To screw or not to screw, that my friends is the question. Should a woman be willing to have sex on the first date? Can she really expect to find love when she allows the man to “tap that” so soon? Will he respect her or simply place her in the “booty call” zone for eternity? I have heard many varying opinions on this issue. I have also seen many different outcomes. So for the record whichever route a woman takes can end up with different results, but I maintain one position on this topic of having sex on the first date.
DON’T DO IT!!! I know there are a bunch of men booing right now and using some very colorful words but I’m just being honest. It is not in a woman’s best interest to have sex on the first date. Of course you can choose to do as you wish, but allow me to explain my view. If you are truly looking for a relationship you are now stacking the odds against you. Whether this is fair or not, most men will not respect a woman who gives it up so easily. Many will eventually wonder how easily you have given it to other men and that just won’t sit well with them. Plenty will say they don’t care but sometimes that’s just a setup. The man’s goal is to get some booty so of course he will play along and act like having sex on the first date is not an issue.
There are men who genuinely don’t take issue with it. You could sleep with them and if they like you and the sex enough they will still make you their woman. So there are plenty of examples of couples who had sex on the first date and managed to have successful relationships and even marriage. The thing is, I can give you examples of people who won the lottery, but that doesn’t mean you will win a damn thing if you play tomorrow. So using the “success stories” as validation to do it I feel is bit misguided. Yes it can happen, but if we were able to get actual statistics on it, I firmly believe it will show how unlikely it is.
Some people will argue that you shouldn’t come in with rules or playing games. That you should go with the flow and if you two connect then go for it. I understand the argument and I definitely don’t believe in playing games. Still I have to say DON’T DO IT. You have to remember that you are trying to establish a genuine relationship. Plenty of people latch on to the wrong person simply because of the sex. This isn’t about playing games, it’s about taking a smart approach. You want for that man to get to know who you are not what power you pack between your legs. If you two don’t take time to evaluate if a true connection exists (not sexual chemistry) then I believe you are taking a big risk in setting yourself up for failure. Yes some have overcome sex on the first date, but again that isn’t the norm.
A person I know once said “We can go back and forth on this issue of sex on the first date, but one thing remains true. We can find plenty of men who have eliminated a woman from serious potential because she gave it up too quick. Yet I doubt we can find anyone that eliminated a woman as a serious candidate simply because she DIDN’T have sex on the first date”. That’s what it all boils down too. If you truly aren’t looking for something serious then these arguments are irrelevant. If you know you want more, than it is just in your best interest to hold off on the sex and certainly not engage in sex on the first date. Now date number two! Do the damn thing!…That was a horrible joke so please don’t take it serious. As far as I’m concerned you’re better off waiting until marriage but that’s an article for a different day.
is a Certified Life & Relationship Coach, Speaker, and Author of the #1 Best Seller "God Where Is My Boaz" as well as the Award Winning book "How To Get A Woman To Have Sex With You...If You're Her Husband". Stephan is on a mission to help men and women experience happier, healthier, and more fulfilling relationships. He is a highly sought after coach and speaker who has been seen, heard and chronicled in various national and international media outlets. soulmate