went that route for a reason but I can understand and respect those who felt that direction was not the best. Nothing wrong with your disagreement, but it would be nice for you to share and point out where these exact 12 reasons went wrong or were inaccurate. Maybe there is something you can show me that I have overlooked and I welcome any opportunity to learn and grow…by the way, did you read all 12 or did you just stop at 6 after you felt you disagreed with this? I encourage you to read all 12 and see if you still feel the same way.

      2. Aquaman1980

        Bluewater, in all fairness, I think its great for a man to point out what a woman may be lacking in attracting men.  How many articles, books, movies, etc have focused and allowed women to tell men what they are doing wrong in attracting and keeping them.   You are supporting a serious DOUBLE-STANDARD.   If you are telling the author that he is not a woman and should not give women relationship advice, then please be equal and tell your girlfriends that they need to stop telling men relationship advice.   We were created by GOD to support and hold each other accountable.  Do you realize that you negative attitude based comment contributes and increases the distrust war that currently exists between men and women?

        1. StephanLabossiere

          Thank you Aquaman, very well said.

        2. SHEKIEJ

          omg..i cant hit the like button enough…exactly why we have these stereotyipical thoughts about one another one ever takes the time to listen and apply..always so judgemental.. #HUMANS

  4. Sharonatw

    I don’t agree. VERY negative.

    1. RelationshipExpert

      Well I came with this tone for a reason, and as I stated the next 6 will balance things out. I still would like to hear why you disagree. Do you honestly believe that these reasons are not accurate?

  5. RelationshipExpert

    I find it interesting that no woman objected to my first 6 reasons for the men. Now that the tables have turned some are crying foul.  

  6. Beautyunmatched75

    I totally agree.

  7. Carolleebethea

    Greetings Labossiere. I am a single great woman and I still find myself alone. I have asked myself several times what I could be lacking. Im sure it’s something but it’s not any of the six you metioned. I am everything you give the answer too.. Im truely lost. I can’t wait to read the next set. Any advice will be greatly appreciated.

    1. RelationshipExpert

      Greeting Carollee : ). I posted the other 6 today. Take a look and if you still don’t find yourself on the list feel free to fill out the advice form on the sidebar so that we can take a deeper look as to what may be the issue.

      1. Mylbethea

        I have. I fall into catagory #10. Im shameful to say. I used my twitter name mylbethea. Thanks for responding your awesome! 🙂

        1. RelationshipExpert

          Don’t feel ashamed, we all have things that we can improve on. Now that you can recognize and acknowledge what you may have been doing wrong, now comes the time to start making corrections : ). You are very welcome and thank you very much.

  8. Lapompe16

    One of my single friends thinks a man is supposed to help change u! I’m like u need to work on yourself 1st. No one can make anyone change. Most of those 6 reasons are true! —305Diva

    1. RelationshipExpert

      A significant other should be able to pull the best out of you, but as you told your friend correctly, she has to work on herself first. 

      1. Missjacqson

        I want to add that we ALL need to slow down, give credit where credit is do. Appreciation and gratitude go a long way. We MUST know ourselves, think about our words when they are not getting through…and meet each other half way. Some are natural givers, some takers. It’s ok for things to be slightly off balance sometimes-if your partner does more in another department. Partnership is an agreement to SHARE life and it’s responsibilities. A man cannot carry a baby in his belly, but he can take the dogs for the walk while his wife carries the baby!! When you are about to leave a good man-or a good woman, sometimes you know your NOT ready for it. But we must all question ourselves when we make those decisions-and recognize if that is a FACT or an Excuse, then be honest to the other person and true to ourselves…(the most difficult thing for a good majority of people)!

        1. Missjacqson

          And I know this is an old post but such a great one, happy to have stumbled across you Stephen!

  9. bw27single

    I am a good woman and fall under none of these cats except number six (only had sex with one guy) so, if i am single because of my lack of experience then so be it run off with your lose whore…I would love man with patience. I want to know what pleases him, and why would a man want the same tricks his girl has performed on some other guy performed on him. 

    1. StephanLabossiere

      Remember I gave the disclaimer to read all 12, because many may not find themselves on the first 6 but do find themselves on the last 6. To address your comment regarding the sex issue, I agree that men should have patience (which I believe most would for the woman they truly want to be with). Problem is most men aren’t truly serious about many of the women they entertain and therefore don’t have patience for such things. Of course this doesn’t apply to all because there are plenty of men who would be intrigued (whether they are serious about you or not) about your lack of experience. So it varies, I just wanted to make the point that skill level can have an impact on the situation. Lastly we shouldn’t resort to insulting women who have taken a more promiscuous path. 

  10. Cali Mango

    Laurice stated it all lol! Nice article Stephan but,”NO GOOD MEN” make women “bitchie” I’m a good woman and single by choice until I can find a God fearing man that’s my worth.I totally agree with your six reason’s, you hit the nail on the head!!

    1. StephanLabossiere

      : ) Thank you Cali, I hope you remember to read the last six reasons. Trust me, I understand how “no good men” contribute to the issue, but women still have to understand that they make the decision to act “b***hie”. So with that, they have the power to not act that way as well. It is counter productive for a woman to adopt that behavior because of “no good men”. You will basically allow those men to cause you to miss out on the “good man” GOD has waiting for you.

    2. StephanLabossiere

      lol Thanks Cali : ) and I hope you also read the last six reasons. I do agree that men contribute to a woman’s negative attitude, women still have to accept that they make the choice to have that attitude or not. It is counter productive to become that way because of some bad men, because all it does is make it harder for you to get the “right guy”.

  11. Cali Mango

    Laurice stated it all lol! Nice article Stephan but,”NO GOOD MEN” make women “bitchie” I’m a good woman and single by choice until I can find a God fearing man that’s my worth.I totally agree with your six reason’s, you hit the nail on the head!!

  12. Rog2199

    Nicely said. I think women really need to see these reasons..some of them I’ve been trying to tell my best friend (a Dr.) & she’s all into a man’s financial status and NOT his drive and ambition. Great post!

    1. StephanLabossiere

      Thank you Rog. I agree, though many of the women do not like it, many of them need to see these reasons and understand these are issues that hinder them in trying to find a partner. I hope your friend starts to realize how her focus on money makes things more difficult.

  13. Zania

    Your reasons completely contradict your title! 12 reasons ‘good women’ are single?…cause your a bitch and act like a gold digger!! Those characteristics do not describe a good woman, so they make no sense! You’re reasons imply there are no God women seems as though your are unable to have any knowledge on why GOOD women are single…tut tut surprised at you Mr. Labossiere

    1. StephanLabossiere

      I understand why you believe that the title contradicts the article, but l encourage you to look deeper. Did you notice that I mentioned that many women consider themselves “good women” but in reality this is not always the case. So what I am trying to get across to all the self proclaimed or even the perceived “Good Women” is that if you are still single, there is a reason, and one of those reasons can probably be found on this list (have to read all 12). There are plenty of women that these reasons apply to yet they consider themselves a “good women”. Most people are not willing to acknowledge or accept what could be hindering them, and this list is here to just put it out there. 

  14. Zania

    I think you should change your title to ’12 reasons why women/men are single’.
    All of the reasons given are transferrable to both men and women, I don’t believe there is evidence which shows one sex showing more of those traits than the other.(reason #2 would be ‘you blame women for everything though, this article shows evidence of that 🙂

    1. StephanLabossiere

      Well actually I had already written an article 12 Reasons “Good Men” Are Single, which was in response to an article I found on the internet. If you read that article you will see that I did not like the fact that they blamed everything on women, and it didn’t promote self accountability. Of course you can always apply many things to both sexes, but I think it is more effective to go at one gender at a time. In my opinion combining it allows people to always point the finger at the other without accepting the things they need to correct. I think most would agree that some of these reasons do lean towards one gender, such as #4. This article is not about blaming women for everything, it is about showing women the things that may be hindering them and are in their control to correct.  

  15. Breegordon1

    Stephan, I personally think that you have a great point! You were straightforward, and I could appreciate your honesty. Just from listening to friends and others, I agree with every point you mentioned. As a woman who is proud to stand beside her great man, I feel like women don’t hold themselves accountable for a lot of things. Keep up the good work!

    1. StephanLabossiere

      Thank you very much Bree, I really appreciate that. I wish more women can be as receptive as you and some of the other women who have commented on this post. Being able to hold ourselves accountable is essential to growth and progress.

  16. Breegordon1

    Stephan, I personally think that you have a great point! You were straightforward, and I could appreciate your honesty. Just from listening to friends and others, I agree with every point you mentioned. As a woman who is proud to stand beside her great man, I feel like women don’t hold themselves accountable for a lot of things. Keep up the good work!

  17. I agree with all 6 of these reasons. I may have further to comment after I read the next 6. Great Job as usual. 😉

  18. I think these are the types of discussions we need to have. There is clearly a missing link in our relationships or the lack thereof.

    1. StephanLabossiere

      Thank you Charmaine : )

  19. Karleigh2010

    Well, for starters.. I am a women & I think some of the best advice about women for women, come from men! Who better to tell us what works for them and what doesn’t. What they like and don’t like.. Most women tend to be judgmental & always moving their mouths instead of just listening. WOMEN… If you hear your men.. I mean REALLY HEAR men. Stephan is right on point. I could go on for hours about this subject..

    1. StephanLabossiere

      Thank you very much Karleigh. I appreciate that and I am happy you are able to receive this article in the way that it was intended. 

    2. Heaven's Illusion

       Karleigh I’d like to hear what you really have to say because it’s not often to hear women speak out like this and in a positive manner.

  20. Sharlethag

    On point, for the average woman. I’ll wait and read part 2 to see if you ever get to me..

    1. StephanLabossiere

      Thank you very much. I just added a link at the bottom to Part 2 so you can check it out.

  21. I hear alot of women say they want a good man. A man with the right balance of sweetness and masculinity. That’s spends quality time, cooks for them, sends flowers, massage their body the right way. Sexually or Intimately or both. But when they get a man like that they dont know how to cherish or appreciate that guy and want to go back to what they are accoustemed too. We good guys love to cherish the woman we are with, but we also desire a certain amount of attention in return. Often at times its not much. Just knowing you appreciate our efforts go along way, and knowing that we are the only man in your life helps. On occasion in a relationship one person is a worldly person, and the other is saved by the blood of Jesus. And one person want’s the other to change. It’s not gonna work. As much as you like that person, you personally can’t change anyone. Other than yourself and your children. God is the only person that can change his children. If you want a different outcome from your relationship then stop dateing the same type of people.

    1. StephanLabossiere

      You raise a great point Michael and I do plan to address the things you spoke on. One of the reasons why women run from that great man and back to what they are accustomed to is because they are scared. A man with all those qualities is basically “too good to be true” and poses a great threat to their feelings. There are other reasons as well but I will get into that more with future blog posts. 

    2. Valle Vista

      Totally agree with you except you forget women are totally incapable and or unwilling to make the required changes you recommend and are changes that are correct to be made. Anthony in LA.

  22. Destin4grtness

    You make some very valid points. The thing about being a “good” man or women is that it depends on the individual’s definition of “good.” In discovering my true identity, I’ve decided to just be me. There’s a man mad just for me. We’ll be perfect for each other.

  23. Qroberts727

    These are some ok points, but this is not the problem of relationships. I believe there is no book,theory,quotes, and or movies that can tell you how to be happy in a relationship or be happy with yourself and or what will work for you. You as a person have to make a decision as to what you want and what you can tolerate and just for future reference there is no such thing as a gold digger, just as a man would like certain features on a woman, woman like certain features and or things on a man. And the only problem I have with post like this is that they inflict that a woman should have to change to be in a relationship. I mean you could do it but if you didn’t really want to do do it from the beginning the true you will come out one day unfortunately by that tme your married with kids.

    1. StephanLabossiere

      I would have to disagree and say that these are some of the problems for many relationships or women hoping to find a good relationship. We see it everyday, and though some may put on the act that all is well, when you look deeper you will find unhappiness and frustration. There is such a thing as a Gold Digger. I see nothing wrong with wanting a man to have some financial stability, and I agree that it is no different then wanting a woman to have certain features. The issue is when that takes top priority for either party. Everyone has to change/evolve and nothing is wrong with that. Many of the issues listed in the first 6 are not really who that woman is, but simply a manifestation of other issues such as being hurt (as I mentioned in #7 of part 2). I personally do not believe that any of these 6 are core to who the woman really is even if she has yet to realize that. I don’t want a woman to change who she truly is, I want her to be the best woman she can be, and sometimes all it takes is getting rid of all the walls that she has up for her to be that truly great woman.

  24. fitnessforlife

    Misogyny at it’s best. Thanks for showing your ass.

    1. StephanLabossiere

      I understand that the tone of the first 6 reasons comes off very negative and I will apologize for that. There was a reason for it but in no way do I feel this shows a hatred for women. I am not saying that these issues are exclusive to single women, but they do accurately apply to many women and why they still find themselves single. I’m not sure where there is hypocrisy here. I laid out the 12 reasons for men and I was just as hard on them. Did you happen to only read these 6 reasons and not proceed with reading all 12 as stated in the disclaimer? I encourage you to do so and comment again when you finish reading them. I completely understand why you are only receiving this in a negative manner, but I assure you there is truth and benefit to be found when you decide to look at this in a different way. 

  25. Reign

    I am so sick to damn eternity of BLACK MEN, always preaching about BLACK WOMEN’S “bad attitude”! Not to make excuses for nastiness, but have you ever asked yourselves why we are so angry??? I mean where I come from, the women have been the strength of all things!!! It so amazing to me for the small few who have a man around, THE BLACK WOMAN must work, keep her body right, take the kids to doctor appointments, parent conferences, extra-curricular activities, be emotional support for the kids, shopping for the kids, etc…….(DON’T FORGET THIS IS ALL WHILE SHE GOT A SO CALLED GOOD MAN LAYING BESIDE HER)…then perform magic tricks in the bedroom! While Black men do what?? Oh that’s right, Chase skirts, be as physical unattractive and Trifling as you please, AND complain THAT we have attitudes. Stop it please!!! We go through a hella lot more than our disrespectful counterpart! All you have to do is Sling that RAGGEDY ASS Piss Stick of yours, while women act a damn fool with each other over the bottom of the barrel left-overs that you bring to the table. I’m not going to even touch the rest of the eleven reasons because this Topic is beyond redundancy! Black men We are tired! Why don’t you all for once check your shit?

    1. StephanLabossiere

      I completely understand where the attitude comes from and a woman can choose to have a bad attitude all that she wants. Just understand that this will work against you if you are hoping to find a happy and healthy relationship. The article by itself may seem to put it all on the women, but that’s only because I like to address one gender at a time. I have addressed the men in this way as well, and actually this article came about after I wrote the 12 reasons “good men” are single. If you read that article and many others I have written (including my book) then you will see it has been acknowledged that men need to do better and far too many are falling short. So I agree with you 100% that men need to check themselves, but that does not dismiss that the same applies for women. I encourage you to read the other 12, especially 7 – 12. I understand you position completely but the goal is to push both men and women in a better direction. So it will take both sides being willing to hold themselves accountable for the things they can improve upon. Putting our best foot forward should not be contingent on what the other is doing, we just all have to strive to be the best person we can be no matter what.

  26. Moe

    Ok, awwwwww this drives men CRAZY!!!!! This drives men CRAZY cause single women these days have been putting out this aura that they want this FANTASY LA LA magical world kind of guy. Too many single women have this false fantasy non existent “Mr. Perfect” and so many men these days have this HUGE PIT in their stomach and sour stomach because so many single women simple DON’T GET IT and drives men insane!!!! It seems like to men that women these days want this “instant” fantasy and expect this something to be absolutely “perfect” like they want to have this “guy” and they want to come to his house and it’s like for a lot of guys these days so many women seem to want like this “perfect” guy with a “perfect house”. It’s as though so many single women these days expect to walk into a marble, perfectly spotless house, the guy supposed to have endless money, suppose to be 6+++ feet tall, suppose to have this “perfect” job (even though the economy is S**T), it’s like he’s suppose to have perfect teeth, perfect skin complexion.

    Ok plus so many women gripe, moan and complain about the “where are the good guys”? You want to know where they are??????????? Ok here is the SIMPLE ANSWER…  You know “that” guy at the bar that’s standing literally 6″ maybe a foot away from you, isn’t quit sure what “exactly” to say to you, he’s not EXACTLY 6++” tall, you ladies “assume” just cause he didn’t strike up that “perfect” conversation like you want from like (the movies, from LA LA land) you huff and do the disgust NOOOOOO and just completely disregard him. That right there ladies, RIGHT THERE is your so called “GOOD GUY”. Yes he might have some “bad boy” to him but you again just “assume” cause he didn’t know “exactly” what to say that he’s this to “good” of a guy. But then after you complain, gripe and moan about “where are the good guys” you turn around and go for the convict from Sing Sing that just served 30 years for MURDER, DUI, ROBBERY, is a hard core druggie, stabbed someone or has a “rap sheet” as long as a 10 page book then you proclaim oh he’s goooooooood. But oh WAIT a minute “Mr. Convict” can’t ever find a job, he’s totally uneducated, dropped out of high school or never made it past 6th grade. But Mr. college graduate, possibly grad school grad, Mr. has his s*it together, might have done some “BAD” things in life but was smart enough to never get caught, doesn’t have any kind of “rap sheet”, never ever been arrested, has a job, OR was accidentally LAID OFF (not his fault), busting his a** to quickly find another job even with a bad economy, always bettering themselves then you ladies say this effin BS he’s tooooooooo good, or are like yuckkkkkk. Well we are the GOOD GUYS!!! We did out parting during college, we did our bing drinking during college, after we graduated college, possibly went on to grad school, got our sh*t together were more socially drinking, starting to want that serious relationship, that marriage, the family (that’s called “REALITY”).            

  27. Guest

    I really feel like you should change the title because all of the charcteristics you are using do not describe a “good woman”.

    1. Did you read part 2 (#6 – #12)? What you stated is the point I am trying to make with my title. There are many women who consider themselves “good women” yet one or more of these reasons apply to them. They are not facing the reality of what is hindering them from the “right man” finding them. So that is why I made the title what it is.

  28. Georgia

    Wow! I like all six of your reasons cause yes in all actuality. All woman fit all six topics its sad but true andthe sooner they face it that they fit one or more of those reasons the better off they will be. Can wait for the other six.

  29. Cindilouhu

    Great !!!  Enjoy reading.  Now to pick up your Book.

  30. Cori

    I know this article was written months ago but obviously I’m just seeing it and I have always been baffled by #5. I know we as women should take care of ourselves and care about our appearances but I swear I can think of several married women I know who are huge. I hear married men complain about their wives gaining weight but they marry big women all the time….I don’t understand that? Also, it’s just not the weight either….they may look like a hot mess in general but obviously the man loves them inspite of this or maybe he just tolerates them because he enjoys the security of being married while he goes out and cheats. I always find these articles interesting because I think meeting “the one” and getting married is all about luck. I think some people just get lucky….it’s nothing about them that makes them more suitable for marriage then the next…and a lot of men get to the point that when they’re ready to get married they go looking and if you just happen to be the one he came across when he was ready…you get the ring….in other cases some dudes are pressured into it.   It’s weird…you have these articles telling single women what they should and should not do in order to not be single anymore but men marry sluts, bitches, gold diggers, mentally unstable, lazy (and anything else you can throw in) women everyday. There are many people I’ve come in contact with and once I found out they had a spouse I thought to myself, someone married them? So apparently you don’t have to be anything special to get the ring….but staying married seems to be more difficult.

    1. Of course there are Men who marry and even prefer a large woman. If a woman prefers to wait for that type of man then so be it. I do think that most would agree that this is not the norm. They would also agree that a more physically fit women (she can be thick and fit or small and fit) is likely to find more suitors. There are also other factors that go into play and they are all not positive ones. I agree with some of your points but as you stated you may have a man who just jumps on the next woman available and she gets lucky. Unfortunately that luck will not keep her happy or create a long lasting fulfilling marriage. So I still feel a woman who addresses the issues pointed out in Part 1 & 2 of this article not only increases her ability for the “best man” to find her, but also for her to have a great and healthy relationship.

  31. These are all very interesting. The bottom line is that people are single not just based on their personalities but where they are in life. I wasnt ready for a good woman until I was about 24. Going through engineering school and learning life, I had no time. Besides, most people have no clue what a good relationship should look like because they came from a broken home. 

  32. I liked this article, because it started with Good women, in inverted commas. So, lets take a step back. Why are Good Women, classed as women that are educated, or in high powered positions. They including myself, seem to deemed as Good women. Also, if you have a good figure, and money in your pocket you fall into this category. But, these are not the women who have the “Good Men”.  Most of the ones, I see, are the ones, who have nothing to offer – are overweight, educated only by paper, and lacking in personalities, and drive. These are the ones, that are classed as good catches or wife material. Faithful, loyal and deserving……..I say we look too much for justification on, where we are in life. Not everyone will get married, someone has to be the single mother, someone has to get married more then once, someone has to have no children and someone has to be single all their life. It is just the way it is, if it happens so be it……..if not just enjoy life, it is too short!

  33. Nttell

    eh, this did not his “home” with me….Im not ashamed to admit when I am off the mark…but this list certainly doesn’t fit me.  Maybe I am automatically disqualified to be coupled up since I “choose” not to have sex before marriage.  The other way around is old and played out.  I will just take that risk of not being as “skilled”….all skills are “learned” anyways. 

  34. Mark

    with so many women nowadays that have such an attitude problem and play very hard to get, that would be two very good reasons. another real good reason is that now many women are making a lot more money than many men do, and are looking for the ones with a very large bank account instead. 

  35. JAY

    women are not looking for us straight men anymore like they once did, and it seems that many of them like being single today. i am a good man that is trying to find love again, especially after a divorce that wasn’t my fault at all. she was the one that cheated on me and i was a very caring and loving husband, and i was very committed to her as well. more and more women today are not committed like they were years ago, and the ones that are straight like to have a different boyfriend each day of the week. i would certainly like to have a love life again, since i was very faithful with my wife at the time. for me, being single and alone again sucks. when i go out i seem to meet the wrong women, and many of them have an attitude problem and are so very hard to start a conversation with. there are now much more women into other women today, and that certainly makes it a lot harder for us serious men now.

    1. Don’t get discouraged Jay. Just understand that there are plenty of women that don’t fall under the categories you mentioned. Also be willing to embrace the fact that we all have room for improvement and maybe there are some things you can address on your end. Your divorce was unfortunate but don’t hold on to that negative energy. Take a positive approach and I am confident you will see more positive results.

  36. Lauren

    A man should never call a woman a bitch no matter if she acts like one or she doesn’t. It just shows that probably a relative in his family always call bad names to a woman. A woman don’t need to wear 50 lbs of make up to look and feel beautiful. A woman don’t need to look and dress up like a trophy wife to impress. A true man will love her for who she is not what she wears. Not all women are gold diggers but there are some men (not all) are gold diggers. Because now a days women have professional careers and are making more money than men so they would hook up with these women for money. It goes for both ways. The article that you wrote seems you are not happy and you are complaining about women. It is the same for women complain about men. I think you have so much negative inside and out. I’m not saying in a offense way. 

    1. In my opinion there is a difference between calling a woman a b**ch and stating the she is acting like one. The article doesn’t say anything about having to wear make up. It also makes no mention of dressing up like a trophy wife. I don’t see why you would argue against making yourself presentable but that is your opinion. The article never said all women are gold diggers. It pointed out that being a gold digger is one of the reasons some women still find themselves single. You say it goes both ways, so did you notice that in the very first sentence there is a link to an article I wrote on this topic for men? Which by the way was written before this one was. Also there are 12 reasons, this only states 1-6. Have you read 7-12? Disagreements and different perspectives are always welcomed but make sure you have taken a moment to get the whole picture. I understand I came off harsh on this and I apologize if it has offended you. If you read the first paragraph of this article highlighted in red I made sure to point out why I did this. So this wasn’t about negativity within me. These six reasons are legitimate issues that are hindering many single women. For those that don’t fall under any of the first six, they will likely find themselves in 7-12. I hope you take a look at them and feel free to share your thoughts. 

  37. MARK

    women are the ones that are very picky when it comes to dating men, and what confuses me they will go out with the ones that treat them so very rotten. i am a good straight man looking to find love again, especially after a divorce. i was a very good, loving, and caring husband that never mistreated her, and was very committed to her too. she was the one that cheated, and this hurt me very much. now being single and alone again is very hard on me, and i seem to meet the very nasty women now instead of a good one. it is bad enough going to work, and then have to come home to an empty house with nobody there. i hate going out as it is since many women today have become so very nasty to meet like i have said. it is very hard for me to start a normal conversation with them, and they just will walk away from me. where in the world are the good women like we had years ago?

    1. there are a lot of great women so don’t let these bad experiences discourage you. I am sorry to hear how things went with your marriage. Make sure you have truly healed from your divorce. You don’t want to carry that negative energy with you into any potential relationships. Remain confident and assertive. Understand that many of the women that act nasty are simply women who have also been hurt and have their guard up. Continue to take a positive approach and you will start to see positive results.

  38. JIM

    it is pretty much their fault, since women have become to damn picky today. and it is bad enough that many of them seem to be attracted to the ugly men away, especially that they are losers. that show you that women are really not that educated anymore, and are really going after men that have money, ugly or not. and now that many women have such an attitude problem, they are the ones that are the real LOSERS anyway.

  39. Andrewdav23

    u need to prayer to God so he can help us ok. prayer like this Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for your word which brings understanding and purpose into my life. Thank you for the gift of faith that grows as I study your word. I ask you to bring to my memory your truth that is stored in my heart that will give me the victory i need today

  40. Cocopuffsatl2

    wow! those r the reason black men r single. they tend to this those things of black women.  my theory(proven fact) is there is not enough of good black men who wants to be married to go around. and u have to be a black women to exp. this.  black women need to give different races a chance. and they will find that other races dont have preconceived theories before they get to know them.

    1. I have a feeling you only read the first 6 and not all 12. I feel if you finish reading you may change your position on this a little bit.

  41. DELK

    Seriously? GOOD women are single by choice.

  42. Very good !!    We live in Misandry society so …ladies you have to ask us out . Women have all the power now . 90% of all homeless people are all men . Who lives longer ? Women do .   Family courts have bean raping men for years . Men paying alimony for life . Why ?  There is so much Paternity Fraud going on . DAN and rape kid testing should be mandatory .   Like in the European country’s  .    make sense ,yes ?    So much  Falls Rape Charges  going on . WE all saw the latest on Brine Banks case right ? 5 years in jail for nothing !!!! She lied and walked a way . Google it an will see what is going on in USA  . Its discousting what the feminists are doing to men in America .  !!  That’s a Democracy ?  Where is UN ? Where ? 2 million men in jails in US ,mostly black ??    Travesty !!  Thanks  Obama . Michael is the president ,we all know that .  Travesty really .

  43. Nikkib

    Hi stephan, why do women stay with men who constantly cheat. Part 2 why do these men stay in the relationship if they are not happy.

    1. Stephan Labossiere

      Many times the woman stays because she is afraid to leave. Afraid to start over. Afraid to be alone. She may have even convinced herself that she can’t do any better than this. There are a lot of different reasons why a woman will stay with a consistent cheater…In many cases the man stays because the relationship is convenient. He may not be completely happy with that woman but if she is going to allow constant cheating then he may just take advantage. Some men are also afraid to walk away despite how unhealthy things are. Again there are many different reasons.

    2. Many times the woman stays because she is afraid to leave. Afraid to start over. Afraid to be alone. She may have even convinced herself that she can’t do any better than this. There are a lot of different reasons why a woman will stay with a consistent cheater…In many cases the man stays because the relationship is convenient. He may not be completely happy with that woman but if she is going to allow constant cheating then he may just take advantage. Some men are also afraid to walk away despite how unhealthy things are. Again there are many different reasons.

  44. Interesting point made, I’m a female and I understand that building a relationship takes time and my spouse and I have both put in the work and effort to make it work. I see all the down falls and mistakes that most single women have made and I always wanted to avoid those situations. I can honestly agree that these pointers are true for women that fall under those particular categories.

  45. Anna

    Reality is men are too shallow and some started watching way too much porn way too young and are suffering from the side-effects of that and are sleeping around no woman wants a slag of a man either.
    I’m a single woman and I have done great things and I am still single the above sounds like misogynistic drivel because none of them represent how any women behave in real life in fact Stephan you sound like a know-it-all and your advice sucks you haven’t even considered the possibility that a woman could be seeking her true soul and is passionate enough to seek that.

    1. Okay Then

      You know, I’ve learned to read in between the lines with women. Basically what you’re saying is that you’re pissed that your vagina doesn’t magically do all the work right now, and that they aren’t begging to sleep with you just for your looks. Ofcourse, if he doesn’t crawl for you just for that reason, he’s a ‘slag of a man’.

  46. Anna

    These reasons could be all wrong because there is bound to be people with these traits that are in relationships anyway. There are definitely people with poor talents and skills that are in relationships as we speak. Self-centred, bitter, unhappy, pessimists, moody, insensitivity, psychopathic you name it etc
    The point I am making is that there are probably even people who are married with these bad behaviour traits and just possibly there are perfect people with great personality traits who are in fact single.
    Why do singletons have to be the ones to be labelled as having something wrong with them just for being single, did it occur to you that just maybe that couples could be abusers, murderers, cheaters, pedo’s, sluts, unstable, disrespectful, lairs, beaters, players in relationships.

  47. Anna

    You reasons are not good enough you are assuming the worst from singletons and are not thinking about it logically enough.

  48. blahblahblahthisarticleisshit

    So number 6…mmmmm so don’t go out and have sex, wait until marriage but then have all the skills yeah man

  49. Jim

    most of the women today are certainly not very good to meet at all for many of us guys that are still looking, especially the way that they have changed over the years.

  50. Kim Dobbins

    Just by looking at the first six reasons I can understand why some good women are still single in fact one of them I can identify with. Thank you can't wait to read the other six…

  51. None of these 6 are qualities in "good women"
    Maybe some single cause we wanna b 🙂 Ijs

  52. Very true and also we have this i am independent i do not need anyone mentality, i agree and i can speak for myself for why i am single. So i can say now i am not one o those that wonder the proof is right there. We as women have to start embracing change, began to pray more and love within and others. And stop acting and start being honest that we do desire love but may not know how to love .

  53. LaRonda Paden

    Lovin it; not offended at all…

  54. True

    Good women are single by choice.

  55. RealityCheck

    It is very hard nowadays to meet a woman that isn’t Stuck Up.

  56. Does it matter?

    Could be you’ve just come out of a long relationship and want a rest. Mine just wanted to act like a teenager all the time, a fifty six year old teenager. Which is ok if you’re prepared to put up with all the attention seeking mood swings. Women like men, grown up ones.

  57. SoRightAndNeverWrong

    Then there are so many of us good men that are still single looking for love which it is very hard Connecting with the right good woman today.

  58. TheTrueAnswer

    Well now that so many women today are very high maintenance, independent, selfish, spoiled, greedy, and very money hungry, it really explains why many of us Good men are still Single now. Many of these Career women today will Never go with a man that makes much Less money than they do which makes it very sad.

  59. Really

    Well many women nowadays are choosing their Careers over us Good men, especially the very money hungry ones.

  60. Georgia

    I didn’t have an bad attitude, I don’t blame men for everything il (expect for abusive relationship, I don’t think my look Wil Cary me beauty fades, I make my own money and don’t want men’s money I just want his quality time, I keep myself up natural make up rarely at all, walk, eat right, talk to myself right (most of the time), sex I have had sex too soon and have waited.
    Yet I’m still single.
    I’m tired of going on a date and getting asked why I’m haven been married,
    Like being single is an curse.
    So still not doing majority of those, I’m still single.
    Being told I’m too nice by men, so men really don’t want goo women.

  61. Mike

    The women today have really changed for the worst of all making love so much harder to find for so many of us single guys still looking and hoping. And back in the old days most women never cared about looks and wealth that most of these very pathetic women are looking for today.

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