lick it foreplay black couple intimate

You Gotta Do More Than Just Lick It!

How To Get A Woman To Have Sex With You…If You’re Her Husband – Chp. 4 Book Excerpt

RULE#2: Foreplay is not limited to right before having sex!

We men have got to understand that women are not like us, and therefore it can be a longer process getting her in the mood. The 10 minutes or less of messing around pre-sex isn’t always going to cut it. Look at it like this, men are like standard light switches that you can just flick on or off (we pretty much just stay on 24/7), and women are like the switches with the knobs that you have to turn to make the light bright (it’s like a slow turning when we are talking about some women).

There are a variety of ways you can get the process started such as: sending her naughty text messages and emails, rubbing her leg while in the car, doing something nice and meaningful earlier that day, public displays of affection (i.e.: deep kiss, holding hands, rubbing her lower back, etc), and so on. Believe it or not, and this may surprise you, but cleaning the house could really get her going (if you’re typically not the type to do so). Let her come home one day and see you washing dishes (if you’re physically fit, let her catch you with your shirt off cleaning the dishes for a bigger impact), and watch how her eyes fill with a lustful desire to “put it on you.”

So with all that said, understand that you have to start planting seeds as early as that morning, or even the day before. I’m not saying that you should give her a warning in advance that you’re going to want to have sex. I’m saying that you start doing the little things in advance so that by the time you get to the pre-sex workout, her knob will have already been turned, and you just have to finish it off to have her light shining bright. So do things like compliment her, say sexy things to her, and just don’t do anything stupid. I know we don’t like to think ahead, but if you want more action you better put on your military hat and do a pre-emptive strike.

RULE# 3: Oral Sex: Do it Before, During, and After Sex!

…from my book How To Get A Woman To Have Sex With You…If You’re Her Husband

3D Cover HTGWS



  • brigida silva
    Posted at 07:20h, 20 February Reply


    • RelationshipExpert
      Posted at 16:57h, 20 February Reply

      : ) lol

  • Hot Hubby
    Posted at 22:31h, 26 February Reply

    Not all women are wired that way. My wife likes for me to just to give it right to her.

    • RelationshipExpert
      Posted at 23:04h, 26 February Reply

      true, nothing ever applies to all. in the book I do make that point but most men do run into a problem because they have a woman who does want more of what this excerpt addresses

    • Charcharsalon
      Posted at 10:56h, 13 April Reply

      Not true she knows that’s how you like it and she just deals with it if you tried something different she wouldn’t be able to hold it but when its routine there is nothing to talk about

      • StephanLabossiere
        Posted at 20:00h, 13 April Reply

        Very good point. There are many women who fall under that category.

    • Cat
      Posted at 17:25h, 10 May Reply

      I happy to be this kind of girl.. doesn’t take me anymore then a glance because I know it is for me alone.

  • Rich Avery
    Posted at 21:29h, 14 March Reply

    I have a question I see enough books and people talking about what men should or should not do when it comes to women. How come most of this type of stuff isn’t directed towards women? I have seen this my whole life how men are told what they should or should not be doing in a relationship and what our roles are in that relationship. Is it they already know what they are doing I mean i would really like to know because truth be told men seem to just not have it all upstairs. Yet we’ll all say not ALL men but you know regardless of the fact when I hear some or most women talking about men they just say MEN like it’s all of us but they are quick to say not ALL women hmmm how ironic.

    • RelationshipExpert
      Posted at 22:26h, 15 March Reply

      honestly I think there is more being said about what women should do, the problem is what is being told to the women in my opinion isn’t completely accurate. If more emphasis is on what men should do I would say it is because so much more goes into how to keep a woman fulfilled and happy. Less can be written for what we need. Now i do have a 2nd book that will be directed at what the women need to do but I personally decided to start with men because I do feel we need to do better. I agree with you that a lot of women are quick to say Men like it is all, but even quicker to say something does not apply to all women. i honestly feel both sides are lacking a true understanding of what they need to be doing in a relationship and how to properly fulfill their roles. We just have to focus on how we can be better individuals regardless of what others are doing. as long as we continue to focus on others more than ourselves we will struggle with having the type of relationships we all deserve.

      • Linda F Williams MSW
        Posted at 15:01h, 22 December Reply

        Never better said, Stephan; never better said.  It’s the INDIVIDUAL internal growth process that leads to better relationship outcomes; the most important of which is being in the right, healthy, relationship with the RIGHT person.  

        When caught up in our defenses, we are morphed into the opposite of what God created us to be…what we NEED to be to realize and fulfill purpose, mission, and destiny.  Our true mate is matched with our True Self.  Your True Self is who God created; not what life has twisted into what I call, Fake-Enstein, a pieced together conglomerate of the rotten mess of those who mistreated or hurt us. We internalize the wrong as if its us!  We become what the wrongdoers were.  

        With respect to women, rightfully, most of it has to do with their own internal growth.  The male/female relationship issues, though, should, indeed be forthcoming from more women.  That will be the focus of my 2nd book!

        Professor, Linda F. Williams, MSW

        • Seriously?!
          Posted at 23:06h, 02 April Reply

          Wow!! Ok Linda i’m on board with this and I’d love to read your book. I believe you should give what you expect to get in return. I use to use excuses as to why things weren’t going right in my life and not having the things I was suppose to have. Then I realized I wasn’t designed to struggle!! Linda you are 100% internal growth is the key! It’s just so easy to blame others for our failures or why things aren’t happening or have happened. Well growing up in church putting GOD first MATTERS! just my thoughts.

          • Linda F. Williams
            Posted at 00:37h, 03 April

            Seriously?! you are right on time. The book has been out for less than a month and I would be honored if you would go to and view the short trailer. If you are interested, the book is a quick, insightful, and entertaining read. Just Google “Whose Apple is it, Anyway!” to find the reviews! Keep me posted on your progress…. Just look under the Contact Us tab at the website! Thanks!

      • Seriously?!
        Posted at 23:11h, 02 April Reply

        Hey I just hit the up arrow but there isn’t know AWESOME EPIC LIKE BUTTON! I was blessed to have an amazing mother and father and feel that I am fortunate that I didn’t turn out like most of these men that women have issues with. I happen to find someone who actually communicates and is not into the woman is always right…Stephan think I got a keeper here!! 😉 It is so true I have missed out on so many blessings. The key to living a stress free life is putting it all in GOD’s hands from personal experience it really works! 🙂 You the MAN!!

        • Guest
          Posted at 00:37h, 03 April Reply

          Seriously?! you are right on time. The book has been out for less than a month and I would be honored if you would go to and view the short trailer. If you are interested, the book is a quick, insightful, and entertaining read. Just Google “Whose Apple is it, Anyway!” to find the reviews! Keep me posted on your progress…. Just look under the Contact Us tab at the website!

  • cookupgenius
    Posted at 14:20h, 28 March Reply

    What I’ve learned more important than trying to point out what a woman needs to do I MUST do what God has sent me to be. You get what you choose & allow. Accountability seems to be a lost virtue. If we can’t be honest and operate with integrity, what is the standard? Men: if u are can’t receive accountability then u aren’t ready for authority and if u aren’t ready for authority you can’t expect submission. SALUTE!

    • RelationshipExpert
      Posted at 15:00h, 28 March Reply

      You are on the money CookUpGenius. We men have to do better and hold ourselves accountable for being the men we need to be. “Men: if u are can’t receive accountability then u aren’t ready for authority and if u aren’t ready for authority you can’t expect submission.” that is an excellent line, much respect.

  • Pooblyshus39
    Posted at 22:02h, 05 April Reply

    You Gotta Do More Than Just Lick It!.lol.Public displays of affection!, Rubbng her lower back.WHAT! Catch you with your shirt off cleaning the dishes for a bigger impact ..lmbo.Where did you come from! I cannot BELIEVE THIS!!..Loving it:-)~smile~

    • StephanLabossiere
      Posted at 09:11h, 06 April Reply

      lol I’m glad you are loving it Pooblyshus39 : ).  

  • Lynnhan77
    Posted at 00:42h, 25 May Reply

    Wow!!! Thanks my 37 year old husband of 13 years is upstairs playing play station 3 n I just text him the entire paragraph along with a pic of my partially naked body….I’m hopeful n waiting on a gesture ANY GESTURE!!!

    • StephanLabossiere
      Posted at 13:14h, 25 May Reply

      I’m really hoping you received that gesture. I like the straight forward approach of sending the text and the picture, good job : ).

  • Linda F Williams MSW
    Posted at 14:54h, 22 December Reply

    DUDE! You’re going to have them all over your married behind!  LOL!  Very well and succinctly stated, my friend!

  • Terrill S. Charming
    Posted at 22:05h, 31 March Reply

    The most important thing you can do is open up and be honest. What works for some doesnt work for all. Get an idea of what gets her going and what actually is effective. Nothing worse than getting oral sex from someone who thinks they are doing a good job, when in fact, they ARE NOT! Communication as always is key.

  • Cheryl
    Posted at 12:08h, 22 May Reply

    …what about, “how to get your man to have sex with you.” How about that?

  • Shani
    Posted at 23:36h, 09 February Reply

    Errrm so what happens if this is in reverse mode? 😀
    Im the go getter and its my husband that needs planting seeds for in the morning.. Lol its pretty frustrating considering I as the woman is supposed to be the more sensitive, sex/wary one. And, hes black, meaning he has talked up sex since before we were married and now I have to be the one asking for it. Just, wrong. Lol

    • FDR2
      Posted at 05:10h, 19 March Reply

      Black guys I’ve found love sex you must not be doing something he wants/needs to start with.

  • Melissa Velasquez
    Posted at 08:26h, 13 February Reply

    What i would give for u to do a private meeting with my partner n I…. both of us are just can't get it right #SeriouslyChallengedInAllLoveAspects

  • Bossladysat Lovingtheskinimin Spears
    Posted at 03:10h, 19 March Reply

    I wish more men put more of a thought into making love instead of just sex!!! That's all a "WIFE" wants from her husband!

  • Delisa's Delights
    Posted at 04:17h, 19 March Reply

    I love every word.

  • FDR2
    Posted at 05:08h, 19 March Reply

    I love this# I am without a partner and have been for over5 Years (my choice as there don’t seem to be any good ones out there. Where r
    Are they all hiding?

  • cwwindley
    Posted at 06:38h, 19 March Reply

    I can honestly say that dirty text messages do nothing for me. They are a turn off to me and i find them quite disgusting. Most men that do that are filthy perverts and they do this constantly with other women behind their wives back. I say this bc it is a biggie in our world today and i went through the pain of it all. So this is more for the husbands benefit than the wifes benefit.

  • Bhrenda Drakeford
    Posted at 08:33h, 19 March Reply

    I know that I am a 57 chevy. I need a lot of warming up to get me to run at top performance.

  • Chris Hines
    Posted at 03:33h, 20 March Reply

    I never knew that cleaning up could get me some. Lol. I will definitely be going to work.

  • Linda Thiessens
    Posted at 07:57h, 06 November Reply

    Its nice to have somewhere to find new things,should be more sites like this. Thanks

  • Philisse Grayson
    Posted at 04:15h, 25 December Reply

    Thank you for telling men this

  • Andrine Toussaint
    Posted at 13:54h, 10 July Reply


  • Karla McCoy-Lewis
    Posted at 02:04h, 11 July Reply


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