why good men are single

TOP 12 Reasons “Good Men” Are Single

So, I recently had the opportunity to read a blog that listed 12 reasons good men are single. No disrespect to the author, but I was extremely disappointed after reading it. “Why?” you ask, because out of the twelve things listed only one had anything to do with the men themselves. I mean really, how can you put so much blame on women for your inability to find a mate. Don’t get me wrong, there are many ways that women contribute to the problem. I am simply saying that there has to be a higher level of personal accountability involved. So with that said, here are my Top 12 Reasons A Good Man Is Single:

1. You’re too soft

Yeah you have a good job, yeah you’re a good-looking guy, and yeah you open doors and all that sweet stuff. That’s great, and I applaud you for all those things. But at the end of the day, no woman wants a punk, and if you have not learned to balance cherishing your woman as well as putting her in check when she disrespects you, then you will continue to be a lonely punk…I’m just trying to help.

2. You lack ambition

So men seem to think that because they are the good guys, this means that mediocrity in other aspects of their lives should be accepted. Don’t get me wrong, some women have ridiculous (at least in my eyes) expectations, but some of you “good men” don’t expect enough out of yourselves. It doesn’t matter what your line of work is, show the drive to do better and be better and you will quickly attract more women.

3. You’re easily intimidated

Just because she has a lot going on for herself and portrays the “independent woman syndrome” (I will save the elaboration for another post) does not mean you need to feel insecure and start trying to prove yourself in ways that end up coming off as lame and annoying. Also, a lot of “good men” feel challenged by a woman who can do for herself and they back away at any sight of assertiveness on her end. MAN UP! If you know you’re a good man then just be you and she will figure it out. Assert yourself and watch how well that works.

4. You lack confidence

This goes with #3. A lot of guys that are “good men” do not have the confidence it takes to keep a woman. Women love confidence, and if you don’t have it then don’t expect to have her. That confidence actually plays into #1 & #2 on this list as well. You can’t blame women for not believing in you when you can’t believe in yourself. Get it together man!

5. You have no personality:

Your good job can buy you a lot of things, but it can’t buy you a good relationship. You will have some women who can tolerate you, but you won’t be able to keep her if you have not developed skills like: good conversation, making her laugh, and (not that I’m promoting this but…) good sex. Your nice guy, good job, blah blah blah can only take you so far. Become more well rounded and you will become more desirable and be able to keep the women that your money may attract.

6. You’re just not that attractive

I am not trying to be mean, but let’s be honest. Many “good guys” just aren’t always the best looking. There is hope though. If you can conquer the other 5 things on this list, and do a good job a grooming yourself, getting in shape, and having some style, you will easily become so much more attractive. Women are turned on by many non-physical attributes so take advantage of what you can control and you will no longer have to deal with this issue.

These are my first 6 reasons, in no particular order of importance. Not every “good guy” has all these issues, but typically one of these things may be present. Don’t be so quick to blame women for your singlehood if you have not properly addressed the things that you can control. For those that don’t fall under any of these reasons, I will cover their potential issues in my following 6 reasons when I post (click title) Top 12 Reasons Good Men Are Single Part 2. I look forward to shedding more light on this, and in the meantime, don’t forget to like my Facebook Fan Page: Stephan Labossiere and take a look at my site Relationship Expert…

Related Article: 12 Reasons “Good Women” Are Single

  • Schnitzer02

    After more than twenty years married to a woman’s jealous of you singles! Irgendwan it is enough! I think I’m single again as soon as possible too!

    • Anonymous

      Don’t look at it that way. There are many singles that are jealous that you have been married for 20yrs. Maybe the marriage just needs a tune up and then you can enjoy it to the fullest

  • KimahD

    Hit the nail on the head. I’m sick of hearing the same ol excuse all young chicks go after thugz and famous people and don’t give the “Regular guys” a chance

    • RelationshipExpert

      Well there is some level of truth to that lol but I agree it is more to it than that. : )

  • Cali Mango

    Nice article!I totally agree with #1 I can’t stop LOL at “Lonely Punk”….ツ

    • StephanLabossiere

      : ) Thank you very much

  • Cece

    I love it!

  • Tyga_style

    This is fodder for chicken-heads, no disrespect. Maybe the broads you speak of aren’t worth the aggravation and need to get life’s priorities straight. The women who would agree with this aren’t for me-too shallow for my taste; these women out here already used up, ran-thru, umpteen kids already and catch match what an actual good man brings to the table. Basically, they’re looking for either a symp or an idiot. Women feel like they can be screwed up & yet make unattainable demands of a man. They can keep that for the suckers. And put them in their place? That sounds like more childish drama. Adults don’t put each other in their places, they discuss and resolve their issues.

    • StephanLabossiere

      So you genuinely don’t feel that there is truth to any of this. Is it fair to say the woman is shallow because one of these traits turn her off to that man? Also did you read all 12 reasons, because I know some people are put off by the first 6 but then they become more receptive when the read the last 6. Now I agree that many women “feel like they can be screwed up & yet make unattainable demands of a man”. I also like you last statement and can not disagree with it. Though I do believe that even with two very mature and loving adults, you may find that moment where the man will have to assert himself and in essence “put her in her place”.

      • karuna

        your whole website and attempt to boilerplate the whole relationship game is a joke….which in turn, makes you a joke, sir.

      • Nick

        The women who’ve rejected me are crazy, fat single moms now. They picked losers because they are losers. No complaint they had about me holds water. Look at how high the divorce rate is and how miserable most women in the US are. American is second on the worst nationality of partners list. It’s an issue of a bad picker, not us good men.

  • Investblount

    Men are single because they want to be, point blank period…. Nobody wants a wife anymore just something to screw until they get tired

    • StephanLabossiere

      not every man wants to be single, and trust me there are plenty of men who would like to find a wife

      • Biga12

        To hell with a wife, give me a year round football season, government funded strip clubs, and a ps3.

        • StephanLabossiere


        • Suejag3

          Yes, please, keep expecting more things you didn’t earn.  They’ll for sure make you more of a stand-up guy than you are already.

          • fugugoole

            You don’t actually think he cares, do you? Women tend to seek responsibility and Social Status, men tend to seek the barely minumum responsibility required to attract women. That guy is obviously MGTOW, why are wasting your time trying to talk him down?

        • Cee Jay

          I’m glad men like you know better than to not be single.

        • Callie

          What happens when u grow old lol you can’t play PS4 , no young women’s will like u and u be alone in a hospital home or just alone

          • Salman Khan

            Seriously, not everyone wants to die old and ragged also. Yes I agree with Biga12. Not everyone wants to play the shitty and tiring games of love, if it had only given them depression and suffering. It’s much better then to kick it aside and get on with your life.

        • PK


      • karuna

        yea and the men who don’t want to be single don’t have a backbone and are the needy ones. Anyone who can role single is Alpha and a ‘man.’ Doesn’t need anyone to make them feel complete. Big difference.

    • Calli

      Yeah and that’s why there are more womens than men and that was why birth is declining and more disease. Like we are under attack or world population. More fuck boys and Sluts meaning more diseases and more death. That’s why females live longer because males lack healthy living lol because y’all put yourself at risk, high death and high stress and high drinking and drugs and wreakless driving and high diseases.

  • Sweet girl

    I feel there are good men and sometimes the good men dont realize they are.  Some are pigs too yes I know one.  He plays many women and also wants one by his side on his bed and then wants more from somewhere else while his woman is working.. That is so wrong if men want to play do it by yourself.. Your not getting anywhere but giving yourself a bad rep… Im a good woman and I do respect

    • Batman5825

      Sweet Girl , then why do women allow themself to be played ? In reality they know for the most part that they are.

      • Anne

        why are you laying the blame on women? I see this all the time. “Dont allow yourself to be used”, “you asked for it, its your fault”, “you put up with it”, etc etc.With some women even being blamed for getting rapedl. A man shouldn’t do it. Period. Stop blaming every fucking thing on women, i think we deal with enough without having that added on top. Men are responsible for themselves. If they want to screw around, fine but dont get a girlfriend and tell the women beforehand, clearly, their intentions. It’s that fucking simple. If men don’t want a woman, don’t get on, don’t have a wife, don’t have kids, no one forces them to do anything.

        • John

          You know how women can take one look at another woman and tell that woman is no good, home wrecking, bad person, etc. We guys can do the same too with other guys, and for some of us more experienced guys, we can do the same for women. That guy who just swept you off your feet and is close to infalliable in your eyes because of his money, pecs, personality, whatever. We can sit back and usually see right through it to the heart of the man, and we know you are going to get played. Society has set up both men and women since the 1970s to be attracted to traits bad partners have, such as arrogance, vanity, narcissism, anti hero/heroine attitude. We confuse those things for confidence, success, and being “smooth”.

        • Chameera Sampath

          God you are too harsh.

          • This is true.

        • rajat bhivania

          When women keep incentivizing bad behaviour they push rest of men to that behaviour. That’s the reason

          • Calli

            You are so dumb. Blaming womens please

      • Calli

        What Anna said don’t fuck with women’s fuck with men’s. Like I swear men’s that just wanna fuck u should fuck your selves and jus the gay because all yeah guys are the same lol that’s why womens change we aren’t the nice ass womens anymore if a man fuck us over we get them back twice as harder. Like that girl that killed that guy and that women that ran that guy over after cheating on her like seriously y’all think womens don’t know shit please we can kill just like y’all can.

  • Colbyj92

    Dude I am a good man, but I dont need a woman right now. Yes I would love to have sex, but with the way people view sex in this world forget about that. Sex is not important, and neither are relationships. I also believe this is somebody who is denouncing their own personality, and trying to project this onto other people. I do have confidence to ask any girl out, but I choose not too because I have my priorities. Second most chick I talk to have a dude they want to be loyal with, or also have priorities. (school). Now if I was looking for some “ratchet” chick, or a porn star yeah I fuck with her. Im not looking to fuck with anyone. I dont see the point. Yeah Im a 20 yr old virgin, but I have my reasons. Listen there is one of your top 6 I can adhere too, but their is an exception to that rule. It’s rule #2 as I have stated before I dont plan on seeking any relationships, and as for sex I can see myself having any girl by the time Im 22. So Im covered there. I lack ambition because I dont see myself trying to be with every cute face I see. I see myself being with who I want to be with. I lack ambition with any girl that isnt feeling me. Now as for #12 that can represent me. I am waiting for one girl, but Im building a relationship (friendship) then seeing where it goes. I see other girls in my future too. 

    • Hey I support your decision to not engage in sex and to focus on other things right now. Truth be told I was also a virgin at 20yrs old so I see nothing wrong with that or your decision to stay on that path. None of that changes the fact that there are men who are single for one or more of the reasons on this list. That doesn’t mean the whole list will apply to one man, just that you would be hard pressed to find a man where at least one of these reasons do not accurately apply to them and their situation. Some guys read this list and get offended, but there is no need for that. We all have shortcomings and we all have issues. So we should be man enough to look ourselves in the mirror and acknowledge what may be hindering us if we don’t to be single. Or recognize what may be contributing to our decisions to remain single so that we may properly communicate that to others and minimize confusion. If the article comes off as an attack, I do apologize for that. Truly it is more of an attempted “wake up” call. We all need that sometimes and that is the true intent of this article. 

    • Daniel

      I agree with everthing you say so far, besides some women are not worth our time whatsoever. Being single is too underrated also, real men are not needy like the ones I see in the college where I work at. I have a concept that says there more obsessed you are with something the more you will strive to get it, because the universe will do everything to stop you from achieving it, I’m not saying to stop chasing women, however is for me to don’t get obsessed with the idea of getting one in order to be happy or accepted by society standards.

  • R.R.B.H.

    I think those are some good reason but I don’t agree that is the reason good man are still single!! It could be that they don’t want a wife or that they just haven’t cross paths with the right person.. then again they just might not want to give up their “player” card!!! but nice reason…

    • I agree with you. The reasons you mentioned are all listed in part 2 (the final six on the list). You can find the link to it in the last paragraph.

    • Calli

      That’s sucks when they grow old how are they going to score because they loose there hot face and we all know it going to be late to choose a women now because all of them or taken are have a lot of kids are just a dirty slut that are about to,die

  • MissMs..

    Any man who disagrees with this may not be That man, but there Are men out here like that. And I still stick to the fact that people Have to consistently check themselves bc Sometimes it Is You. If a guy is still single bc he isn’t ready or not wanting to be with someone then I think that’s probably a different topic. And for Me a Good Man isn’t someone with good credit, but with a Good heart -Good intentions..he also has to love the Lord but thats me.I personally, have experienced the man who exuded all of the above 6 traits..except ugly:) and i stuck it in with him for a little while because I felt he would eventually grow out of those “moments” –and granted I knew this guy from history’s past, I don’t think I would have stuck it in that long for anyone else….I just don’t know if its a confidence thing..I think His family had a lot to do with it –growing up with predominately women situation gone wrong– but it sucks when you’re feeling someone who has gotten used to devaluing just about everything around them-including themselves, stuck in “routine” and still sitting wondering what the problem is. Not meee homeboy. : )

    • Eddie Pena

      the bottom line is that the power in the relationship lies in the one cares the least understand a woman needs you for various reasons while u just need someone to fuck when you want to or have a baby let her think that she has say in matters but don’t let her disrespect you because they are worthless unless for fucking or having children other that what the hell you need them for

  • ‘top’ reason good men are single
    1970’s feminism

  • Mark

    I am currently in a relationship, but I saw this and Had to read it. Because I always wondered why I was single for so long, and I honestly am man enough to admit that about 4 of those applied to me. I am too nice/soft at times. Not towards dudes(I don’t play with dudes, you’ll get checked quick. Lol) but I’m soft with the females I’ve entertained. I do get easily intimidated at times. I work a regular job at a factory, don’t make a lot of money. So when I see a woman with a good job(educator, nurse, nice office job ect) I assume she won’t talk to me because I don’t make as much. Smh and maybe I do have a slight confidence problem do to my financial situation at times. I’m hard-working, have a car, own place, have been told I’m good looking and I keep myself in shape/work out, but I often live check to check. Basically I just need to do better. Thanks for this Post!! My name Is Mark!!

    • Johnny Bravo

      None of them are true buddy. The real reason is I’m not saying all women are like that but the women wants me to live in sin, turn gay or die alone. I get played on many times on women. In the middle east women are great. They love you marry you and stay with you to the end. That’s how real Christian women in my country are.

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  • Pj

    Total bull shit

  • William Kendall

    All this is a lie a lot of women nowadays jus don’t even know what a man is anymore because I am ambitious, I’m not ugly, I have confidence, I’m not a punk and I’ll never be intimidated but some woman for any reason I just feel like people have to wait to find everyone to me is in a rush. I haven’t found that one yet but I’ll never give up hope that just means who God blesses me with is gonna be something and to all the single guys out there jus don’t even worry about it she’s out there jus wait on it because good things come to those who wait. Don’t ever believe what someone tells you believe in your heart what u know what’s right and who’s right for u

    • Johnny Bravo

      I totally agree. I’m just an average guy not good looking nor ugly. Women these days just play games. They say looking for a good man but instead looking for a bad boy, looking for someone to have sex with them so they can tell their friends about it. I’m not saying all women are like that. When a guy gets played on and hits his 40’s then that’s it. The women will say sorry you too old

  • RealityCheck

    Wow, could it just be that with much more women nowadays are very high maintenance, independent, selfish, and very spoiled? Absolutely.

  • God’sHonestTruth

    Well there is a very excellent reason why many of us good men are single today is that with much more women today that are very high maintenance, independent, selfish, spoiled, and very greedy, really speaks for itself since many of us are Not single by choice.

  • SoTrue

    Well with so many women these days that are Not so nice at all to meet which certainly explains it. So it is very obvious why nice guys like us are Single now and always will be.

  • Kenny Junior

    I have no fuckin’ problem with my own self assessments here, nothin’ to do with my own weakness but just my hearin’ disabilities, feel me huh? My dick works just fine with no problem but all horny at times like a motherfucka while I get shot down just bein’ so fluent in my own visual language limited to my verbal quality yet dat has not been attracting to women! Why I have to be in my deaf world findin’ a woman alike me for same hearin’ disabilities for? I prefer goddesses and not women alike me sufferin’ no ability to hear my favorite urban music and shit. Ya know what I be sayin’ ? Besides I got to seek for a woman who is also black beautifully. Damn to my demographic issue in my town where it be hard to find a black woman who may dig my deafness regardless my hearin’ disabilities but to focus my sweet colorful personality I have huh!? Women are fuckin’ too superior to have me to their blindness of real black love while they are not humble to get down with me. They misjudge dis nigga cuz I am still an intellectual attractive guy they yet can handle. Looks like it gonna do with my light skinned face or what!? What da fuck? Lol. How da hell light skinned niggas such as Heavy D, Ice-T, Shemar Moore be havin’ pussies over me!? Cuz they have open ears with their loosen tongue all functionin’! Dat’s why! Got to remind women we livin’ in our imperfect white man’s world! Damn to yo’ list dat ain’t be applyin’ to me!

  • Pingback: Single Women: 12 Reasons (Part 2) - Relationship Expert Advice()

  • Bamboclot44

    regarding the attractiveness issue.. a large number of women are pretty average themselves in looks and do not dress well. In addition i’ve seen a lot of stunning looking women with total loser men in looks or otherwise so that must not be it.

  • The Serious Truth

    We us our Brains.

  • Craig Bowers

    This article is a joke and plays into the standards placed upon people to be in a relationship. If you truly don’t have being in a relationship as your life goal and feel that you get slapped for this, then read this: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/living-single/201009/singlism-what-it-is-and-is-not-and-why-it-should-be-in-the-dictionary

  • Research

    Lmao!!! What a joke…please don’t tell me you have a degree in psychology.

  • Bill

    I’ve never had a relationship I’m 42 and was just not very good at it I’ve done well in business and I’m to busy to worry or care bout the dating life so I just hire prostitutes much easier if I was to be in a relationship or married God would have given me those skills

    • Johnny Bravo

      Same here 😂. I’m nearly 40 and been single since 1997 until now. When guys say hi to women and I’m not sure if this happened to any other guys when saying hi to a woman and she says why saying hi like she’s thinking that guy wants sex. Why good men are still single because not sure all women are like that. They are just fussy or picky looking for a bad boy that can treat her like crap. I know single guys not asking to be single or alone. In my country Iraq where I’m originally from. If you single don’t have a girlfriend then maybe you are sick or gay

  • Pat Riarchy

    According to females, the reason they are single is
    1. The men available are not good enough
    2. Why would a female settle for second best
    3. There are no good men left

    That makes sense to me. It’s all men’s fault. Females demand men treat them equally too.

    A man should love a female no matter what she looks like or how she behaves. If a man can’t love her at her worst then he won’t get the chance to love her at her best. What has looks got to do with love? Obese is beautiful.

    So females must display the same standard they expect of men. So it doesn’t matter what I look like or how I behave because females should love me any way.

    We should NEVER gender stereotype people. Every one is the same.

    Then again, females might just be Liars and Hypocrites. Personally, I don’t like Liars and Hypocrites.

    What can a female offer a man other than a 75% chance she will ruin his life?

  • Fuqugoole

    “You lack confidence” no fucking shit Shirlock. Everyone knows women like confidence, so how do you over come that? Nothing, yeah that’s thought. Fuck you

  • Fuqugoole

    Any discussion of “good men” needs to start with a definition of what “good men” actually means! I noticed you failed to do that.

  • Daniel

    Here is what I think, regardless of what I think about this article or how true it is to me,(I don’t qualify myself as nice guy, I’m mostly a neutral guy in my own perception) one of the reasons why people are single/unmarried are due to lack of interest, if you want something fight for it. Other thing is( In my case) I despise drama, I’m plain emotionless in some situations and women feel disrupted with that.Secondly how do you feel in your own skin, third, feminism and how media portrays bisexual tendencies as good or accepted for women, half of girls/women had rejected me by saying they are lesbian (not sure if they really mean it but that kind of hinder me from having as many sexual partners).And nor more nor least, masculinity is rare among today’s society, (no macho man behavior) we live in a time where everything had been womanized,(disregard to some trauma due to hard childhood or abuse).If anybody read this I really appreciate if you reply, share your comments. (Thumbs up)

  • Wybie Fopple

    I see your good intentions and I appreciate them.

    But nobody who uses the phrase “MAN UP!” to give advice to men is worth listening to. That is not insightful commentary. It’s not compassionate, it’s not sustainable, and it’s not helping men to better their lives. It’s the same old toxic bullshit, and it makes you sound like a small-minded tool.

    If you really want to help men, show them how they are ALREADY good and encourage them to grow.

  • AS

    I am confused why there are only 6 reasons when the article states top 12. So, the problem is with men? I can certainly agree that if one is seeking a mate that these qualities will hold the man back no doubt. On the other hand, what about the men who don’t possess the qualities listed above? What about the men who can get any woman they want? Those, myself included, are good men too. Maybe the good men are tired of the BS they have to deal with. Maybe they are tired of being in the wrong 9/10 times. Maybe they get tired of dealing with the up and down roller-coaster of a woman’s emotions, just to have her apologize to you hours later. Maybe, just maybe, men are tired of being he pack mules in a relationship. I’m NOT saying that men shouldn’t take responsibility, they damn well should as a man. All I’m saying is, maybe “good men” have realized the ROI in a relationship isn’t there anymore for a man. Because, lets be real, a relationship is a business investment. As a business person the ROI is the main thing to look for. Anymore, as a good man, I don’t see the ROI for men in a relationship…or especially marriage.

  • Rob


  • john

    This shit isent helpful!

  • john

    You know what, you’re scumbag boyfriend/husband beats you up and cheats on you, that’s becouse alot of women want their cake and eat it!, alot of women think they can have a man who has lots of money tall dark and handsome(yawn yawn), how tireing is that bullshit!,big car big house and he’s gonna be a nice guy, news for any women reading this 9/10 he’s gonna be a complete asshole, if that’s what you want that’s what you’ll get, you get what you deserve.