3 Reasons Why a Man Shouldn’t Chase After a Woman

“Men are supposed to be the hunters” is what a lot of people will say. According to these people it is your job as a man to initiate the pursuit of a woman, and to put in maximum effort to show her you want her. To some extent I completely understand that perception, but it can reach a point where it becomes flawed.

A man should definitely be willing to do his part in the process of finding a good woman. However, he should not have to chase after any woman. So much wrong can occur for a man by over doing his pursuit to get to know someone, and create a relationship with them. This doesn’t mean every situation ends with negative results, but here are three reasons why in most cases it, chasing after a woman should be avoided.

A Thin Line Between Desire & Desperation

Everybody likes to feel desired. There is absolutely nothing wrong with showing someone you want them and truly want to be with them. However, there is a line that gets crossed when your pursuit turns into chasing. At first it may not seem too bad, but as mentioned in the book He Who Finds A Wife,  a man will eventually start to look desperate (thirsty), and women do not find that attractive. As a man you to find the right amount of showing effort and desire, without taking things unnecessarily too far. If a woman isn’t receptive to your efforts, then she likely just isn’t interested. If she does have some interest, but thinks a man is supposed to chase after her, then take heed to what’s next on this list.

A Sign Of Trouble To Come

How you start can be exactly how you finish. When finding yourself in the position of chasing after a woman, you have to understand what you may be setting the stage for. If you succeed in getting her, are you prepared to have a dynamic where you are constantly expected to make more of an effort than she is? If not, then you may want to pump the brakes on this chasing thing. I am in no way saying this is how it always plays out for a man who chased after a woman, but it certainly is how things go for a lot of men who have. Many have found themselves in a relationship or marriage where the burden of effort is constantly placed on them, while the woman gets to take a wait and see approach. This only leads to bigger issues and more frustration later. A scenario you really will not want to deal with.

An Unnecessary Distraction

You know when you chase something, you become very focused on it. At times the desire to catch what you’re chasing will start to consume you. This is not going to be in your best interest. When you are chasing after a woman you have now taken your eyes off the bigger prize, which is your growth as a man. You will be so caught up in trying to find ways to get her, that you may essentially lose yourself in the chase. To make matters worse, if she isn’t truly the one for you, then you are only hindering your ability to receive the one who is. So one way or another you will now be getting in your own way, and if that chase doesn’t get you what you wanted, then you’ll likely end up hurt, damaged, and deflated from the process.

Ultimately you are better served staying focused on what you need to do in your life. If she is interested, then let her meet you half way. If she can’t do that, then she is either not ready, not interested enough, or simply looking to take advantage of your desire for her. Continue to work on being the best man you can be, and in doing that, you will be able to attract the woman who is truly best for you….and you won’t have to chase her, because you two will be running towards each other to build a great and special relationship.

Go and get your copy of the book He Who Finds A Wife today below:

==> He Who Finds A Wife ebook

==> He Who Finds A Wife paperback

CLICK HERE to watch this VIDEO, and subscribe to my YouTube Channel

  • FrankWonder
    Posted at 22:24h, 28 August Reply

    Great advice.

  • KT
    Posted at 22:49h, 29 August Reply

    I think if a woman is interested then yes we should let a man know, BUT, this concept of a man thinking he does not have to chase after you can lead to just downright laziness on his part, and depletes some of the romance. It’s like he is doing a tic for tac approach and I can’t stand that

  • Sherendon
    Posted at 16:48h, 24 August Reply

    Thanks Stephan. I’m glad men are also receiving sound advice. I think illustrating the difference between chasing and tastefully pursuing with wisdom is also helpful. There will be times where more effort and a more direct approach is necessary and a lot of people don’t know what that looks like.

  • Eric Williams
    Posted at 14:05h, 27 November Reply

    This is a cluster F*** of an issue because in today’s world a man is damned if he does or doesn’t pursue. The issue is always about control and today women feel like they are in more control and thus hold out for “something better”. They are constantly judging, assessing, seeing if you can play the part in their self directed production called My Life As A Queen. She’s producing, directing and of course wrote the entire production and you are auditioning for a key role in her play. This is the fundamental psychology of women today. There is no WE only ME in their minds, and a man is mostly judged by his looks and his status. If I was high up on the social pyramid, I would have more options and be auditioning more than once. Since I have the looks, I do receive opportunities to audition but the judgement feeling I get only turns me off. Don’t be fooled, its about a generation of women, and not the way it will always be, but they are shallow, selfish, and delusional. When they hit fifty and find themselves divorced and alone, they will blame everyone but themselves, because the director is always right. Just look at your single female relationships who are past forty and listen to their words. They will tell you if you listen. You don’t even need to ask.

    • Ronda S
      Posted at 11:22h, 03 January Reply

      What you’re speaking of is exactly how men treat women and have been so for years. Women just decided to catch up and play around.

Post A Comment