single men arms raised to the sky

3 Things Single Men Need to Start Doing TODAY!

Single men it is time to start being better men and stop with contributing to the issues many deal with in dating and relationships. I understand that some of you don’t grasp the damage you do to women, and to the overall state of relationships. That’s why I have decided to do my part in making sure you are now informed on the reality of some of these issues. Be brave and drop the pride while I show you the way and help you take the necessary steps to becoming the best man you can be. Let’s begin with these 3 things a lot of you need to start doing.

1. Be honest about your intentions

If you’re simply looking for some bedroom action, then please stop allowing her to believe that you want may want more than that. It’s not cool, and it is simply causing more damage and more dysfunction in the crazy world of relationships. I mean don’t get me wrong, I know when a woman says “if a guy just wants sex, then just say it” this isn’t a suggestion that will typically help you reach your goal. It was a great line some woman came up with to help weed out the guys who are just after sex. However, it would still be best to take an honest approach. You can still find women who are on the same page as you, and you don’t have to lie or “play boyfriend” to get what you want. I’m in no way saying that sex should be your focus, because it shouldn’t, but I understand that this is what a lot of men desire while dating. Just take a better approach so that you can avoid creating more issues.

2. Learn How To Be A Man

The behavior of being dependent on a woman to take care of you, and not knowing how to stand your own two feet is unacceptable. It needs to stop immediately. You will never be able to properly take care of a woman in a way that she needs or desires if you have yet to learn how to take care of yourself. Some of you may know how to stand on your own, but you may be what some consider a “momma’s boys“. It’s great that you love your mother, but if you don’t learn how to cut that umbilical cord now you will have major issues when you get married and you keep putting your mother over your wife (which in my opinion is not a good move at all). It is time to stand on your own merits and start being the best man you can be. Your future girlfriend/wife is not going to be happy with some guy who can’t take initiative to do anything for himself. She is not going to be happy carrying an extra burden in the relationship because she does not have a man she can count on. Yes I know some of you are being taken care of by your woman, so you may figure “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it”. Well guess what, it is broken, you just don’t see the cracks and dysfunction clearly. Trust, you keep it up and it will become painfully clear how broken it really was the entire time.

3. Try To Understand Women

I always say “you don’t have to understand all women, just focus on making a genuine effort to understand your woman”. Which is true, however, gaining some general understanding of women is a great place to start and it will help you moving forward. You may think you know plenty, but many times you may not have a clue. That reality will eventually slap you in the face once in a serious relationship or marriage. So here is the deal, you can either wait till that time comes and try to learn on the fly or you can get started now and be ready for when that day comes. I’m not talking about tips and tricks to maneuvering through a woman’s mind and heart. I’m talking a genuine attempt to understand women and the ways that many of them operate. You wouldn’t wait to the championship game before you raise your level of play, you would practice well in advance so that you have a shot to win that championship. Well it is the same thing here and if you’re smart you won’t waste another day waiting to prepare yourself.

There it is right there and I’m sure many women would agree with this list. There are other things I could list but let’s just focus on this for now. You can learn more as you continue to come back to this great blog that will enlighten you and educate you on the many things I feel would be great for you to know and understand. The single men that take heed to this message will be a few steps ahead of the other guys too prideful to take some good advice. They will see the benefits of taking these steps, and when the time comes that they wish to be single men no longer, it will be a much easier transition. If you’re a woman reading this, well pass it along. The more men we can get to start doing better, the more we can create a positive environment that benefits both men and women.

Related Article: 3 Things Single Women Need To Start Doing Today

33 Comments
  • Hnnhum
    Posted at 19:27h, 15 March Reply

    WOW!!! This was definitely a sign for me. I know a male…can’t say man with all of these traits. Haven’t spoken to him in almost 4months and out the blue he just decided to text me. Thank GOD for all the real men who know how and want to be taught how to treat a lady!

  • HairByDanni
    Posted at 00:08h, 26 March Reply

    I like this. Everyone should he honest with eachother. That will save time. Plus if everyone (once again) was incorporating GOD in their lives, sex wouldn’t be #1 on anyone mind. God should be #1 and you’ll never go wrong. What happened to the old days when people actually got to know each other and it took a long time for you to even get a kiss?

    • RelationshipExpert
      Posted at 13:32h, 28 March Reply

      Yes honesty is the best policy. I agree with you, we need to get our priorities in order. We live in such a sexually charged world that it has become harder for us to focus on what is really important.

  • Pooblyshus39
    Posted at 22:12h, 07 April Reply

    Mr. Labossiere, My 17yr old wanted to put her comment about the young boys that are trying to become men..”Pull up your pants: I really dont wanna see your dirty underwears!! Hit the books: Straight F’s are not cute. No one wants a dumb or lazy guy in their life, thats if I was waiting and brush your teeth: Just because you have gold in your mouth, doesnt mean you have clean teeth BRUSH THEM!.”(notice the exclamation point please sir) She wanted to know can you help the young(MEN&WOMEN:-)~smile~

    • StephanLabossiere
      Posted at 14:45h, 09 April Reply

      lol She makes some excellent points, and I will definitely put together a post aimed at helping the young men and women. I wish I could speak to more kids in high school because they do need more guidance.

  • Mansa Musa's Mans
    Posted at 01:01h, 04 May Reply

    I couldn’t agree more.  Thanks for speaking up for those who are trying to preserve that small demographic of real men. 

    • StephanLabossiere
      Posted at 17:16h, 04 May Reply

      Thanks man I appreciate that.

  • Crzzycindy
    Posted at 07:10h, 16 May Reply

    Some men should be ashamed of themselves.  A man can’t be a momma’s boy unless the woman makes him that way and doesn’t cut the umbiblical cord. Somehow I wound up with three of these type of men. I wouldn’t date a man today unless his mama is dead or he never had one. At least then there’s a chance for us without the interference. This is a good article and good luck getting men to read or apply any of it. Both sides (depending on their character) can and do lie or play games. Those of us who have been there and done that have no desire to have a repeat performance.

    • StephanLabossiere
      Posted at 09:15h, 16 May Reply

      Please tell me you are exaggerating with the statement “I wouldn’t date a man today unless his mama is dead or he never had one” If that is not a joke, then I just want to say do not let your past experiences make you take a position like that. There are plenty of men who would not let their mother interfere. Stay open to it or you may just block the blessing you deserve.

    • Lawbound00
      Posted at 15:11h, 01 July Reply

      That’s an extreme reaction to the situation. There are MAJOR benefits to a man with a HEALTHY relationship with his mother: compassion, understanding and APPRECIATION of women, protective instincts, etc. I will agree with you, though, that an UNHEALTHY attachment to mom creates a sabotaging effect on a romantic relationship. I’d ask you this: Was there ever a father figure in the picture? Sometimes moms make their sons “surrogate husbands” and have a hard time letting go bc THEY will be alone. Unfortunately, many of these men don’t understand/see that & succumb to their mothers’ guilt trips and game of “she’s not good enough either.”

      • Chica
        Posted at 00:00h, 23 February Reply

        Truth!

  • Terrill
    Posted at 03:29h, 07 June Reply

    Good read. 

  • Realtalk
    Posted at 20:45h, 13 June Reply

    It’s nice to be honest, but how many times has any man succeeded by saying he just wants some ass ? #realtalk 

    • StephanLabossiere
      Posted at 13:28h, 15 June Reply

      You make an excellent point. You may get a lower success rate, but in the end it is still the better way to go about things. Also there are ways to go about it that still pretty much convey that message without having to flat out say it. Which is usually much more effective and still honest.

  • Lawbound00
    Posted at 14:55h, 01 July Reply

    I think men would be surprised at how being honest with a woman about sex could still get them action! I have female friends who know better than to enter a new relationship with baggage and take time to heal before sincerely engaging again (ie-taking on the risk of emotionally immature or insecure men). However, if they found a decent guy to fulfill certain “needs” in the meantime with no strings attached they’d be open. (Problem often is that many men also catch feelings or become possessive even in these situations.)

    • StephanLabossiere
      Posted at 17:43h, 01 July Reply

      Yes it can work at times, but not as much as some would lead you to believe. Even when a woman is willing to accept a sexual relationship, many do not want to be viewed as just his piece of ass. As a man you can get away with it more if you don’t flat out say it. Just go with the flow, but unfortunately taking that route can at times lead to confusion. Flat out saying it can be a turn off for some women or make them feel uncomfortable accepting the situation as it is. It also depends on how she views you as a potential mate, or just some guy she is really attracted to but couldn’t see herself with. 

  • Lawbound00
    Posted at 15:03h, 01 July Reply

    For the record, I agree with HairByDanni. Men and women don’t approach relationships with the same values that worked (Much better, anyway) in previous generations. Promiscuity has been one of our greatest enemies. I admit that when I was younger I made the mistake of thinking that a man wouldn’t stay if I didn’t give him an idea of what he was “getting”. But I realized 2 things: 1) the ones that leave if you don’t put out were never truly the ones you REALLY want anyway; 2) Men looking for something serious WILL wait & appreciate the woman who MAKES them wait even more!! The good ones see the value she places on herself and will put the same value on her!

    • StephanLabossiere
      Posted at 17:45h, 01 July Reply

      I agree with you, but I will say that I would change the line “truly the ones you really want” to “truly the best guy for you”. 

  • MariLyn
    Posted at 08:54h, 09 July Reply

    Hola me parece super bien esto que escribistes =) Aunque esta en ingles entendi =P Un saludo esta genial, me gusta se ve a un hombre maduro escribiendo eso es lo que las chicas buscamos, no un chico que escribe y luego nos mienten … 

    • Stephan Labossiere
      Posted at 16:20h, 12 July Reply

      Muchas gracias. No hablo a español, pero encontré un programa para traducir esto para mí. Realmente agradezco que lean mi artículo y me alegro que haya gustado. (Translation: Thank you very much. I don’t speak spanish but I found a program to translate this for me. I really appreciate you reading my article and I am glad you enjoyed it.)

  • Passion4dis
    Posted at 05:33h, 14 October Reply

    Men need to understand that if they’re not ready to settle down they don’t need to lie and convince women they’re ready to be loyaled because there are women who want to have sex with no strings attached

  • Nttell
    Posted at 21:33h, 09 December Reply

    #2 is major

  • Byena Warren
    Posted at 07:22h, 26 January Reply

    that’s half way true, but I’m different. I like honesty, respect.. and the right to choose choose.. but if you’ve ever watched waiting to exhale. Wesley snipes character was class A. Emotionally and long term he had nothing to offer the deal was to treat her like a woman and respect her in the morning it was convenient for both of them. No sex, but a desire to help the other fill a void. sometimes woman will and need to take a step back from dating completely. This takes a lot of strength and will power men have this thing about thinking they use woman for sex instead of vice versa. 🙂 because its not the norm, right? I happen to have a diverse group of female friends. Some throw on there slut pants regularly, mainly cuz of insecurity society set a standard that if your man less then there is something wrong with you #ItsJustNotTrue I’m fully capable of getting a man and keeping his attn if I want to.. thing is if I need to regain who I am mentally going from one attachment to the next can cause emotional damage A mutual respect and agreement Can be healthier than u think conclusion, 🙂 depending on the whole presentation.. and the person.. a booty call is only a call away..

  • @Bowser79
    Posted at 04:33h, 28 January Reply

    That ain’t the issue if your mom needs u cause he is sick & won’t let u get out on ypur own cause of who ypu are. My mouth is long they say with a long face & big yeeth. My sister don’t want me toget hurt caise of who i am. My last girl friend called me on my cell phone while she was having sex with another man while i was getting my hair did & she was moaning deeply, that she never done with me. It hurted & i left her & she not care. So all i want now is sex & don’t want no relationship cause of whp i am. If i was succesful in life this would have been alot worser. U lady’s of your type can choose what u want & when u want it. Men like me gotta put up with what we don’t want & depression all the times. This is a nice post but this post is only for your type of women. I gave up a long time ago. I’m sorry, it is what it is.@Bowser79.. that’s me.

    • Stephan Labossiere
      Posted at 09:51h, 29 January Reply

      I’m sorry to hear that you have had to experience these hurtful things. Don’t let those bad experiences make you negative and bitter. I understand your frustration but if you stayed focused on the things you can control you can see improvements and better results. Not all women will take advantage or hurt you. We have to learn from the hard times and when we do we will see better times ahead. As crazy as it may sound, forgive those that have hurt you and embrace that you can get much better.

  • Ewk08111960
    Posted at 14:15h, 15 February Reply

    I know how to be a man im a love honor and respectful man towards women I even hold doors open for them I also go by the song”treat her like a lady”

  • Richard W1
    Posted at 19:32h, 15 February Reply

    and what about the 30,000 things that women need to do ?

    lets start with any construction site anywhere in the world… who works there doing all the hard manual labor and dirty work long hours, overtime and putting together roads, hospitals, schools, bridges, tunnels, power stations, housing, offices, laying power lines and telecoms  etc.etc. etc.

    who invented nearly every piece of technology on the planet ?

    and where is the man’s rite to have 3-4 years off work and bring a couple of kids into the world ?

    and who gets to go first when the ship is sinking and there aren’t enough boats

    and who dies for their country in great numbers to bring an end to clowns like Hitler and Po Pot

    while men have taken care of just about every physical problem on the planet, built solutions and created a technological society with instant communication, housing, heating, transportation etc. etc. what have the women been doing to build better happier societies ?

    are there less drug and alcohol problems, are there less divorces, happier better educated children ?

    hmm… not really….. where have you been girls ? busy bitching and painting your face…. that’s where….

     

    • PrettyP
      Posted at 02:50h, 19 August Reply

      That’s because over the last few hundred years women weren’t allowed to do those types of jobs. Obviously now they can but there is still sex discrimination against theses females that want to do the jobs you are talking about. So before you put out comments like the one you have, please remember that women could not do those jobs. They weren’t even allowed to vote. Now women are in the army, they are working on construction sites etc.

  • Mikaiah Moshe Greer
    Posted at 03:41h, 27 July Reply

    Good advice…its difficult to understand women at times but some things are/should be basic or common knowledge through time and experiences…. Thanks for the great advice you continue to give on relationships…. We need it:)

  • Andrea
    Posted at 17:42h, 20 February Reply

    I like your honesty here. And I appreciate your straightforwardness. I’m sure many women appreciate you for stepping out and expressing the truths from a man’s point of view. I appreciate your authenticity! God Bless you and the work you are doing!

  • TriciaB
    Posted at 18:19h, 30 March Reply

    Wow! You really hit the spot with this one. If men really knew how many women really Can handle the truth, they would be amazed.

  • Zag Gaz
    Posted at 14:22h, 01 April Reply

    All the guys you just described, don't get laid. Is this the intro into 101 ways to not get laid.

  • Keith Daniels
    Posted at 17:19h, 01 April Reply

    my question.is what if your honest and hardworking,try to understand even short yourself and its still no good with multiple women.they take full advantage and yet belittle you for a man with less than you and runs the streets and go back and forward with them,than come crying to you or block you out when all you did was better their lives. Whats the best approach?

Post A Comment