There is nothing wrong with being single! Too many people have made being single the equivalent to having a disease that needs to be cured right away. People will immediately assume something must be wrong with you and to be honest there likely is something that needs to be addressed within you. Not because you’re single, but because you are a human being, and we all have issues. Some will overlook these issues and jump into a relationship anyway.
Only to have it all bite them in the ass later on and create more issues. The reality is that for a lot of people, being single at the moment would be best. Here are 5 reasons this may be true for you.
1. You Don’t Truly Know Yourself.
How can you really know what’s best for you if you have yet to figure yourself out. How can you expect another person to embrace who you truly are when you are more concerned with showing them who you think they want. Bottom line is you can’t, and you shouldn’t. As individuals we need to be more patient when it comes to trying to be in a relationship. Being so obsessed with getting somebody can cause many to lose themselves and not take the time to get to know themselves. Maximize your time being single by learning how to love and embrace who you are.
2. You Don’t Know How To Take Care Of Yourself.
Most people want to find someone who complements their life. They don’t want someone who will drain them and can’t uplift them. Almost everybody likes to have someone who is “capable” of taking care of them in the way that they need. Unfortunately some of you can’t even take care of yourself so you damn sure can’t take care of someone else. Use your time being single to become an individual that can be dependable and knows how to handle your business. Grow to be a persons partner and not a grown child that they have to constantly take care of.
3. You Still Want To Live The Single Life.
Some people want to look like they’re single, talk like they’re single, and behave like they’re single. Yet they still want to be in a relationship and not be “single”. You can’t have it both ways and you should take some time to get your “single desires” out of your system. Entertaining relationships when you still want to have your fun isn’t fair to that person, and you are just setting yourself up for failure. Until you are truly ready for something serious…just embrace being single.
4. You Are Still “In Love” With Your Ex.
Running into the arms of another to get past an ex is not something I would ever recommend. Many times all you are doing is distracting yourself but the issue has not gone away. Whatever happened in that past relationship needs to be worked through within yourself. Being with another person isn’t usually the best way to achieve that despite what some may think. It isn’t fair to put the new person (rebound) in this position, because before you know it this issue will surface and the drama will begin. You’re better off being single than trying to embrace a love that isn’t true.
5. Being Single Will Help You Address Deeper Issues.
Like I said earlier, we all have some issues. Some of us have deeper issues than others and have never truly addressed them. Whether it be sexual abuse, severe heartbreak, absence of our fathers or mothers, and others. These issues are best addressed while being single, before you go looking to get into another relationship. Whether you realize it or not these things will likely have a negative impact on your life and your relationships if you try to ignore them. Get the assistance you need, and put yourself in a much better position to receive the great things you deserve.
It’s not that it is impossible to work these things out while in a relationship. It just makes it a lot harder, and increases the chances of more damage being done along the way. Being single should be an opportunity to grow and prepare your life for what the future has for you. Some may find fulfillment in remaining single and some may find their fulfillment in getting married one day. Whichever will apply to you will be best achieved when you stop treating being single as a pitfall, and start treating it as an opportunity.
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54 thoughts on “Being Single: 5 Reasons Why It May Be Best For You Right Now”
Ultimately I think that anyone who goes into a relationship has to know what they want. You make some really valid points in this post.
Just to add to it I would also say that if you are dealing with any of what Stephan says above you will have to deal with some consequences unless you have a very supportive partner.
The best part of being Single is that you don’t have to account for your whereabouts you are absolutely Free to do you…Come and Go as you so please I Love it.
that is the best part I think lol I love it too
The heartbreak leading to my divorce is slowly being offset by my FREEDOM. Coming and going and doing whatever the heck I feel like doing is wonderful.
WoW! Enlightening!
Amazing reading all these experiences. I have been single for about 4 years after a broken engagement and emotional abuse. It was hard at first dealing with, but now I am sooo happy and I love my life. Enjoying my 41 years of age, my adorable teenage daughter and lovely nephews, 5 and 7. I do what I want, when I want. I no longer feel inadequate for lacking a partner. Thank you all for all your shares. Amazing.
Stephan said it all, when you are single and you are not ashamed of accepting your relationship status because you are working you a better you, people try to downgrade you as if you are the problem! or as if you are not worthy of being in a relationship… LOL makes me laugh because those same people are the ones in relationships but try to holler at the single women/men. I love this post, im learning a lot about myself since I started to embrace my status and I cannot be proud of myself for the improvement and the things I find out while on the journey. ENLIGHTENING
You are so right! Some men try to make you feel like you have no self worth. Check this out: You’re laughing at how stupid they sound, helping them find their keys so they can walk out your door.(No second date for me)lol.. I wonder where are they learning there skills of relationship from? Stephan need a school for the men. I know we all need help but this is crazy.. I’m sorry to speak the truth, but it makes you free and I am free.. Thank you Jesus:-)~smile~
Makes everything so clear
I am still single by choice. It seems that every man I meet wants a bootie call or expects me to sleep with them on the first or even second date. That is not me !!! It seems all the men I meet never want to get to know the real me and never get a second date.
Wow these are my words exactly! For a minute I thought I wrote this lol. I feel you on this!
i’m single. tried the married life twice. have 2 beautiful adult children from that. it’s so funny, people do say they have someone to fix-me-up-with, all the time. i say no, i;m good but i can tell they dont believe me…until we get to know one another and i find-out that they are envious of my single lifestyle (simplicity with a dash of mad fun), and most usually very unhappy in their marriages ( I do not and will never sleep with a ‘taken’ man.). i laugh and ask them why then did they want to fix me up? They usually dont have a good answer at that point. I think it’s an animal instinct to want to pair people-up. well, i’ve evolved and my evolution involves really preferring to remain single!!
I am 55, and the ONLY reason at my age and stage to get married would be really good companionship, and a slightly better lifestyle that comes when TWO people combine incomes and resources. Haven’t met anyone in 7 years who could even do 1 of these things. In the meantime, I love sleeping when I want, eating what and when I want, and only doing my own laundry. Oh, yeah, and no obligatory sex.
Amen to the good single life !!! Living In the moment..
Yes! It be the main people in less than satisfactory relationships that try to encourage people to get in one. NO THANKS, & look @ what’s lacking in your relationship instead of thinking I’m lacking something by not having a mate.
I’m single because most of the guys around here are abusive, jobless, drunks that cheat on their gf’s and smell like armpit. I refuse to settle for another POS out of loneliness.
Wow do we live in the same neighborhood? lol. I am 55 and support myself, and so do all my same age group female friends. I work with the public and have had occasion to meet at least 15 men in my age group, and every single one of them is jobless, (for years in most cases), either live with or off mom, drink heavily, and still think they are a prize catch because they are a male. I am considering moving!
I am glad that you mentioned this. I am 23 and I remember when I turned a guy down because I did not want to talk to him. He automatically thought I had a problem. I laughed. I do not mind being single, but some of the things you have mentioned are the reason why I am.
I love that I’m single at this point in life after graduating college. Yes I can work on myself and I’m open to meeting someone to share my life with at the right time. It can be hard when most of your friends are in a relationship or married but I try my best to get involved in fun activities and make new friends and maybe meet someone in the process.
These words spoke to my heart. I just stated today via Facebook how I’m happy to be single at this time so that I can do the work on myself. I feel that once the work is done my love will show himself to me. Thank you!
Amen…..I say embrace your season, your life and continue to grow. I know if I put the work in to become a better person, I certainly don't want to hook up with someone who seems to not care about their development. You get what you become……like attracts like.
Wow!! I meet men that claim they are interested in gettin to know me, but the only thing they are interested in is SEX!! Thats the topic of his convesation.after he see its not goin in the Direction he wants, theres no phone calls nothin. And im ok with that. Im just glad i saw the true colors early in the game..
I will not let a man love me again. I have been used abused and anything else that goes along with this. Cant take another loved one either going postal or dying on me. Single and 55.
Great article!! This is why I have been single for over 2 years after a very draining 7 year unhealthy relationship. I had compromised all my standards and beliefs, so it was time for me to get back to being true and faithful to myself and rebuild my relationship with God. I would like to be married one day, but I have embraced my singleness and have been happier than I have been in a long time.
For some reason men do not approach me. It use to bother me until I realized he is not the one God has prepared for me..been single since 2004 I have accepted my singleness as a gift
well dont speak in parables,speak dirrect to me ,i am not here for games nor for sex chat,what will i gain in sex chart,will rather call for quick sex ,how much will that cost me ,,,Lol……………I am only interested to know the person i am talking to,and since we both old enough the question i ask u was to know about ur body figure…ur height weight ect…I am seeking for a free minded and open minded woman who is ready for along term relationship not a night stand…Dee mail me back whats on your mind
Well i just logged on line and saw ur comment u put on here very interesting but dnt count me among those sex chart men u been involved with here online..
I've honestly Been single since my divorce Nov.06… Nd it's been Great!! I've healed, cried, vented, said I'm thru..all nd all..went thru Christian counsel for the abuse…nd Tried to finally date after 3 years..didn't Work but still friends..My Ex nd I have joint custody nd get along so well..I'm very productive in ministry nd enrolling to finish my Early childhood degree…it's praying now that God sends my Boaz…think I'm almost ready, Sometimes it's harder now.Why?? It's like I'm running out of patience..it's not a easy
amen
This article is on point. I agree with all the items listed here. I am single, after divorce, and loving being single. I enjoy time alone doing what I want to. I enjoy the freedom of making and having friends. This time has really allowed me to know mysekf and better evaluate those who offer relationship. Wouldn't trade it for anything in the world right now.
Ms Sonya Tate. Your have figured it out. Plez don't. Hurry this my sister I. Know. How this feels then I started to live life for me and I figured out if I love me heart and soul someone would take that torch up whenever . out of nowhereYour dondon't. Have to look just hold on it will become out of no where your will know before that person open there mouth Ps that is not correct below. I love what you're stand for could not erase it love your for the self worth your displayed couldn't. Erase. Crap at the bottom. This feature phone thinks it knows me sound familiar. Love this BIG(BOAZ) OR WHO EVER IS AROUND THEM CORNER WHERE U LEAST EXPECT IT THANKS FOR YOUR COMMENT I. WASWHEREYOWHERE YOU ARE BLESS YOUR AND YOUR BOAZ DOLL
Still in love with my ex I know that I need to move on
I was married once and that was enough for me. Although I divorced after 10 years of marriage, and years later had several relationships, they all seemed like a repeat. Today I am single and love being single as compared to dealing with the controlling issues that most men seem to have. Not one relationship that I had was missing this factor and it is a true turn off. I see myself as a very fulfilled person and have chosen not to invite baggage into my life. Not judging, just saying.
I AM SINGLE BECAUSE I’M HAPPY! BEEN MARRIED,NOW WIDOWED,WITH NO PLANS ON REMARRYING EVER AGAIN!
This is where I am. I must get back to God and rework my relationship with Him.
Anybody outherr looking for a wife call me 305 282 2271 im Robbie im 38 looking for a black or Latin woman very young im honest got money I want to settle down or Asian too
Hi is robbie
Great article
I know exactly what you're going through. It's hard to move on, damn hard! Good luck to you!
This is bullshit, all reasons meant the same thing just worded it differently men and women are not meant to be single its manipulation towards black folks when you look at any other race they aint all on articles and posts embracing the single life…. Im sorry but when I was single I wasnt able to mature into the man that I am today because my mindset is different and I love my queen and I expect to have a happy and full family in the future…. its always the men fault to why black women choose to be and are single and some of the reasone im lookin at is cause you feel that you dont have to tell your other where you are, going and be…BULLSHIT, or cause men just want the booty…BULLSHIT lol WHAT IS YOUR PART INTO WHY YOU ARE SINGLE????? post that!!!! Lol
your Boaz is on his way…
None of those fit , no ones interested in me pretty simple really
I concur
Thank u for upstanding my feeling because it is hard and he went on with this life. And got marring
Great article, patience is very important. I know as a man that I feel more comfortable knowing that Im bringing the best man that I can be to the table. Knowing who you really are by looking in that mirror and owning up to it along with correcting your weakness-its a great thing 🙂
This article is good to address the single person who have NOT invested time in knowing and sought healing for themselves. Otherwise, you stereotype the single who are healthy and ready for lasting relationships.
I luv it its so true
It is so true that you need to seek healing before entering into a marriage. If you're unhappy as a single, you'll be an unhappy married person as well. True happiness is only found in the person of Jesus Christ! 🙂
I'm single simply because I want to be and not that whole bit about wanting to live a single life, look single(whatever that means). I'm just content where I am. I'm a single mother and my focus is on raising my 14yr old son into a responsible man. I don't refuse to begin a relationship, if it happens then it will be what God intends. Where I live, most of the women are young and extremely thirsty and it has definitely had an effect on the men here. They are used to being chased, and I refuse. That has NEVER been my style. Until I meet and feel a gut chemistry with a man, i'll be just fine SINGLE. It's ironic that this article reads there is nothing wrong with being single, but after reading it, it's almost as if it is making singles out to be disfunctional in their own right, which is not a conscolation. In my opinion, of course. ;D
I agree on all the Thinking that was listed here I've been divorced for 2 years and just trying to find myself
So much truth
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I 100% agree with you. God Bless
I've been single since 2005. I used to believe in love, but since I've stopped looking for it or even expecting it. I've created an unbelievable life for myself and my children, all by myself with God's help of course, including going back to school to get my degree and buying my first lovely home. I realized that I can do more for myself being single than when I was married, because there is no one to hold me back except me. Some of my married friends are struggling with so much. I still would love a mate but I can't handle anymore of the mental and emotional stress that seems to be a part of it. At this point it's better emotionally to just adopt a dog. I'm over past hurts but I'll never forget them and don't really care for a repeat.I don't even want to be bothered with trying to decipher lies from truths when I meet men.