So you are married to a woman and man is she a prude. She is boring in bed and on top of that she barely gives up the booty. She actually thinks twice a month is normal and sufficient (no offense to the ladies that really believe this). I mean she isn’t even willing to try anything you saw on “How Stella Got Her Tube Packed” or “Blowjob Impossible” (these are actual porn movie titles, I have not seen these movies, just looked it up on Google). Really this woman is horrible sexually, and for some of you it’s confusing because she used to be much better than this. So what’s the problem? Is she really this conservative? Has she simply lost her desire for sex? Or hold up now…could the problem be YOU!
That’s right my friend, too many men are quick to put the sexual ineffectiveness of his woman all on her. You don’t even know or realize that either a) she not only is a freak but there is or have been other men that may have previously received that side of her b) there is a freak in her but you just have not realized how to bring it out of her c) you have seen the freak previously but your lack of sexually satisfying her has caused the freak to go away. Now I can discuss many things that play into this, but for this article let’s focus in on what I feel is the most important aspect for many people. The issue is how comfortable is she with you. Sounds simple right, but trust me so many of the men are overlooking this. When you can make a woman feel comfortable she becomes more open mentally and emotionally. I always like to say “open her mind and her legs will follow”. By her being more comfortable she also becomes more receptive to you sexually and allows herself to properly enjoy your sexual actions. For example, if she isn’t as comfortable as she needs to be with you then talking dirty and saying something vulgar may get you a funny look or completely shut down. Whereas the next man (who she is more comfortable with) can say the exact same thing and it will turn her on. Same rule applies to physical advances. You could attempt to smack her ass or grab her neck (in a sexually assertive way of course) and this may turn her off, frighten her, and cause her to be very offended. Whereas another man can do that same action and it makes her wet and more sexually submissive. The difference again is how much you have succeeded in making her feel comfortable with you. All the things you say or do to her won’t matter if she is mentally or emotionally disconnected. She may still have sex with you at those times, but she is just waiting for you to be done, and she isn’t likely to make a return to the bedroom very soon. Some men may have a woman who is always ready to go, but that isn’t the norm, so don’t expect to find that. That freak you desire is there, but you have to put in some work.
As a married man don’t assume that she is automatically comfortable with you. If you are her boyfriend, don’t assume because she is comfortable today that she will be just as comfortable months or years later (side note: this is one of the reasons I believe waiting is best, because you need time to truly recognize and nurture the connection needed to create great results in marriage). If you want your lady to be a freak then you have to constantly do your part to create an environment that allows her to bring it out. She wants to let it out, but letting other parts of your relationship fall off can quickly make her hold back. Let her find that comfort in some other man and he will be the one getting the freak you complain your woman isn’t. You can’t just blame your woman, you need to check yourself and really evaluate if you are doing what she needs from you to make it work. Again there is more to it than just this, but this is a great start. Understand that sex is an art; your woman’s mind and body are your canvas…so learn how to paint!
Side Note: I personally believe there lies a freak within all women but in fairness I will say that there may be times that you truly have a woman who just isn’t sexually receptive. To make a fair assessment you still need to do your part as a man and then let’s see what happens.
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is a Certified Life & Relationship Coach, Speaker, and Author of the #1 Best Seller "God Where Is My Boaz" as well as the Award Winning book "How To Get A Woman To Have Sex With You...If You're Her Husband". Stephan is on a mission to help men and women experience happier, healthier, and more fulfilling relationships. He is a highly sought after coach and speaker who has been seen, heard and chronicled in various national and international media outlets. soulmate