why good men are single

TOP 12 Reasons “Good Men” Are Single

EDIT 1/8/2018: I originally wrote this article almost 7 years ago. Looking back I realize that my delivery and tone was not what it should be. I genuinely want my work to be helpful to people, and that approach I had taken was the wrong way to do it. So I have decided to now make some adjustments and make some improvements. The message will essentially be the same, but it’s not what you say, but how you say it. You may still read things you don’t like, or that you disagree with. However it will be spoken in a way to genuinely help you take note of things you may be overlooking.

So, I recently had the opportunity to read a blog that listed 12 reasons good men are single. No disrespect to the author, but I was extremely disappointed after reading it. “Why?” you ask, because out of the twelve things listed only one had anything to do with the men themselves. I’m not a fan of putting so much blame on women or outside factors for your inability to find a mate. Don’t get me wrong, there are many ways that women contribute to the problem you may be facing.  However, I believe in a higher level of personal accountability. Because this way you have the power to make the necessary changes to create better results. So with that said, here are my Top 12 Reasons A “Good Man” Is Single that you may be overlooking:

1. You’re Too Passive

Yeah you have a good job, yeah you’re a good-looking guy, and yeah you open doors and all that sweet stuff. That’s great, and I applaud you for all those things. However, at the end of the day, no woman wants a man she considers “too soft”. You have to learn how to balance cherishing your woman as well as putting her in check when she disrespects you or is in the wrong. If not, you will continue to struggle to find a great woman, or will meet women who just want to take advantage of you.

2. You Lack Ambition

Some men seem to think that because they are the good guys, this means that mediocrity in other aspects of their lives should be accepted. Don’t get me wrong, some women do have ridiculous (at least in my eyes) expectations, but some of you “good men” don’t expect enough out of yourselves. A lack of ambition can be very unattractive, and a huge complaint that women have. It can definitely stunt the potential of a relationship or even destroy a current one. Show the drive to do better and be better in life, and you will quickly attract more women.

3. You’re Easily Intimidated

Just because she has a lot going on for herself and portrays the “independent woman syndrome” (I will save the elaboration for another post) does not mean you need to feel insecure and start trying to prove yourself in ways that end up coming off as lame and annoying. A lot of “good men” feel challenged by a woman who can do for herself and they back away at any sight of assertiveness on her end. Rather than shut down, address any concern you have with this and express yourself in a calm and confident manner. By asserting yourself, she may bring her walls down and allow for a smooth progression. If not, then she just may not be the one for you.

4. You Lack Confidence

This goes with #3. A lot of guys that are “good men” do not have the confidence it takes to attract and keep a woman. Women love confidence, and if you don’t have it then understand that you are shooting yourself in the foot. Go deeper within yourself and indentify what holds back your confidence. Improve on those weaknesses and find ways to maximize your strengths. Also understand that being confident isn’t about getting any woman, but more so about not being afraid or bothered when you can’t get a certain woman. Because no matter who you are, or how awesome you are, everyone isn’t going to like you. Which is fine, because you won’t like everyone either. Just no longer let fear/lack of confidence be what holds you back.

5. You Haven’t Developed A Good Personality

Your good job can buy you a lot of things, but it can’t buy you a good relationship. Good looks will bring you some women who can tolerate you, but you won’t be able to keep her if you have not developed skills like: good conversation, making her laugh, knowing how to have fun, and (not that I’m promoting this but…) good sex. Being a nice guy, having a good job, etc  can only take you so far. Become more well rounded and you will become more desirable. This can help you in business and with women. A great personality is something to strive for.

6. You’re Not Naturally Attractive

I am not trying to be mean, I promise, but let’s be honest. A lot of men who may consider themselves “good guys” aren’t always the best looking. That may sound bad, but the good news is there is hope. There are plenty of ways to make yourself a much more attractive person. Conquering the other 5 things on this list can go a long way. Also do a good job a grooming yourself, getting in shape, and find a style that works well with you. Throw in some good cologne (smelling good can really help). Women are turned on by many non-physical attributes as well, so take advantage of what you can control and you will no longer have to deal with this issue.

These are my first 6 reasons, in no particular order of importance. Not every “good guy” has all these issues, but typically one of these things may be present. Don’t be so quick to blame women for your singlehood if you have not properly addressed the things that you can control first. For those that don’t fall under any of these reasons, I will cover their potential issues in my following 6 reasons (it used to be a separate article but I have now added it below). So let’s continue…

7. You’re Too Focused On Other Things

The reality is that you may be at a point in your life where women and relationships just aren’t a priority. Which is perfectly fine. I honestly believe it is good to have some time where you take those things off the table and focus more on your development and growth. However, don’t lose sight of the very likely scenario where you will get back to or reach a point where those things become important again. Don’t wait to create a life balance that allows you to reach your goals, and create an amazing relationship with a special woman.

8. You’re Not Financially Secure

Despite what kind of financial status others may think you have, you may not always be as financially set as you would like to be. This can create a conflicting desire for a relationship, because a man who genuinely loves his woman wants to be able to provide for her. That honestly in commendable, but know that you don’t need to be “rich” to be open to a relationship. A women who is genuinely into you isn’t looking for you to shower her with gifts. However, she will still want you to be able to take care of the essentials and maybe a little more. So don’t let your financial status stress you out or block you from embracing an amazing woman. Be open and honest about where you stand and keep your eyes open.

9. Your Intimacy Needs Improvement

Being a good man who can love and respect a woman is a great thing. Unfortunately in most cases, it isn’t enough to create and sustain a loving and healthy relationship. A big piece to that puzzle is the ability to satisfy a woman not just sexually, but with your overall intimacy. Kissing, touching, quality time, and sex is very important to nurturing a bond with your partner. There is a lot all men can learn, but those who ignore that will always pay a price and see a lack of success with women. Now some women actually allow themselves to deal with this lack because he is a “good man”. However even if you get her initially, you won’t be able to keep her desire and willingness to please you at a high level without it. Intimacy can be a huge factor in “good men” being single, and not to mention “bad men” having women they don’t deserve.

10. You Have Been Hurt & Haven’t Healed

As many women as there are that carry around emotional baggage from their past, there are many men who do the same. You may be having a hard time getting out of your own way because of the hurt and resentment you have held on to. This creates a huge struggle to conquer your fear of being vulnerable, and giving a woman your heart. You may simply not trust women or you don’t trust love. So you find/create reasons to be single, but the truth is you need to heal from what you experienced. You are only making things worse for yourself in many ways by not addressing your issues which may stem from childhood or romantic relationships. Do yourself a huge favor and embrace the process of healing. Not for the sake of not being single, but for the purpose of being able to live at your true potential.

11. You Want More Than One Woman

Some would argue that this automatically disqualifies you from being a good man. However, I don’t necessarily see it that way. You could be a great man, and knowing your value may have contributed to you getting a little greedy. When you know you are a hot commodity it can become very tempting to take full advantage of this. You don’t want to be in a relationship because you want to be with a variety of women and just have “fun”. As well as keep your freedom to come and go as you please. I get it, and I understand it, but be careful. The reality is at some point you will likely want to settle down. You have to make sure you don’t create any issues in the meantime (i.e. unwanted pregnancies, unnecessary drama, and damaging women). At the very least, be transparent and don’t play any games that can lead to more hurt. Not only for their sake, but yours as well. Because what goes around will come back around.

12. You Haven’t Found “The One”

Unlike a lot of women, most men are not as pressed to find a significant other. Men tend to be much more willing to take their time, and be more particular about who they entertain for a serious relationship. A a desirable man knows he has a lot of options, and is less willing to possibly “sign his life away” with the wrong woman. A lot of women tend to be too ready to jump on any guy with a great resume and think here is her chance to finally settle down. So if your issue is you haven’t found the right one, then that is very understandable. You can meet a lot of good women, but that doesn’t make her the right woman for you. So continue to be patient, but don’t let the length of the process lead you to believe that the right one doesn’t exist. There is a woman you can/will experience a deep and genuine connection with. Just make sure you are truly ready to receive her when she comes, or you may see an amazing opportunity pass you by.

I’m sure there are some reasons that we could swap in and out, but I am confident this list sheds some light on the topic. Main thing to take away from this is be honest with yourself and others as to what your issues may be. Blaming others or outside circumstances does nothing to help you see progress in your life. Many people want to be in a relationship, but if you aren’t right with yourself, it will be very hard to be right for anyone else. Also check out “He Who Finds A Wife” which I believe can be a good resource for you.

Related Article: 12 Reasons “Good Women” Are Single

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  • Schnitzer02
    Posted at 03:05h, 06 February Reply

    After more than twenty years married to a woman’s jealous of you singles! Irgendwan it is enough! I think I’m single again as soon as possible too!

    • Anonymous
      Posted at 08:47h, 07 February Reply

      Don’t look at it that way. There are many singles that are jealous that you have been married for 20yrs. Maybe the marriage just needs a tune up and then you can enjoy it to the fullest

  • Noelthomaservin
    Posted at 11:18h, 21 February Reply

    This Is PURE BULLSHYT! a woman had to have had a hand in composing this dumb shyt

    • RelationshipExpert
      Posted at 15:41h, 21 February Reply

      No need to be disrespectful with the fact that you obviously disagree. How about you shed some light about how this is wrong.

    • Denise333
      Posted at 16:29h, 27 February Reply

      What’s even “dumber” and “PURE B.S.” is someone who can’t SPELL and can’t elaborate their VIEW w/COHERENT SENTENCES. That’s what the TRUE EPITOME of ignorance is.

      • RelationshipExpert
        Posted at 02:18h, 29 February Reply

        All I’m going to do is : ) for that response. Hopefully he comes back to elaborate on what is so wrong about this post.

    • Kim Lott
      Posted at 01:01h, 08 May Reply

      im a single uncle that has went through a horrible experience with a woman but i say that if i didnt go through what i went through i would be a pathethic example what a good man should be surprisingly i was everyone of those individuals and i say that if it wasnt for what ive been through then i would be stuck in beleiving that women are faltless beautys that can do no wrong i had every ambition of settling down at a young age and im 27 now so my singlarities is not a curse but a opportunity to grow and emprove so i do not play the blame game if anything iam am gratefull.

  • Who_yomomma
    Posted at 19:57h, 21 February Reply


  • Mickiejoe
    Posted at 07:16h, 09 March Reply

    Agree or not, here is food for thought…male or female.

    • RelationshipExpert
      Posted at 13:33h, 28 March Reply

      thank you

  • HairByDanni
    Posted at 23:55h, 25 March Reply

    I think the main reason relationship/marriages don’t work is because people aren’t incorporating enough GOD in to their lives.

    • RelationshipExpert
      Posted at 13:34h, 28 March Reply

      I can’t disagree with that : )

    • Guest
      Posted at 17:30h, 02 June Reply

      That Gucci bag is a knock off. Let me be nice and say it’s a “generic” one. Hence, the reason why I think you are trying to live above your means, and try to pretend to be in a social class that you’re clearly not.

  • KimahD
    Posted at 13:05h, 27 March Reply

    Hit the nail on the head. I’m sick of hearing the same ol excuse all young chicks go after thugz and famous people and don’t give the “Regular guys” a chance

    • RelationshipExpert
      Posted at 20:18h, 27 March Reply

      Well there is some level of truth to that lol but I agree it is more to it than that. : )

  • Hotlou79
    Posted at 18:29h, 04 April Reply

    I have to say that #8 and #11 contradict what you are saying. If you can be a good man and not financially support your woman and cheat on her, how n the hell are you sitll lableled a “good man”

    • StephanLabossiere
      Posted at 18:59h, 04 April Reply

      that is one of the points I am trying to get across, you always see people either get labeled a “good guy” or proclaim themselves to be such. what they fail to tell you or recognize is that they fall under one of these reasons which explains how such a “good guy” can still be single. I guess I didn’t express that point clear enough and I may just add to the post so that people can understand where I am coming from. 

  • Single Brotha NC
    Posted at 12:26h, 05 April Reply

    You could have left #7 off…when you say ‘a good man’, its implied that he WANTS a woman, the fact that he’s gay totally eliminates him from the equation. 

    • StephanLabossiere
      Posted at 19:24h, 05 April Reply

      I feel you but that is one of the points I am trying to make. Many people perceive some men as “good men” or some proclaim themselves to be. When in reality the reason why these men are still available is because of one of the 12 reasons in my opinion. Some self proclaimed or perceived “good men” are not open about there homosexuality. The same way that some men are not open about their desire to have multiple women. I hope you get where I am coming from, I know next time I have to do a better job of expressing this in the post itself.

  • T_Mac1981
    Posted at 18:18h, 11 April Reply

    I agree with a lot of what you said here. Personally, I’m #12 and you’re right when you said ‘Good girl doesn’t equal the right girl’ — which a lot of men aren’t able to separate the 2. And, the desire to have sex or lack of it forces the average guy to be relationship when they don’t need to be.

    • StephanLabossiere
      Posted at 20:17h, 13 April Reply

      Thanks T-Mac and you are correct about the sex issue. Remove sex from the equation and there would be a lot less pointless relationships going on. 

  • Cali Mango
    Posted at 17:28h, 17 April Reply

    Nice article!I totally agree with #1 I can’t stop LOL at “Lonely Punk”….ツ

    • StephanLabossiere
      Posted at 10:47h, 19 April Reply

      : ) Thank you very much

  • Cece
    Posted at 09:14h, 21 April Reply

    I love it!

  • Benabenabena
    Posted at 10:33h, 21 April Reply

    When you get with a “good person” that is the wrong one for you, you risk turning them, and yourself, into a “bad person” for everybody else.

    I totally agree w/ u! Been there! I would also like 2 add that the timing could hv been wrong 4 the 2.

    • StephanLabossiere
      Posted at 10:39h, 31 May Reply

      I definitely agree with that. Sometimes it is the “right person” but at the wrong time.

  • Tyga_style
    Posted at 08:43h, 30 May Reply

    This is fodder for chicken-heads, no disrespect. Maybe the broads you speak of aren’t worth the aggravation and need to get life’s priorities straight. The women who would agree with this aren’t for me-too shallow for my taste; these women out here already used up, ran-thru, umpteen kids already and catch match what an actual good man brings to the table. Basically, they’re looking for either a symp or an idiot. Women feel like they can be screwed up & yet make unattainable demands of a man. They can keep that for the suckers. And put them in their place? That sounds like more childish drama. Adults don’t put each other in their places, they discuss and resolve their issues.

    • StephanLabossiere
      Posted at 09:58h, 30 May Reply

      So you genuinely don’t feel that there is truth to any of this. Is it fair to say the woman is shallow because one of these traits turn her off to that man? Also did you read all 12 reasons, because I know some people are put off by the first 6 but then they become more receptive when the read the last 6. Now I agree that many women “feel like they can be screwed up & yet make unattainable demands of a man”. I also like you last statement and can not disagree with it. Though I do believe that even with two very mature and loving adults, you may find that moment where the man will have to assert himself and in essence “put her in her place”.

      • karuna
        Posted at 17:18h, 22 March Reply

        your whole website and attempt to boilerplate the whole relationship game is a joke….which in turn, makes you a joke, sir.

      • Nick
        Posted at 15:44h, 31 October Reply

        The women who’ve rejected me are crazy, fat single moms now. They picked losers because they are losers. No complaint they had about me holds water. Look at how high the divorce rate is and how miserable most women in the US are. American is second on the worst nationality of partners list. It’s an issue of a bad picker, not us good men.

  • Alyssa Mavros
    Posted at 06:47h, 31 May Reply

    I’m not writing this comment to start a big, annoying, internet debate. I’m writing this because I wish that the real “good women”, the smart women, the educated women, the accomplished women, the intellectual women could receive greater recognition than the stereotypical, idiotic, gold-digging women (because yes guys, I know they’re all over the place).

    I’m writing this because I want to bring to light that reason #11 (He Wants More Than One Woman) on this “Why Good Men Are Single” also belongs on “Why Good Women Are Single”. (Except translated as SHE Wants More Than One MAN…unless she’s a lesbian…but you get the point) Yes, you have #9 (You’re Too Busy Enjoying The Single Life), but perhaps you should take into account that there are plenty of genuinely “good women” who are just as aware of the fact that they are a “hot commodity”, who also “have no intention in not taking advantage of this”. Believe it or not, we “good women” are equally as interested in experiencing “variety” and “having fun”. 

    Similarly, we (i’ve made some minor edits from your original writing): “may be good girls, but we might just not be ready or receptive to a commitment right now. Many women feel the need to play the field before they settle down.”
    However, should we choose to engage in promiscuity (which is precisely what you have described in reason #11 on your male list), we are automatically labeled as whores and we are therefore labeled “un-dateable”/”not marriage material”.Hopefully I haven’t come off as too much of a bitch/radical feminist (yuck), but I’ve had a few beers, so my opinions are probably extra strong in this moment. Either way, I hope whoever has actually read this far, has gained somewhat of a new perspective. Cheers to Stella Artois! Time for me to step off my soap box and into my bed…

    • StephanLabossiere
      Posted at 10:44h, 31 May Reply

      The reality is, almost anything on this list, or on the ladies list can apply to people of the opposite sex as well. One reason I don’t specifically speak on a woman wanting various men is because that does not happen as much as it does with men wanting various women. Most women prefer the stability of a relationship.  

    • Guest
      Posted at 17:37h, 02 June Reply

      “LOOSE is a term used to describe a woman with the sexual morals of a man”

      • Alyssa Mavros
        Posted at 04:32h, 04 June Reply

        get help

      • RichFoeva!
        Posted at 00:30h, 31 July Reply

        Morals of a man smh! Gotta be a bitter woman saying that nonsense lol

    • MaxxFlow
      Posted at 03:05h, 30 July Reply

      what your are discribing here is def. not a good woman. Is the same for man as it is for woman, a quality person is fine with himself/herself and does not need to sleep around in order to figure out what he/wants. I personally think you are just a bitter seudo-feminist who wants to act like a man and get treated like a princess. you’re a whore not a good woman. and you might be successful, but at the end of the day, you drink yourself to sleep at night and whist you read blogs on why you’re single.

      • Guest
        Posted at 06:35h, 15 October Reply

        You spelled “pseudo” wrong. It would behoove you to pull that stick out of your ass…and maybe buy a dictionary. Either way, it would definitely be a better use of your time, rather than hiding behind a computer screen, calling an open-minded, modern, and respectable woman a “whore”. Especially when you have no idea who the hell this person is. Like you’ve never had a drink before bed before? Get a life.

    • Kjsadklas
      Posted at 06:01h, 12 September Reply

      she makes a point. “maxx flow”, “guest”, and “richfoeva!” should probably take a second look at their own lives.

  • Investblount
    Posted at 00:24h, 07 June Reply

    Men are single because they want to be, point blank period…. Nobody wants a wife anymore just something to screw until they get tired

    • StephanLabossiere
      Posted at 12:07h, 09 June Reply

      not every man wants to be single, and trust me there are plenty of men who would like to find a wife

      • Biga12
        Posted at 18:12h, 12 June Reply

        To hell with a wife, give me a year round football season, government funded strip clubs, and a ps3.

        • StephanLabossiere
          Posted at 23:58h, 12 June Reply


        • Suejag3
          Posted at 02:52h, 13 June Reply

          Yes, please, keep expecting more things you didn’t earn.  They’ll for sure make you more of a stand-up guy than you are already.

          • fugugoole
            Posted at 02:00h, 09 October

            You don’t actually think he cares, do you? Women tend to seek responsibility and Social Status, men tend to seek the barely minumum responsibility required to attract women. That guy is obviously MGTOW, why are wasting your time trying to talk him down?

        • Cee Jay
          Posted at 08:06h, 13 August Reply

          I’m glad men like you know better than to not be single.

        • Callie
          Posted at 21:42h, 08 February Reply

          What happens when u grow old lol you can’t play PS4 , no young women’s will like u and u be alone in a hospital home or just alone

          • Salman Khan
            Posted at 04:02h, 18 March

            Seriously, not everyone wants to die old and ragged also. Yes I agree with Biga12. Not everyone wants to play the shitty and tiring games of love, if it had only given them depression and suffering. It’s much better then to kick it aside and get on with your life.

        • PK
          Posted at 22:38h, 01 September Reply


      • karuna
        Posted at 17:19h, 22 March Reply

        yea and the men who don’t want to be single don’t have a backbone and are the needy ones. Anyone who can role single is Alpha and a ‘man.’ Doesn’t need anyone to make them feel complete. Big difference.

    • Calli
      Posted at 21:39h, 08 February Reply

      Yeah and that’s why there are more womens than men and that was why birth is declining and more disease. Like we are under attack or world population. More fuck boys and Sluts meaning more diseases and more death. That’s why females live longer because males lack healthy living lol because y’all put yourself at risk, high death and high stress and high drinking and drugs and wreakless driving and high diseases.

  • Corey Corey
    Posted at 11:11h, 14 July Reply

    It’s ALL about communication! If THAT isn’t made clear, it’s an overall wasted attempt!

  • Sweet girl
    Posted at 17:35h, 16 July Reply

    I feel there are good men and sometimes the good men dont realize they are.  Some are pigs too yes I know one.  He plays many women and also wants one by his side on his bed and then wants more from somewhere else while his woman is working.. That is so wrong if men want to play do it by yourself.. Your not getting anywhere but giving yourself a bad rep… Im a good woman and I do respect

    • Batman5825
      Posted at 12:55h, 12 August Reply

      Sweet Girl , then why do women allow themself to be played ? In reality they know for the most part that they are.

      • Anne
        Posted at 13:30h, 20 October Reply

        why are you laying the blame on women? I see this all the time. “Dont allow yourself to be used”, “you asked for it, its your fault”, “you put up with it”, etc etc.With some women even being blamed for getting rapedl. A man shouldn’t do it. Period. Stop blaming every fucking thing on women, i think we deal with enough without having that added on top. Men are responsible for themselves. If they want to screw around, fine but dont get a girlfriend and tell the women beforehand, clearly, their intentions. It’s that fucking simple. If men don’t want a woman, don’t get on, don’t have a wife, don’t have kids, no one forces them to do anything.

        • John
          Posted at 15:02h, 05 June Reply

          You know how women can take one look at another woman and tell that woman is no good, home wrecking, bad person, etc. We guys can do the same too with other guys, and for some of us more experienced guys, we can do the same for women. That guy who just swept you off your feet and is close to infalliable in your eyes because of his money, pecs, personality, whatever. We can sit back and usually see right through it to the heart of the man, and we know you are going to get played. Society has set up both men and women since the 1970s to be attracted to traits bad partners have, such as arrogance, vanity, narcissism, anti hero/heroine attitude. We confuse those things for confidence, success, and being “smooth”.

        • Chameera Sampath
          Posted at 04:42h, 08 March Reply

          God you are too harsh.

          • pamo
            Posted at 06:07h, 01 May

            This is true.

        • rajat bhivania
          Posted at 05:07h, 03 August Reply

          When women keep incentivizing bad behaviour they push rest of men to that behaviour. That’s the reason

          • Calli
            Posted at 21:46h, 08 February

            You are so dumb. Blaming womens please

      • Calli
        Posted at 21:46h, 08 February Reply

        What Anna said don’t fuck with women’s fuck with men’s. Like I swear men’s that just wanna fuck u should fuck your selves and jus the gay because all yeah guys are the same lol that’s why womens change we aren’t the nice ass womens anymore if a man fuck us over we get them back twice as harder. Like that girl that killed that guy and that women that ran that guy over after cheating on her like seriously y’all think womens don’t know shit please we can kill just like y’all can.

  • Colbyj92
    Posted at 05:36h, 27 August Reply

    Dude I am a good man, but I dont need a woman right now. Yes I would love to have sex, but with the way people view sex in this world forget about that. Sex is not important, and neither are relationships. I also believe this is somebody who is denouncing their own personality, and trying to project this onto other people. I do have confidence to ask any girl out, but I choose not too because I have my priorities. Second most chick I talk to have a dude they want to be loyal with, or also have priorities. (school). Now if I was looking for some “ratchet” chick, or a porn star yeah I fuck with her. Im not looking to fuck with anyone. I dont see the point. Yeah Im a 20 yr old virgin, but I have my reasons. Listen there is one of your top 6 I can adhere too, but their is an exception to that rule. It’s rule #2 as I have stated before I dont plan on seeking any relationships, and as for sex I can see myself having any girl by the time Im 22. So Im covered there. I lack ambition because I dont see myself trying to be with every cute face I see. I see myself being with who I want to be with. I lack ambition with any girl that isnt feeling me. Now as for #12 that can represent me. I am waiting for one girl, but Im building a relationship (friendship) then seeing where it goes. I see other girls in my future too. 

    • Stephan Labossiere
      Posted at 12:26h, 27 August Reply

      Hey I support your decision to not engage in sex and to focus on other things right now. Truth be told I was also a virgin at 20yrs old so I see nothing wrong with that or your decision to stay on that path. None of that changes the fact that there are men who are single for one or more of the reasons on this list. That doesn’t mean the whole list will apply to one man, just that you would be hard pressed to find a man where at least one of these reasons do not accurately apply to them and their situation. Some guys read this list and get offended, but there is no need for that. We all have shortcomings and we all have issues. So we should be man enough to look ourselves in the mirror and acknowledge what may be hindering us if we don’t to be single. Or recognize what may be contributing to our decisions to remain single so that we may properly communicate that to others and minimize confusion. If the article comes off as an attack, I do apologize for that. Truly it is more of an attempted “wake up” call. We all need that sometimes and that is the true intent of this article. 

    • Daniel
      Posted at 00:13h, 15 October Reply

      I agree with everthing you say so far, besides some women are not worth our time whatsoever. Being single is too underrated also, real men are not needy like the ones I see in the college where I work at. I have a concept that says there more obsessed you are with something the more you will strive to get it, because the universe will do everything to stop you from achieving it, I’m not saying to stop chasing women, however is for me to don’t get obsessed with the idea of getting one in order to be happy or accepted by society standards.

  • R.R.B.H.
    Posted at 16:41h, 07 October Reply

    I think those are some good reason but I don’t agree that is the reason good man are still single!! It could be that they don’t want a wife or that they just haven’t cross paths with the right person.. then again they just might not want to give up their “player” card!!! but nice reason…

    • Stephan Labossiere
      Posted at 15:54h, 09 October Reply

      I agree with you. The reasons you mentioned are all listed in part 2 (the final six on the list). You can find the link to it in the last paragraph.

    • Calli
      Posted at 21:48h, 08 February Reply

      That’s sucks when they grow old how are they going to score because they loose there hot face and we all know it going to be late to choose a women now because all of them or taken are have a lot of kids are just a dirty slut that are about to,die

  • 30baskets
    Posted at 13:30h, 07 December Reply

    You touch on some great points. One thing why men are single in my case and if there in a age of 25 to30, I think is not being educate on how to have a successful relationship. as men, we go into a relationship with no tools to be successful and expect it to be great. I.think there not enough long term relationship being promoted no more whether it on tv or in books. In the minority community, young black men are not respecting our black sistas

    • Stephan Labossiere
      Posted at 13:49h, 11 December Reply

      You make an excellent point. This is definitely something I want to do an article on in the near future. As a community we are doing a horrible job of promoting successful and healthy relationships. I hope to help in this area and make a positive impact.

  • Nttell
    Posted at 08:55h, 09 December Reply

    2,4,8 are huge for me as a woman when it comes to a man.  You can talk all day long but if I don’t see you confident in tohave a plan, drive and execute your goals…I will be turned off.  I cannot partner with anyone is not “prepared”….I risk ending up doing things alone!  BEEN THERE!

  • MissMs..
    Posted at 12:55h, 14 March Reply

    Any man who disagrees with this may not be That man, but there Are men out here like that. And I still stick to the fact that people Have to consistently check themselves bc Sometimes it Is You. If a guy is still single bc he isn’t ready or not wanting to be with someone then I think that’s probably a different topic. And for Me a Good Man isn’t someone with good credit, but with a Good heart -Good intentions..he also has to love the Lord but thats me.I personally, have experienced the man who exuded all of the above 6 traits..except ugly:) and i stuck it in with him for a little while because I felt he would eventually grow out of those “moments” –and granted I knew this guy from history’s past, I don’t think I would have stuck it in that long for anyone else….I just don’t know if its a confidence thing..I think His family had a lot to do with it –growing up with predominately women situation gone wrong– but it sucks when you’re feeling someone who has gotten used to devaluing just about everything around them-including themselves, stuck in “routine” and still sitting wondering what the problem is. Not meee homeboy. : )

    • Eddie Pena
      Posted at 23:05h, 07 August Reply

      the bottom line is that the power in the relationship lies in the one cares the least understand a woman needs you for various reasons while u just need someone to fuck when you want to or have a baby let her think that she has say in matters but don’t let her disrespect you because they are worthless unless for fucking or having children other that what the hell you need them for

  • Shell Williams
    Posted at 19:57h, 21 April Reply

    I have encountered “good guys” & there was no spark for me. They get angry because I’m not interested & now I’m a horrible person because I turned down a nice guy. I just want to say that just because a guy is nice doesn’t mean he is compatible with every woman. If I turn down a nice guy, it does not mean I want a thug or something is wrong with me.It just means I felt no chemistry or he’s just not for me. Signed nice girl.

  • eddy burns `;`
    Posted at 02:00h, 01 May Reply

    ‘top’ reason good men are single
    1970’s feminism

  • atljazzy
    Posted at 18:40h, 14 June Reply

    I just dated a self-proclaimed good man, that often told me I was just not use to a good man to justify his egotistical and self centered behavior. It was no room for me in the relationship. 13th reason- The Male Ego!

  • Mark
    Posted at 17:16h, 16 June Reply

    I am currently in a relationship, but I saw this and Had to read it. Because I always wondered why I was single for so long, and I honestly am man enough to admit that about 4 of those applied to me. I am too nice/soft at times. Not towards dudes(I don’t play with dudes, you’ll get checked quick. Lol) but I’m soft with the females I’ve entertained. I do get easily intimidated at times. I work a regular job at a factory, don’t make a lot of money. So when I see a woman with a good job(educator, nurse, nice office job ect) I assume she won’t talk to me because I don’t make as much. Smh and maybe I do have a slight confidence problem do to my financial situation at times. I’m hard-working, have a car, own place, have been told I’m good looking and I keep myself in shape/work out, but I often live check to check. Basically I just need to do better. Thanks for this Post!! My name Is Mark!!

    • Johnny Bravo
      Posted at 00:27h, 06 August Reply

      None of them are true buddy. The real reason is I’m not saying all women are like that but the women wants me to live in sin, turn gay or die alone. I get played on many times on women. In the middle east women are great. They love you marry you and stay with you to the end. That’s how real Christian women in my country are.

  • Norgel Osberry
    Posted at 22:10h, 13 December Reply

    The first 3 were hard to read because that's how I have been, but I know it was said in love so ill work on it

  • Taneisha Taylor
    Posted at 16:05h, 20 December Reply

    you hit the nail on the head. thank you for saying it so we don't have to

  • Yana Felani
    Posted at 19:52h, 10 January Reply

    I can’t think of a more idiot and more sexist view point, why does anyone read this shit? Please don’t take this idiots advice.

  • Lorenzo Cabrera
    Posted at 15:20h, 15 February Reply

    Well i do disagree with u in couple of aspects.from Your list.. first of all the financial part is not how it used to be i live in Cali .. now i know for fact that norm in todays society is that u need two incomes to survive n hold a household so for the average relationship you just can t be the soul provider…now alt of your advice did seem to me that it reflects women's thoughts n some of them r cop outs when it comes to a good men.. Because a good man has to have these qualities Honest,Loyalty,caring,n understanding for u to build n grow a strong foundation that can't be broken… Now money don't have nothing to do with that. But u have to have a job.. Cuz with those qualities when he loves he truly loves n when his women is loving n supporting n motivating he's he excels n becomes successful n goes thru whatever he needs to do to please his woman .. Which its ok to expect him to be ambitions but not everyone is but with true love iy happens the problem is that alt of woman expect u to do it within a couple of days or weeks sometimes it takes a little more for opportunitys.. It seems u where knocking a good guy like women. Do .. See being a good man like this u can only do with a real women because. They tend take advantage if she not … Im grew in Barrio i been thru things u can even image im well respect n am feared n loved .. When i love i love unconditional n im a good man but make no mistake i am tough. But my heart always give to wrong women n i get burn.. One thing they all had common which i didn't see bring up is that out my 2 relationship which i was in love both women did not have there fathers in there life n. On top of that women have kids now so the goodman is already starting a relationship where he's not the center of her world.. N eventually he is overlook undervalued n eventually mistreated because most women think with there emotions n tend to have a change there opinion everyother day… I don't believe in women having close male friends or male coworkers.. By doing so u tend to put urnself in comprising situations that in reality lead to cheating … I am faithful not because im not attractive cuz my personality alone. Gets woman interested cuz i won't hit on them n they don't understand why .. But i stay faithful because i don't allow myself to be in a comprising situation… Like being close with a women other then my girl …. N what i mean by that is a close girlfriend… Male friends if give the right opportunity will sleep with urn women if shes attractive ,its call stand-by … Now good guy has to be a little selfish his a woman will walk all over them like I've allow cuz of my heart but I've come to own n grew so much n love myself because im a "Good Man" Its called "Character" n that's something u can never knock.. Brother .. I could go on n on but on a phone n this is wake.. Thanks, Lorenzo OneLove

  • Anecia Carter
    Posted at 07:17h, 15 March Reply

    Stephan, you hit the nail on the head with both articles. Glad to see you were just as hard on the men as you were with the.women. enjoyed it.Thank you for the insight.

  • Poetiquesoul Pappalardo
    Posted at 23:38h, 26 April Reply

    Yup…sounds about right

  • Timothy Jefferson
    Posted at 05:20h, 30 April Reply

    This the truth

  • Patricia Vallery Campbell
    Posted at 17:27h, 14 May Reply

    You came with it for the man and the women I for one have a lot to work on

  • LaRonda Paden
    Posted at 17:20h, 09 June Reply


  • Raj Jasuja
    Posted at 20:14h, 16 August Reply

    Got some idea why am I single.

  • McJenn Soderquist
    Posted at 18:22h, 02 September Reply

    Jason Henson

  • Pj
    Posted at 20:46h, 21 May Reply

    Total bull shit

  • William Kendall
    Posted at 15:19h, 02 June Reply

    All this is a lie a lot of women nowadays jus don’t even know what a man is anymore because I am ambitious, I’m not ugly, I have confidence, I’m not a punk and I’ll never be intimidated but some woman for any reason I just feel like people have to wait to find everyone to me is in a rush. I haven’t found that one yet but I’ll never give up hope that just means who God blesses me with is gonna be something and to all the single guys out there jus don’t even worry about it she’s out there jus wait on it because good things come to those who wait. Don’t ever believe what someone tells you believe in your heart what u know what’s right and who’s right for u

    • Johnny Bravo
      Posted at 00:23h, 06 August Reply

      I totally agree. I’m just an average guy not good looking nor ugly. Women these days just play games. They say looking for a good man but instead looking for a bad boy, looking for someone to have sex with them so they can tell their friends about it. I’m not saying all women are like that. When a guy gets played on and hits his 40’s then that’s it. The women will say sorry you too old

  • RealityCheck
    Posted at 16:59h, 19 June Reply

    Wow, could it just be that with much more women nowadays are very high maintenance, independent, selfish, and very spoiled? Absolutely.

  • God'sHonestTruth
    Posted at 20:09h, 18 October Reply

    Well there is a very excellent reason why many of us good men are single today is that with much more women today that are very high maintenance, independent, selfish, spoiled, and very greedy, really speaks for itself since many of us are Not single by choice.

  • SoTrue
    Posted at 16:23h, 17 December Reply

    Well with so many women these days that are Not so nice at all to meet which certainly explains it. So it is very obvious why nice guys like us are Single now and always will be.

  • Kenny Junior
    Posted at 04:55h, 18 February Reply

    I have no fuckin’ problem with my own self assessments here, nothin’ to do with my own weakness but just my hearin’ disabilities, feel me huh? My dick works just fine with no problem but all horny at times like a motherfucka while I get shot down just bein’ so fluent in my own visual language limited to my verbal quality yet dat has not been attracting to women! Why I have to be in my deaf world findin’ a woman alike me for same hearin’ disabilities for? I prefer goddesses and not women alike me sufferin’ no ability to hear my favorite urban music and shit. Ya know what I be sayin’ ? Besides I got to seek for a woman who is also black beautifully. Damn to my demographic issue in my town where it be hard to find a black woman who may dig my deafness regardless my hearin’ disabilities but to focus my sweet colorful personality I have huh!? Women are fuckin’ too superior to have me to their blindness of real black love while they are not humble to get down with me. They misjudge dis nigga cuz I am still an intellectual attractive guy they yet can handle. Looks like it gonna do with my light skinned face or what!? What da fuck? Lol. How da hell light skinned niggas such as Heavy D, Ice-T, Shemar Moore be havin’ pussies over me!? Cuz they have open ears with their loosen tongue all functionin’! Dat’s why! Got to remind women we livin’ in our imperfect white man’s world! Damn to yo’ list dat ain’t be applyin’ to me!

  • Morgan Kokoro Johnson
    Posted at 16:55h, 21 February Reply

    The trick to finding a good woman isn't all that hard. First, be a good person. The author lists positive traits that one should have. He then chides you for the weakness you also labor under. That is sound. "Being" good is as much about "knowing" good and having faith in that goodness as the right thing to do.

    That should solve the confidence thing. Second, don't settle. I made the major mistake of grabbing the first passing bus that came by because I was lonely. It took five years to realize I was not the first, the only or the past man to take that ride. I had to grow up enough to realize not every woman deserves a good man. I had to learn to ignore most of the women who came along because they were offering far less than they were looking to take.

    Finally, go and do the things you like and meet the girls that are there. That is the best method of meeting someone compatible. However, beware of "mimics." Women are information gathereres. They use that information to diguise themselves to look like what YOU desire and to hook you. Be watchful, please.

    And one more useful tip if you are strong enough; delay giving them sex. I know you want it, and they know it too. Resist giving in to lust and you resist their power over you. Use the early days of your relationship to discover who she is and what she wants.

  • Ayoub Za Hir
    Posted at 21:25h, 22 February Reply

    im good looking and single

  • Nadjia Harris
    Posted at 11:43h, 23 February Reply

    This comment is everything

  • Que Levi Abraham
    Posted at 23:27h, 23 February Reply

    How about the world is our playground; when A man is successful, good looking, educated, ambitious, intelligent and spiritually intune, I could go on etc.. Those with the aforementioned characteristics have too many options thus we stay single. There are no shortfall in single woman, if anything options open up, it's now more then ever acceptable to date younger woman; newly 18, 21 years old woman are not trying to make their own way, the best looking of woman that fall within this age group are looking for an easy out, thus a so successful called black man is usually their number one pick. This is due to the regression in age in the black man. Woman at the ager of 18, 21 can ease stares from society by dating A 30/40 years black man that looks like his in his early or late 20's. The bottom line is that most successful alpha male stay single cause of the advantages it brings.

  • Chameera Sampath
    Posted at 13:48h, 07 March Reply

    Well said 🙂

  • ToTellTheTruth
    Posted at 15:11h, 13 March Reply

    Many of us good men are NOT single by choice.

  • BeingVeryHonestHere
    Posted at 09:15h, 25 April Reply

    Well with the type of women that are out there today really explains it Unfortunately.

  • Reality
    Posted at 15:07h, 08 May Reply

    Well with so many women that have their Careers today which they’re so very high maintenance, independent, selfish, spoiled, greedy, picky, and so very money hungry which certainly speaks for itself. Who the hell would need them anyway?

  • Bamboclot44
    Posted at 16:20h, 11 February Reply

    regarding the attractiveness issue.. a large number of women are pretty average themselves in looks and do not dress well. In addition i’ve seen a lot of stunning looking women with total loser men in looks or otherwise so that must not be it.

  • The Serious Truth
    Posted at 14:16h, 14 February Reply

    We us our Brains.

  • Craig Bowers
    Posted at 10:58h, 24 March Reply

    This article is a joke and plays into the standards placed upon people to be in a relationship. If you truly don’t have being in a relationship as your life goal and feel that you get slapped for this, then read this: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/living-single/201009/singlism-what-it-is-and-is-not-and-why-it-should-be-in-the-dictionary

  • Research
    Posted at 19:50h, 13 April Reply

    Lmao!!! What a joke…please don’t tell me you have a degree in psychology.

  • Bill
    Posted at 17:21h, 27 April Reply

    I’ve never had a relationship I’m 42 and was just not very good at it I’ve done well in business and I’m to busy to worry or care bout the dating life so I just hire prostitutes much easier if I was to be in a relationship or married God would have given me those skills

    • Johnny Bravo
      Posted at 00:19h, 06 August Reply

      Same here ?. I’m nearly 40 and been single since 1997 until now. When guys say hi to women and I’m not sure if this happened to any other guys when saying hi to a woman and she says why saying hi like she’s thinking that guy wants sex. Why good men are still single because not sure all women are like that. They are just fussy or picky looking for a bad boy that can treat her like crap. I know single guys not asking to be single or alone. In my country Iraq where I’m originally from. If you single don’t have a girlfriend then maybe you are sick or gay

  • Pat Riarchy
    Posted at 13:05h, 25 September Reply

    According to females, the reason they are single is
    1. The men available are not good enough
    2. Why would a female settle for second best
    3. There are no good men left

    That makes sense to me. It’s all men’s fault. Females demand men treat them equally too.

    A man should love a female no matter what she looks like or how she behaves. If a man can’t love her at her worst then he won’t get the chance to love her at her best. What has looks got to do with love? Obese is beautiful.

    So females must display the same standard they expect of men. So it doesn’t matter what I look like or how I behave because females should love me any way.

    We should NEVER gender stereotype people. Every one is the same.

    Then again, females might just be Liars and Hypocrites. Personally, I don’t like Liars and Hypocrites.

    What can a female offer a man other than a 75% chance she will ruin his life?

  • Fuqugoole
    Posted at 01:56h, 09 October Reply

    “You lack confidence” no fucking shit Shirlock. Everyone knows women like confidence, so how do you over come that? Nothing, yeah that’s thought. Fuck you

  • Fuqugoole
    Posted at 02:02h, 09 October Reply

    Any discussion of “good men” needs to start with a definition of what “good men” actually means! I noticed you failed to do that.

  • Daniel
    Posted at 00:04h, 15 October Reply

    Here is what I think, regardless of what I think about this article or how true it is to me,(I don’t qualify myself as nice guy, I’m mostly a neutral guy in my own perception) one of the reasons why people are single/unmarried are due to lack of interest, if you want something fight for it. Other thing is( In my case) I despise drama, I’m plain emotionless in some situations and women feel disrupted with that.Secondly how do you feel in your own skin, third, feminism and how media portrays bisexual tendencies as good or accepted for women, half of girls/women had rejected me by saying they are lesbian (not sure if they really mean it but that kind of hinder me from having as many sexual partners).And nor more nor least, masculinity is rare among today’s society, (no macho man behavior) we live in a time where everything had been womanized,(disregard to some trauma due to hard childhood or abuse).If anybody read this I really appreciate if you reply, share your comments. (Thumbs up)

  • Wybie Fopple
    Posted at 01:45h, 19 October Reply

    I see your good intentions and I appreciate them.

    But nobody who uses the phrase “MAN UP!” to give advice to men is worth listening to. That is not insightful commentary. It’s not compassionate, it’s not sustainable, and it’s not helping men to better their lives. It’s the same old toxic bullshit, and it makes you sound like a small-minded tool.

    If you really want to help men, show them how they are ALREADY good and encourage them to grow.

  • AS
    Posted at 14:43h, 10 November Reply

    I am confused why there are only 6 reasons when the article states top 12. So, the problem is with men? I can certainly agree that if one is seeking a mate that these qualities will hold the man back no doubt. On the other hand, what about the men who don’t possess the qualities listed above? What about the men who can get any woman they want? Those, myself included, are good men too. Maybe the good men are tired of the BS they have to deal with. Maybe they are tired of being in the wrong 9/10 times. Maybe they get tired of dealing with the up and down roller-coaster of a woman’s emotions, just to have her apologize to you hours later. Maybe, just maybe, men are tired of being he pack mules in a relationship. I’m NOT saying that men shouldn’t take responsibility, they damn well should as a man. All I’m saying is, maybe “good men” have realized the ROI in a relationship isn’t there anymore for a man. Because, lets be real, a relationship is a business investment. As a business person the ROI is the main thing to look for. Anymore, as a good man, I don’t see the ROI for men in a relationship…or especially marriage.

  • Rob
    Posted at 12:46h, 19 November Reply


  • john
    Posted at 16:51h, 28 November Reply

    This shit isent helpful!

  • john
    Posted at 17:01h, 28 November Reply

    You know what, you’re scumbag boyfriend/husband beats you up and cheats on you, that’s becouse alot of women want their cake and eat it!, alot of women think they can have a man who has lots of money tall dark and handsome(yawn yawn), how tireing is that bullshit!,big car big house and he’s gonna be a nice guy, news for any women reading this 9/10 he’s gonna be a complete asshole, if that’s what you want that’s what you’ll get, you get what you deserve.

  • Pat Riarchy
    Posted at 19:18h, 08 July Reply

    What can a female offer a man other than a 75% chance she will ruin his life?
    Of what use is a female to a man? Females are not assets but very expensive liabilities.

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