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Posted by on Dec 4, 2012 in Advice for Men, Advice for Women, Dating, Marriage | 73 comments Tags: , , ,

Side Chick: 7 Reasons Why She Is Just His Mistress

side chick watching couple toast champagne

We live in a society where men having a side chick a.k.a mistress happens way too much. To some men having a woman without a side chick is like having a meal without a drink. Not good in my personal opinion, but there are plenty of women who go along with this dynamic. Sometimes it’s the part they choose to play and other times it is given to them and they try to deal with it. So why is that particular woman finding herself as just his side chick and not the main woman in his life? Well let’s take a look at some reasons why she may choose or be chosen for this role.

Because She Allows It

I always say that if you accept less than you will get less. Many who are side chicks simply allow themselves to be put into this category. They accept the game this man runs on them even when they say they want better than this. If she isn’t aware of the other woman then that is different. Plenty women are aware of the main chick and still choose to go along with the situation. The reality is that many side chicks will eventually if not initially want the top spot and most will never get it.

Side Chick Benefits

Let’s face it, some guys give a great benefits package to their mistress. Lavish gifts, bills paid, and all the two-minute sex sessions she could dream of. For many women this is worth the trade-off of not being the main girl. We can discuss whether this is right or wrong but I’m not getting in to that today. The benefits that the woman will receive including having more flexibility on when she does and does not want to deal with this man makes this arrangement work in her mind. She isn’t truly into him either so for her it’s less hassle and more fun as far as she is concerned.

She Fears A Real Relationship

The truth is our world is filled with damaged and hurt individuals. The disappointments in love and relationships have caused many people to operate with walls up. For some, what better wall to protect yourself than knowingly not being the only woman in that man’s life. Some women figure being the side chick is safer for their heart and emotions, while still providing them companionship at some level. Of course this is risky business because eventually many still develop an unhealthy attachment. Yet and still this situation is appealing to some who think they are “protecting themselves”.

She Only Offers Good Looks & Sex

Unfortunately many women have yet to reach their potential. They haven’t evolved as a woman and they simply get by on great looks and sex. For a lot of men, this is all they want in their side chick, so this woman is a perfect fit. If she wants to truly hold a higher position in a man’s life she then you has to provide much more value than this. For some guys this may be enough to get their top spot but she likely won’t be able to maintain it. A woman has to bring more to the table or be prepared to only get another woman’s sloppy seconds.

She Gets A High From Dealing With Another Woman’s Man

Obviously there is a deeper rooted issue here but at the surface this is an ego boost to many. She likes the fact that she has the next girl’s man running after her. She enjoys doing something that others view as wrong (forbidden fruit). There may be a bitterness factor at play because she has been burned and hurt in the past so this makes her feel like she is in control. It’s just a thrill for her and she really isn’t ready or willing to embrace something with real substance and effort (see #3).

He Can’t Bring Her Home To His Mother

Just because a man wants to have sex with a woman, that doesn’t mean he can ever see himself being with that woman. She will only be his side chick because of that fact and because he knows his family would not accept her as anything more. The specific reasons why can vary with each person and family. Ultimately she provides enough benefits to keep around but that man has to give his family a main chick they can embrace.

She Doesn’t Value Herself As More Than A Side Chick

Low self-esteem can drive people to deal with a lot less than what they deserve, and in this case accept the role of being a side chick. She may have bought into the lie that she can’t do better than this man. That she should appreciate the left over scraps that he feeds her rather than embrace that she deserves receiving a full meal of a man. Maybe she started off not knowing and after it was revealed she found it hard to walk away. Knowing and embracing her worth would help her find the strength to not accept this situation that she knows she is not happy with. This woman should not let that man set her value. She has to realize she is worth much more than this.

There are more ways to look at this topic of women being a side chick / mistress and other reasons to discuss. I will definitely be diving in to them in the future. I couldn’t possibly cover them all in one post but I figured this was a good place to start. Gaining clarity on why people do some of the things they do can help move everyone in a better direction. Make sure to comment and share what you feel are some of the reasons she is just his side chick.

Find out if your ex really needs to remain an ex by getting your FREE e-book & mp3 audio download of the 3 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Take Your Ex Back + BONUS sections. You definitely want to read this. Click Here     

About Stephan Labossiere
is a Certified Life & Relationship Coach, Speaker, and Author of the #1 Best Seller "God Where Is My Boaz" as well as the Award Winning book "How To Get A Woman To Have Sex With You...If You're Her Husband". Stephan is on a mission to help men and women experience happier, healthier, and more fulfilling relationships. He is a highly sought after coach and speaker who has been seen, heard and chronicled in various national and international media outlets. soulmate

73 Comments

  1.  

    Great post! This is a topic that I’ve had many many discussions about,
    and posted about. I have to (sadly) add so much of this comes from today’s celebrity
    idolizing. Too much crap from the radios and TV’s. Starting with music, esp a
    lot of the Rap/Hip-Hop arena.  Time and
    time again, today’s young adults adopt what rappers/singers put on the air. A
    rapper says his bitch likes getting slapped, so then it’s the latest fad, so
    all the 15-17 year old accept this as OK. A rapper has chicks everywhere he
    lands, so then many chicks  see that as a
    way to get in the Clique. An NBA player has his girl in his home state, and all
    other places he ballin, so there the chickenheads go wanna fuck a baller….. An
    NFL 3rd stringer has chicks in every state in his Division, and gets
    to punt ass in 4 states, one for each day he’s in practice.  Then add these reality shows. I ban them shits in my house. And I’m from the Bronx, grew up in the Bronx
    River Projects, Sound View, Fort Apache, Hunts Point, Willis, Barretto, all of that when it was at its
    worse. I still listen to rap, and understand  it’s just story telling. I also can’t blame
    rappers for putting out what they do or wanna do, or reality show (Actors?), they’re not raising my
    children. But a fire will exhaust if there’s no oxygen. This is just one
    aspect, but truth. Let the fallout begin. MOSES

  2. All the reasons u stated are valid yes but I will say this, if men would just stay away from other women that are not their wives! Maybe side chicks would not exist and would not take that role. Too many men are emotional pimps and a lot of women accept the side chick role to avoid the hurt.
    I was a side chick a long time ago and for a year trust me that man loved the shit out of me! I was even scared after a while that his wife would come and kill me one day. I didnt date him cuz of gifts etc… i liked his personality and the fact he was married never bothered me! It started to bother me later when he was talking bout he wants to divorce his wife!?

    • You mean if you know a man is married YOU SHOULD STAY AWAY FROM THEM. Married men are that NOT AVAILABLE.

    • I agree. I think it’s funny that society actually believes that a man will have a side chick for just sex. I’ve seen men leave their wife for their side chick and they are beyond happy. Men tend to fall in love with these side chicks. So I don’t think y’all should bash a side chick.

  3. I agree with everything that you said and especially the point that “she allows it.” Too many women go for the “Okie-Doke” for the sake of saying that she has a man, even though he is only a “piece of man.” I really wish women would wake up but if the aren’t looking for a serious relationship and only interested in the benefits, I guess that works for her. However, if a woman doesn’t “know” for a fact that she is a side chick, her intuition tells her so by the way that he treats her.

    • Women need to stop chasing the same men. Lets keep it real, there are a group of men that can sleep with an unlimited amount of women (seconds, thirds, etc.)

  4. this kinda hurts my heart so much. i have a soft spot for the second chick, especially the one who likes taking another womens man or insecured…the man benefits not the woman. when i was in this kind of relationship, i woke up.  i realized  he benefited and plus it’s all about sex. he gets what he wants. i dont. so i got out, and hve not been back since. but i understand why i stayed.  one of the 7 reason fit me.  it felt so good to be loved. it just so happen to be a man with a ring.  but that is not fair to the other woman at all. i wished women saw them selves better. i wished young girls and boys saw relationship as a thing to protect and not hurt. you know. but you cant save a fool. i was foolish but i’m no fool. wake me up and i’m out. wake up a fool and they only go deeper. i consider myself wiser.

    • You are not loved if he has 2 women you are used and deserve better. I have limited compassion for any female that wrecks a marriage a married man is that off bounds. However sometimes you don’t even find out they are married until it is too late.

  5. i bet a woman wrote this, woman have men on the sidelines sometimes they just don’t get caught 

    • Actually a man wrote this (me). I agree with you that plenty of women have men on the side. I plan to write about that as well but that is a separate issue from what this article is discussing. We have to learn to stay on topic if we ever want to properly address the issues many people face.

    •  You need to change your logic, being just as stupid as men gets you what exactly?

    • You’re funny. While I was reading it, I thought how many men do women have on the side.

      • They have a lot. Not to bash but I remember my mom doing that behavior and still do. Its pathetic

  6. Sometimes your post really makes me wonder….. Anywho what defines a side chick I really wanna know because many people dont know they are the side chick. First off let’s address the men that tell these women one thing and then tell the other women another. Men manipulate women into thinking that they are the only ones or that they are in horrible relationships and really want out because certain circumstances allow them not to like marriage, kids, finances etc. And when you start off as a man’s friend and he comes at your with the sob stories it makes it very easy to be a side chick lol. And then there’s the women that like other people’s men okay we dtermined they are less than women and they in my opinion are fatherless women. I dont know no normal woman that would enjoy sharing a man. Now to my main point if there is a main there is another woman okay. It’s like a meal you have the main dish and sides or you can have two main dishes lol.  There needs to be a clear word for one and only. Two main dishes has to explained because a majority of women are in this situation and dont know. Now one women may know about the other but they will always think they are higher than them, when actuality they are on the same level. Two mains are two women that are sharing a man equally now the man is obviously telling these women the same things and giving them the same perks they just arent aware of what he is exactly saying.  A broke man can have two main but the most common is a man with money so ladies be aware. I cant stand the term side chick because most women arent side chicks they are the other main. I ‘ve seen husbands spend Christmas and Thanksgiving with the second main honey so please understand men are manipulative creatures that are unfornately not alway able to practice monogamy. And yes it comes back to old times where men had wives. They like to have more than one this is a man’s freaking problem not the majority of women.

    • I agree completely that many men lie and manipulate the woman into thinking she is the only one and all the other things you mentioned. I just wanted to focus more on the women in these situations with this specific article but I do plan to focus on the men as well n the future. Now the woman who knowingly go along with this are not always fatherless women. Sometimes there are other issues at play that contribute to their willingness to be apart of these situations. Nice try on the “two main dishes” lol. That goes against the definition of the word “main” so I think it would be more accurate to say that there can be two side dishes/chicks but not two “mains”. I understand your dislike for the word but I do feel it describes what is really going on a little better. I feel both men and women can be very manipulative. I agree that too many men have embraced not being monogamous and this needs to change. At the end of the day both men and women (those who know whats going on) play a part and bear some responsibility in situations like this. This article was simply trying to discuss and help others understand why many women go along with it. With a better understanding we have a better chance at making the necessary corrections. 

      • What makes a person the side chick if he does all the same things with both women. For instance, bring them around friends, family members, sleep overs, buy them things, go out on dates and take vacations etc?

        • Whoever comes after the first woman would be considered the side chick. Treatment doesn’t change the fact that he was already in a relationship with another woman. So being treated just as good or better would not change the perception by most that the 2nd woman to enter the picture is the side chick.

          • Any female that knows a man is married or living with someone gets all they deserve for trying to steal someone else’s partner – he is simply not available and instead of calling them side chick sex chick is more appropriate because that is all you are a bit on the side. If you like him you tell him to leave the relationship and when he is free to contact you but in most cases he won’t so find one that is single and respect yourself.

          • I’m involved with a guy with a gf not a wife and I didn’t know about her at first. I don’t see myself as a side chick I’m pregnant with his child and he does for me financially

      • A main is not the main without the sides (if that makes sense). A main still has to share and in most instances, she is in no better position than the side chick. I would never want to be a main I want to be an only…

        • a wife should be the main course in a mans life….and his sides should be his passions, hobbies, and interests. if those passions, hobbies, or interests are other women……then he’s not digging whats being served anymore….and eventually he will start throwing you under the table to the dogs. we deserve better than this ladies. do better for yourselves. :)

    • OMG! Thank you… my sentiments exactly!

  7. Most women are side chicks, they just don’t know it. Ladies you can’t have it all, if you care about things that are not all that important like looks and money you will be a side chick whether you like it or not. Basically if you don’t want to be a side chick you need to do two things. First, Close your Legs and make sure he knows he will have to earn it, or move on. Second, make it clear you better put a ring on it, if he can get it for free, it will always be free.

    • I totally agree.

  8. You nailed this one!! Women need stay away from another woman’s husband PERIOD! they are TAKEN! he is not theirs. Even if he is not married what make them think he’s not lying. I respect relationships and marriages. I even want a marriage one day. I would hate to see my husband with another woman and that’s what most women fear when they do get married. It is too mny side chicks and if they stop interfering they will stop breaking up homes and at least have somebody

    • Oh boy!!! I would never blame another woman. If the man isn’t interested there will not be any side chicks or breaking up of homes. Pretty sure many have turned that same man down before but he won’t stop trying till he gets exactly what he wants. Stop blaming other women and put the blame where it belongs.

    • You can’t break up a home that wasn’t already breaking when you got there. When you actually get a Husband maybe you and all these other sanctified sinners can about own flaws instead of telling others who they shouldn’t or should not be with. If that spouse is not yours then don’t concern yourself.

  9. Sigh, when are we going to confront these men so that they have to be accountable for there wrong-doings? Tragic–we really live in a patriarchal society, and many of us don’t sense the societal programming of specific gender roles. As far as I’m concerned, nothing is sacred because no one is held accountable. Men, stop slingin’ that d$*#! And stay true to your vows! Women, if you find out your man’s cheating, take a few moments to think about…LEAVING! He would definately leave your ass if you were cheating–hell, he’s already “left” if he is cheating. It hurts so bad to see women suffer, exile to deal with the pain, then go right back to hum. To me, the man, more often than not, STILL benefits–he wins again! Maybe I souund like I hate men, but I can assure you that I do not. I just feel that both parties should be equally responsible for their actions.

    • You are correct that both parties should be held accountable. This article is simply addressing one part of the overall issue but it is not attempting to dismiss what you have stated. Both men and women should stop engaging in this behavior if we are going to make things better in relationships. 

  10. you know what i think… WHO CARES!!… MEN CHEAT! WOMEN CHEAT… MEN Marry the WOMAN that wouldn’t put out… then cheat on that woman with a woman that will fulfill fantasies that the other woman put her self too high on the pedestal to do!!… face it we are all SLUTS AND WHORES just like my friend on youtube JAYSTAR said. so find that person that you love…. who cares who they are or who they are with right now or how much money they have and JUST LOVE THEM FOR WHO THEY ARE and try TO BE UNDERSTANDING BECAUSE THOSE WHO JUDGE WILL BE JUDGED. PEACE YALL LOVE AND HAPPINESS

  11. women don’t “allow” it so much as they are trained to accept the ‘boys will be boys’ nonsense we’re all brainwashed with. many women are raised with the idea that they have to do anything to keep a man happy, including putting up with utter BS, or allowing another woman to be a part of the picture. women were conditioned to do all of the above until the sexual revolution. more women are being taught to be independent now and figure themselves out so hopefully, this will translate into more women chosing situations that FULFILL them – so they don’t cheapen themselves and get pimped. men who do this type of thing lack empathy and rationalize why this behavior is appropriate because it is a social norm.

  12. Good article but you need an editor to review for grammar and spelling. Too many mistakes in this text …..

    • thank you and you are correct. I actually just found one and they are in the process of cleaning up all of my articles. hopefully from here on this will no longer be an issue.

  13. All of this is interesting.

  14. To “who cares”. There’s a difference between accepting someone the way they are and allowing yourself to be treated as a doormat and completely throwing your morals and principles out the window. If something is wrong and can potentially hurt another person, choose to take no part in it. I know sometimes we fall in love and want to be loved but, trust me, these types of relationships do not go anywhere significant. You are wasting your time with a man that has those values to begin with.

  15. I love all your posts …but I think that you forgot a reason… #8 because she has no idea that she is a side piece. She’s oblivious to her status in his life

    • True but I left that one out because if she doesn’t know then there isn’t much to explain. We could only discuss the possible reasons she was chosen to be his side chick in that situation.

  16. Thank you for bring this out and up. I struggled for years on trying to figure out why every year in our relationship there was some form of cheating in it. What I finally realized was I was only good enough to him to be the main chick for show but when it came down to having a relationship or marriage that is not what he really wanted. In the end I realized he was still searching for someone or something and never really happy with what he had found so I left because he turned me into a side chick. After the separation he was just letting me know I was just a side chick he would only come by and see me late in the night after everyone else had gone to bed and no one could know he was here, when he was with her and I would text him or call him it would go to voicemail or auto reply busy, he would not call me in the day time so his family would not know that he was still dealing with me, yet she was the one going on family trips. I accepted this because I was trying to make my failing marriage work he accepted it because he was getting his cake and eat it to so I stopped it all together and felt a lot better about myself. Christians wives don’t let him turn you into a side chick because you feel like you are obligated by your faith know you deserve better.

    • Woman of Great Faith I can relate to being turned in to the side chick in my marriage. I left too. Thanks for sharing.

  17. people cheat. people do the easiest thing to get pleasure on their terms. if it means using somebody else, many will do it. some of these women do this out of bitterness but some just simply enjoy this type of situation because for them, it's less headache than dealing with the typical dating mess out here. i think it's risky and not worth it but as long as folks get something they want from a situation, they will continue to do it. men AND women get used on the side. men don't mind being the side piece at all. many seek it out as well. so it is not just women. the only women doing this i feel bad for are those who don't know they can do better. not every woman doing this feels this way. in fact, some are in relationships and dipping with the married dude on the side.

  18. The side chick my ex started with had a man living right across the street ,where he chose to leave me an move in with his sister, whom was helping him cheat .He started staying out all night, sleeping on his sister's floor to be with this tramp.. I at the time had no idea when I was still dealing with the sister introduced this woman to me as her friend that lived across the street. I felt so dumb when I figured out this was why my man wasn't coming home. I immediately informed the side chicks man of what was going on. .SO now my ex is the side dude, husband- in- law or whatever term you want to call it..An, he seems more than willing to play this role. He recently got an apartment around the corner from where his couple lives. Even with having run ins with the husband-in-law, he continues to try an make me believe that there is nothing going on with this woman. Even though I've walked in his sister's apartment an seen her asleep on the floor on the twin mattress he slept on. I think he gets a thrill out of knowing he's with someone else's woman. I'm just waiting til all hell breaks loose, cause Karma is still right around the corner. Living, Breating an Ready to Pounce!

  19. wow

  20. In my opinion, "side chicks, home wreckers, whore mongrels, worthless females" that KNOW they're just a piece of A** have absolutely, positively NO love for self. We could debate back & forth about the different reasons females indulge in such degrading activity but what's the use?! Again, this is just my opinion BUT in order to continually hurt the "main WOMAN" without regard for the domino effect it may have for the main Woman's family means they obviously have no self worth. If the side Jawn thinks for one moment that she could EVER be the Main Woman…….she's setting herself up for a HUGE disappointment. No male wants a side Jawn to EVER be his Main Woman simply because he KNOWS that she doesn't know her worth, or she wouldn't be the side piece!
    #lowlife
    #selfcentered
    #norespect
    #poorcreatures

  21. I have been a side chick but not to a man who has a girlfriend but because I am in a wheelchair. Men tend to view me as a sexy blowing machine. I don't want this, I hate it. I want a husband.

  22. Well said

  23. My husband doesn't need a side chick when I AM his side chick. Meaning we are always doing something together. After work we watch documentaries or go out to karaoke bars, go camping on the weekends or things that will keep both of us satisfied that there is no time for other side chicks.

  24. A recovering Side Chick. Ladies Low self Esteem is the reason I was a Side Chick. I didn't Love myself enough to know that I DESERVE BETTER ! Steve mentioned Low Self Esteem in the 7 reasons of being a Side Chick / Mistress etc. After Much Prayer, Counseling, and Mentoring. I can TRULY say I'm No Longer that Person. I have a Healthy self esteem, I'm going to school, getting my Masters, Pursuing better jobs, and developing New interests. I realize Self Love is the BEST Love ! Once you know better you will do BETTER. If any man comes my way he must come correct or keep on Stepping. In GOD's Own time he WILL give me my Boaz. Until then I will be happy and FREE from being Nobodys SideChick Mistress etc !

  25. So much is left out of this. Now, both women get to meet the family. This too has been going on since the beginning of time. Some men just want two women and treat them both the same. This topic can be discussed forever and there'll never be a summed up explanation.

  26. SO SICK OF HEARING ABOUT THE FEMALE!! HES A FAULT AS WELL!! IT TAKES TWO!!!!! THE MAN IS AT FAULT AS WELL……SIDE CHICK & HE THE SIDE DICK CAUSE SHE MAY HV ANOTHER AND THE WIFE TOO!!!

  27. I know women who unknowingly took on this role but by the time they found out they were emotionally invested, then it was hard for them to pull out.
    To the author-you said you are going to address men later but why weren't they your first choice? Men should be the head and not defile the marriage bed. They should also cover their wives. So in my opinion they should have been the chosen topic of your choice first. Many women are looking to be led, be covered. That is the natural order but we have had to take on harder emotional shells because of the BS we've been given. Men know a women's vulnerability and will play on it persistently. For the ladies on here hating on the side chicks your man is the homewreacker an
    .unfortunately its a hateful world and stop looking to them to owe you respect. They aren't the ones who took the vow your man did he's ultimately responsible

  28. I agree with some of this but I personally believe that when a man has a side chick he is more to blame then then the side chick like let's be clear it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out… It's been a tradition for centuries that women stay home to take care of the kids and the man provided and in the mist of this it's also been ok for man to have other women look at the minority countries the man out there can have 7 wives and it's ok but because it's America and we do live DIFFRENT it is still the same thing…. The wives can be mad at the mistress but in all reality be mad at your man cause he's the one that choice to step out the marriage so in other words your man is the HOMER WRECKER at the end of the day a man is gonna be a man it don't matter how much he loves you I always believed that a women can't change a man I always think that you have to let a man grow on his own and figure things out on his own after all he is a Man lol the moral of the story is ladies stop blaming the side chicks step your cookie up and check your man ladies don't no women wanna be rolling around in the grass with another women over a man it's not worth it know who your dealing with ladies!!!!

  29. I love the post and I agree on it

  30. Yes I have been there, as a matter of fact I just broke it off because of guilt and lies. I believed him when he said he was leaving, I believed him when he said he loved me and I believed him when he said I am his Queen. Then I realized how dumb can I be to allow this snake to enter in and make me believe so many lies that felt so good when he belonged to someone else and Will never be mine. Facing reality is real and can hurt but I feel better knowing I could face the fact I allowed this to happen and I am better than what I have accepted myself to be. Don't believe what man says when he is showing you all along the truth. A side chick is a role I will never play again.

  31. I somewhat agree. And then there is the man that plays the role as well you can't just blame a low life woman when the main chick's man has lied continually keeping her thinking she is his main chick. The main chick is just as stupid for keeping a cheating man in her life but then again she may not know it herself. When two souls are tied together it doesn't matter which spouse is cheating because in the end you both are due to the souls being tied. When a man lays down with another, or lies, or steals and the spouse knows these things then she is just as guilty and she is basically doing it too.

  32. Side chicks are usually women who are starving for love, therefore, they'll fulfill that need and eat anywhere

  33. I waited all my life — until the age of 66 — to meet the man of my dreams and I had given up ever finding him. I've made do with friendships and short term relationships, being a cheerful person with an optimistic view of life. I've developed myself — got a PhD, had a wonderful wonderful working life. And then — at the age of 66 — he came to me. Out of the ether (internet) and he told me he was divorced and raising a son on his own. He lives 1200 miles away. We communicated for hours every day — texting, on Skype, email and even phone. I knew him for 6 months. My partner of 20 years left me as a result. Our whole lives were broken apart because I believed I had finally found my soul mate. I do not need to tell you the outcome. You've guessed. He WAS divorced — true. But he had remarried — and not told me. I found out by searching him out using Google. I don't know why I didn't do it sooner. Perhaps there were warning signs and I ignored them. That was 4 years ago. We've struggled through a lot of phases and now, we are passionate friends. He is 26 years my junior and nothing — but NOTHING at all the man I'd envisioned all my life. But I love him dearly and I've tried my best to honor his marriage and never never has he talked badly about his wife and nor have I. We have learned to respect one another. Perhaps our relationship is wrong — I do not claim to be perfect. However, having waited for so long — so many arid years — for this man, I'm deciding to have some fun with it in my declining years — and enjoy the fun we still have together…mostly online, sometimes I fly out there to see him. It's weird — we're both weird. We love that about one another. There are many many paths that lead to the mountaintop. :-)

  34. finding out after falling in love with him and realizing I wasnt forever-sucks, but i DO deserve so much more!

  35. Speak on it. Men, particularly Black men are well aware of themselves as a hot commodity. They know that the odds are on their side and act accordingly. There's plenty of advice for the "main chick" as well as the side chick" on how to please their man and submit to him. But as you mentioned this "husband" leaves his wife uncovered. Unprotected….from God knows what. The saying goes, "You gotta pay the cost, to be the Boss." So yes it's his responsibility FIRST.

  36. If a man isn’t married he is single I don’t feel one can be a side chick unless she’s dating a married man

  37. i don kno on yo side of the world bt in Zimbabwe i wld say don be so sure.i hev been there n believed that myself.bt wen the reality hit me,it hit me so hard that i toppled frm my castle into the dusts

  38. agreed, it was great ,i think the side chick has to blame herself not anyone else ,we live with our choices

  39. Everyone is going hard on the sidechicks. MOST of the time- it happened to me:men lie about their relationship status and are good at it. AS SOON AS I FOUND OUT-it ended. You can't be mad at someone for being deceived.

  40. Actually This isn't low self esteem from my end. This is what i want at the moment. Been sheltered an control my whole life an leaving my soon to be ex. It isn't self esteem issue if you are happy with it. I don't want to be serious. I don't want a Boyfriend. SO for me this is perfect.

  41. It mutual an he's not Married..

  42. People/men treat a woman the way she allows him to. Men and women disrespect themselves and the relationship. Women we have to be responsable for our part in the childish game and men do also. Women do get the worst deal because eveyone look at her as the bad guy. Men need to realize what is really important, wife and family!! Women we need to see what is real, that this man isn't leaving home and that you are just a side piece.

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