Does it feel like this whole “dating” thing sucks? Has it been a struggle with to make progress with the women you’re interested in? Have you found yourself feeling like you just can’t find a “good woman”? Well before you come to a conclusion you have to look in the mirror first. As men we have to be mindful that there may be things we are overlooking while in pursuit of finding a woman we can settle down with. Everything can’t be “her” fault. There is a part we all play in our struggles and dating is no exception. In my attempt to help give clarity on what some may need to improve here are 3 common dating mistakes that men make.
1. You don’t have a plan.
Women are attracted to men with vision. They like a man who can be assertive and knows how to handle his business. The man who shows he is capable of taking the lead in a situation and have things work out well will always be able to grab a woman’s attention. So when she asks the question “so where are you taking me?” Answering her with “uugghh I don’t know, where do you want to go?” in most cases is already starting off on the wrong foot. You should always have a plan in place but just remain flexible if it doesn’t work for her. It doesn’t give a good impression when you don’t take charge of the situation. You also should be able to show you have a plan for your life. You don’t have to present some 10 year plan but be able to express some short-term goals and aspirations. Don’t come off looking like a boy who is lost or you may constantly find yourself as a man that’s alone.
2. You talk about sex too much.
If you truly want to have a relationship then you have to try to stop always making the conversation so sexual. You don’t want to make it seem like you’re only interested in one thing or that you’re unable to hold a good conversation. It isn’t that this topic should be off-limits altogether but don’t always be the one to set it in that direction. This is the time to go deeper than the physical and see if you two really do connect and enjoy each other. As more dates go by it isn’t as bad but you definitely don’t need to make it so sexual initially. I would even say that as a man who says he is serious about a relationship you should leave having sex too quickly off the table. I understand that this sounds ridiculous to some but hear me out. We all know that if she’s good at she does then a man’s judgment will be clouded. Next thing you know you’re all caught up with some women you have no business being with because she hooked you with that “good stuff”. Don’t be a statistic and take an approach that sets you up for something more genuine and fulfilling.
3. You don’t ask about her enough.
Don’t go into dating as if it is an audition. Approach it more like it is an interview. You should be trying to get to know this woman and determine if she truly is someone you want to move forward with. You can’t accomplish that if you are too busy talking about you, you, and you some more. How many times does she really need to hear about that business deal you’re doing that will make so much money, or how you stay in the gym cause you’re so buff, or whatever else you think is going to impress her. You can’t make it all about you or you will run the risk of quickly turning her off. Instead make a conscious effort to ask about how she is doing. Give her an opportunity to share her thoughts and dreams. If you ever find yourself rambling on for too long then stop yourself and say “well enough about me, tell me more about you”. She will appreciate that gesture. Always be willing to talk and share things about you but you shouldn’t let it dominate the process that should be about getting to know who she is.
I know there are many other mistakes we could discuss but these three are good to focus on. Always remember that there is room for improvement and we are not exempt from that as men. If you’re struggling in dating then don’t be so quick to point the finger everywhere else. Self evaluation is always a good thing and it will help you become the man you need to be. Which then will make it much easier to get the woman who is best for you.
Related Article: 3 Dating Mistakes Women Make
8 thoughts on “3 Dating Mistakes Men Make”
I really agree with number 2! I have uncles and even family members that are women that does that. And looking at their relationships it is nothing but drama. But 3 is such a turnoff I would hate that.
You hit the nail on the head with this one.
Point 1 is SO true, especially for those of us who are career/business/vision-minded. I’ve got it going on, if I say so myself. No, I haven’t achieved everything I want to BUT I do have a vision & a plan to do so. I’m a Queen with a Queendom, looking for a King with a Kingdom to MERGE with mine, so we can rule this thing together..not for you to come in & get fat off all the work I’ve put in.
Point 2, being a God-fearing, completely celibate woman (I was once told there are different degrees of celibacy..never heard that, but I like to be clear), I do NOT want to talk about sex. I’m not a virgin so I know what it feels like & yes, I do know what I’m missing..STDs, drama, pregnancy, delusions, lack of judgement, soul ties & did I say drama??? Plus, I view it as being plain rude, disrespectful & manipulative for you to keep bringing this up because I’m going to think you’re trying to get me to think about it & catch me slippin’. NOT COOL!
Point 3, GREAT POINT! Most women love to talk..about you & us & we care about what is going on with you BUT if we constantly have to hear about you & not enough us, you seem selfish & that’s not COOL! I loved how you expounded upon this, Stephan.
Love what you said about point 2. I will admit temptation has been very strong with someone I was talking to, but his actions, and lack thereof has cooled that down greatly. I wish more people were aware of all the spiritual ramfications you pointed out “delusions, lack of judgement, soul ties”.
Yep…. all three are sound advice 🙂
well as a straight man that is looking to meet the right woman to settle down with again especially after being married for 15 years which my wife was the one that cheated, it is very hard to find love again since so many women nowadays are so very nasty to meet. i never expected to get cursed at by a woman that i was very much attracted to, and told me to leave her alone and don’t bother me at all. that just shows you how women have certainly changed over the years, and not for the good at all.
I particularly like #1. I hadn’t really thought about it before, but it is unattractive when the guy has no plan or suggestion. It doesn’t have to be complicated! I appreciate that he put even just 2 minutes worth of thought into how he wants to spend his time with me.