“He won’t let me go” I have heard this so many times from women who come to me for advice. In the midst of battling the reasons whether they should stay in their relationship or if it is time to walk away, they find comfort in believing that the man must love them because he refuses to bow out peacefully. Granted there are many situations that the man is truly in love with the woman, but do not always be fooled.
A lot of times what is really happening is that you’re just too damn convenient. You are too beneficial to this man for him to dare let you walk away. We all see women everyday who basically are the mothers to the men they are with. They do it all and sexual benefits are included. They take care of everything, carry the financial burden, and allow the man to get away with way too much. He can cheat on her and disrespect her. He can break her mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Yet because he insists that he wants to be with you when you’re ready to leave you actually start to buy into the “he won’t let me go, so he must love me” perception. If he really loved you he would not do half the things I just listed. He would not wait until you’re ready to leave to finally step up his game (he will step it up long enough to reel you back in but then it is back to the same old negative behavior). If he actually loved you then his heart would weigh heavy on him when he knowingly and continuously brings you stress, unhappiness, and hurt. A man who loves his woman cannot continuously watch his woman in pain and be OK with it. Some situations are not this extreme but the principle remains the same. He keeps you around and fights for you because you’re his meal ticket. So why would he let that go.
Love has nothing to do with it and a woman needs to be honest with herself. She should not continue to feed herself a lie due to her fear of a failed relationship and being alone.
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