social media networks are ruining relationships

Social Networks Are Ruining Relationships

Damn you Twitter! Damn you Facebook! To hell with all of the social networks that have emerged in the 21st century. Our relationships were getting along just fine before you got here. Love was real and all of you have come along to add unnecessary drama. You create issues that did not previously exist. You give access to our lives for everyone to look at, comment on, and stir up trouble. I mean damn, have you no shame.  Must you cause the demise of all these great relationships that could have lasted and lived happily ever after? You suck Facebook! You suck twitter! So how about you and the rest of your Social Network buddies just kill yourself and leave our society alone!

Ok if you haven’t figured it out yet that intro paragraph was absolute sarcasm. I mean come on people, really? I don’t know how many times I have heard someone blame social networks for messing up their relationship. Are we so unwilling to take personal responsibility for what we do and for the bad relationships we choose to be in that we will blame a tool that can’t control us, we control it! Oh let me guess, Twitter has an auto tweet function that sends out inappropriate tweets to other people who aren’t your significant other. Not to mention did you all hear about that Facebook app that makes you misinterpret someone else’s status to be about you or assume negative things about your relationship. Please understand that our actions are OUR actions. So social networks are not the problem, we as people are the problem. All the social network is doing is exposing the fact that maybe your relationship isn’t what you thought and hoped it was. It is making it harder for men and women who aren’t truly ready to be in a relationship to be able to hide this fact and their unnecessary behavior. It makes it clear when some men and women have deeper insecurities (rooted in that relationship or relationships from the past) that need to be addressed. There are many other things these social networks expose but I think you understand what I am saying here. We can’t keep looking for a scapegoat to explain questionable behavior. For those of you who feel “well if not for social networks then I wouldn’t get caught and that is my issue”. Well here is an idea, don’t do things that can get you caught up. If you want to creep, don’t be in a relationship and just date whoever you want. Social networks can’t make you do anything you don’t want to do. You have a choice so start making better choices.

We all have to get to a point where we can be honest with ourselves about our shortcomings. We should to be willing to acknowledge when maybe we are in a relationship that isn’t best for us. Maybe we just aren’t ready yet to be in one, or the person you are with isn’t truly ready. Nothing wrong with that, but being in denial about it will only create more problems and cause more damage. Some of you choose to run from Social Networks as if it is going to cure the issue. The issue isn’t going anywhere because you are not addressing the real problem…YOU or THAT PERSON. Either way it definitely isn’t some website that has no control on what we do. Allow yourself to accept that reality and give yourself an opportunity to properly address what needs to be addressed. Now go tweet this article and like it on Facebook : ).

32 Comments
  • Theo Navigator Moore
    Posted at 05:09h, 12 August Reply

    Actually Stephan you are correct on every angle of this topic, but I cannot let you slide out of the initial introductory statement that was shielded as sarcasm because it does have much truth. 

    These “Social Networks” I.e. Facebook,Twitter and YouTube (can’t forget that one) are the children birthed from their parent and lord “Myspace” have ruined more relationships than any man or woman could ever do in one setting. Sure it is up to the person to be responsible BUT just like mice and rats; they cannot help that they like cheese and these Social Networks are using trickery and bait to lure people into unnatural habits.

    It is UNNATURAL to tell everyone in the world your business! It is UNNATURAL for everyone in the world to know how many children you have, how much money you make, your marital status and visual exploitation of self! No where in the REAL WORLD can this happen than online in intentional viral-based communities. I KNOW THIS FIRST-HAND AS A PROGRAMMER in the field of Information Technology.

    Seriously…if a person goes out into the REAL “PHYSICAL” WORLD on a mission to meet people; it is likely he/she will not meet many people by days end…BUT go online > create a profile > browse for so-called friends and they can meet over hundreds to thousands of new people in a few minutes to hours. THAT IS VERY UNNATURAL because no one is actually going to keep up with 1,000 plus friends, chatting with them, calling them, spending time with them, etc and still have room in their real lives for themselves.

    My grandparents have been together for over 65 years and still going and neither plan to ruin their status with Social Network nonsense (simple: Don’t start none won’t be none!) My grandfather does not need to attract 200 plus extra women that he would have never accumulated so quickly in the real world nor does my grandmother require the need to “friend” any extra unnecessary men…and that is why they’re making it to 66 years and on until God does them part in the death in which they made and honor vows.

    We must NOT evade the FACT that there is a paradigm shift into the UNNATURAL and it does aid strongly with pushing and pulling men and women out of natural order. Everything was far better before these acceleration tools that helped misery and its famous company bestow itself through viral exposure. Sure drama always existed…but it was contained and not spread worldwide at the rate it does now. You had to read about it in local news…it used to be NON-FACTOR news in NY was not news in GA…but with the Internet ALL NON-FACTOR news everywhere is in your face no matter where you are. 

    Perhaps it is NOT our business to know every damn thing. I’m sure it is NOT our business but it is here now and there is nothing to do about it but come up with solutions to the arising problems. YOU’RE doing a great job and touching on relationship problems with solutions AND displaying a fine example of what one could be doing with the Internet to actually impact lives. And of course you have the Internet to thank for it, but THIS (controlled content environment) and Social Network (wide-ass open and very un-controlled environment) are two very different Internet creatures. #IJS 

    Social Networks CAN and WILL destroy a relationship (even the ones that are rock solid and don’t have traces of insecurities!)

    If someone is out there caring enough to read this: IF YOU HAVE SOMEONE THAT YOU TRULY (AND I DO MEAN TRULY) LOVE AND RESPECT: PLEASE SPEND LESS TIME ONLINE IN THE “DIGITAL” WORLD AND SOCIAL NETWORKS AND MORE TIME IN THE “REAL WORLD” WITH THE PERSON YOU LOVE AND DISCOVER AND ENJOY LIFE THE GOOD OLD-FASHION WAY. THERE IS NOTHING LIKE LOVE…IT IS THE MOST AMAZING ABSTRACT AND THE ULTIMATE DEFINITION OF GOD. EMBRACE IT!!! DISCOVER ITS POWER!!! AND SEE HOW REAL IT IS EVERY TIME THE INTERNET HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT!!! Stop posting or tweeting your every moment when you are out on dates/dining…enjoy your date/delicious meal and experience your moment(s) the right way! Leave your mobile device in the car or turn it OFF!!! #TeamWarned @clubnavee:twitter 

    • Stephan Labossiere
      Posted at 14:36h, 12 August Reply

      That was an excellent comment and I agree with you. Very well said, and I really enjoyed your closing message to everybody. I truly appreciate your input.

    • Joelle Paule
      Posted at 18:02h, 28 August Reply

      Let the church people say AMEN. GREAT POST.

    • Jay Bee
      Posted at 07:36h, 08 October Reply

      that was an AWESOME response to Stephan, Social Networks are the devil and they do expose flaws in the relationship, and honestly, they do CREATE a problem that wasn’t there before and I am talking from my own experience. Im on one an my sig. other isn’t so he is super paranoid and thinks every dude, ppl who are just friends, is someone im trying to talk to. But I only use it as a social outlet because in our relationship we rarely do anything outside of each other because it causes so much jealousy and issues. Unhealthy I know but thats the situation we’ve created over 8 yrs.

    • Mosesjustmoses
      Posted at 11:27h, 10 October Reply

       Very well put #SALUTE

    • Ms Sadly
      Posted at 15:51h, 20 November Reply

      Love this! Lets call for the old paths cause they were good days! Whats wrong with being old fashioned? They are the ones who have the best and longest relationships!

    • Tumeka Allen
      Posted at 15:19h, 12 January Reply

      The closing statement was beautifully put!! That is another thing, that I despise, about the man I am currently dealing with, he is on twitter, facebook, instagram, and all these freakin pages, all of the time!! It is very irritating, and his answer to my questions, is “it is just entertainment”  I just totally hate it!! You can not get to know someone, if you have online followers?  I just don’t get it!! I believe in love, and just believe that intimacy can be beautiful, when the focus is on the relationship, and not the internet.

    • Jessica
      Posted at 14:16h, 02 May Reply

      Very well said! Truly appreciate your input.

    • tia robinson
      Posted at 00:35h, 21 July Reply

      Excellent! Well written and absolutely true….bravo

  • Onenewslady34
    Posted at 21:22h, 13 August Reply

    I agree with you wholeheartedly!! Social networks don’t ruin relationships; people do. The fact people say a social network is the cause of their relationship’s demise are just masking the fact their relationships are weak and pitiful.
    People who post their business all on Facebook and Twitter are looking for attention that comes from the “likes”, “comments” and “retweets.” The drama that comes from all of that is what destroys the relationship. Keep your business of the social networks. When you’re using social networks, don’t do something you don’t want your spouse to see. How would your significant other react if he/she cracked your password and looked through  your direct messages or inbox? People should keep that in mind when they blame social networks on the fall of their relationships.

  • Hollydaniel93
    Posted at 01:37h, 20 August Reply

    I definitely agree that facebook and other social networks ruin relationships because it happened to me a few times. I have realized that there is to much drama on these websites “well she did this and he did that.” so much immaturity it was unbelievable. After I got out of the hospital I deleted my facebook I decided that I was just done with it and I put my heath first for one but two although maybe I was drugged a little I still was intelligent enough to realize that there is just to much stupidity on these sights. I was sick of worrying who my bf was taking to or what my back stabbing exbestfriend was doing it drove me nuts for years. honestly since I’ve deleted the accounts I see it was truely a smart move because now I don’t stress about it anymore and now theres no temptations to log back on and reactivate these accounts I’m 19 and I’m probably one of the only few teenagers to not have a facebook but I have gotten a clear look and an actual experience as to what it does to relationships and friends. don’t get me wrong its good to look up and find lost family or high school friends or old college roommates because my own mother likes it. but I feel like facebook should have an age limit because the generation that uses it currently has the maturity of a 5 year old and its sad. facebook, twitter, myspace and etc. have basically become the maury show online … half the time its better than cable thats how bad the drama can escalade.

    • Stephan Labossiere
      Posted at 13:23h, 20 August Reply

      lmao “The Maury Show Online” this is so true. As you pointed out, it is the maturity of the user that turns what could be a great tool into a whole pile of mess and drama. I find many people who feel the need to walk away or deactivate their account because on the nonsense. Just know that as long as you or the person you are with is taking the right approach, then it never has to be a source of negativity than it can tend to be.

  • NeomiOlivia88
    Posted at 08:02h, 24 August Reply

    How can I share this on Facebook?

    • Stephan Labossiere
      Posted at 14:26h, 24 August Reply

      Just click the facebook “like” button below the article and that should automatically post it to your page. If that doesn’t work, just copy and past the url into your facebook status.

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    Posted at 19:36h, 26 August Reply

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  • jimbase
    Posted at 20:35h, 01 September Reply

    It isn’t Facebook, it’s the people using it.

  • Elorrainec
    Posted at 23:56h, 01 September Reply

    One thing I can say for me personally I had to delete my Facebook because it was too much information I didn’t want or need to see. Also I was a distraction big time. Now that I got rid of it my house is clean my dogs are groomed my cars are clean and I spend more time with my husband over all my life is better. Also i have been visiting friends in person instead of looking at their FB page. Finally it’s better not to be in Denial. What ever you spend your time and energy on is what is important to you. fB was not important to me anymore I still have a twitter but I admit I have I discipline myself on how much time I spend on it follow me @advocateeve

    • Thumeka
      Posted at 15:30h, 13 September Reply

      Exactly I like what you are saying Elorranic we should be wise in our relationship there’s nothing wrong with the network

  • Mary
    Posted at 12:59h, 12 September Reply

    I think you have a point.  You see all sorts of pictures of naked men and woman.  Some people react to it and contact the person in the pic, and from there it all starts!!  It all starts with fluting which you may not have done otherwise.  

  • XFactor
    Posted at 15:20h, 04 October Reply

    Well said. We control our actions and behaviors online. Now there are people without social media still using the old school methods of cheating too.

  • brianna taylor
    Posted at 14:53h, 08 October Reply

    We control what we put on these social networks. Everyone does not have to know that your relationship is on the rocks. You din’t have to flirt with that guy you think is cute even though you’re in a relationship. The Facebook and Twitter execs are not putting a gun to your head saying, “Tell the world about how your man didn’t call you last night and went out with his boys and now you’re hurt.” Save that stuff for your close friends if you really just feel the need to tell someone or keep a diary if you just need to express your frustration. Social networking sites are not diaries!

  • Cindilouhu
    Posted at 13:21h, 18 October Reply

    Solid realtionship withstand anything.  Be kind to your man.He knows what he has when you are.  So those on the social media r purely fantasy.

  • Figgs
    Posted at 02:58h, 27 March Reply

    Well said. Maybe I really just want to flirt, but doing online provides a venue to get caught. Or maybe I am just trying to be sociable, but it is misinterpreted as flirting. She’ll be the judge.

  • Camp77
    Posted at 16:05h, 17 April Reply

    I had a friend who was in a friendship of some sorts with a women and his boy posted that this particular female was more than his friend and when he found out about what was posted he shut his facebook page down! What is that all about!

    • Stephan Labossiere
      Posted at 14:11h, 18 April Reply

      I can only speculate but sounds like he is trying to hide something.

  • Smitty
    Posted at 07:11h, 22 May Reply

    I had a problem in my relationship that involved social media. My (now ex) husband and I were having a small (or so I thought) disagreement and he went on Facebook and told the world all of our business! When I spoke to him about it his solution was to block me from his Facebook so that I couldn’t comment about what he wrote. He forgot to block my best friend and she called me about some things he had posted. He blamed the problem on Facebook, I blamed the problem on his lack of boundaries.

  • Shanda Twine
    Posted at 01:49h, 12 March Reply

    IDC what this article says. All social networking sites destroy relationships. People hide their friend list, people block you for no legitimate reason & yes I think it's safe to say that I hate what technology has done. And will continue to do.

  • Andrew M.
    Posted at 04:24h, 02 September Reply

    I too agree with this article. This new tool allows people to connect with so many others of the sex they are attracted to and a simple conversation can lead to a hook up. It feels very gratifying to have so many men or women liking your pictures and commenting on how beautiful/handsome you are. If one is slightly dissatisfied with their relationship they can find someone else who they think might be able to satisfy their desires in an instant. People in my generation are so ennamered by the amount of people they can get to follow them or like their pictures yet they dont actually know 100 of the people that follow them out of the thousands they have. In fact, many of the kids in my generation consider it to be “old fashioned” to walk to up to a person and say “Hey my name is ___” and actually get to know the person. Personally, many of the women I tried talking to thought it was odd that I did that and thought I was odd because I didnt have social media. It’s quite sad actually

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