giving heart in hand

Give What You Expect To Receive

There seems to be an epidemic of people who are just plain selfish. Me, me, me is all they care about. They believe the world revolves around them, and everybody else is just a side note. They could care less about what is best for you unless it fits into what they “think” is best for them. Some have this issue on an extreme level and some to a much lesser degree. One way or another it is having much more of a negative impact on life than they care to realize.

It isn’t good to operate this way when you are single but it is absolutely unacceptable to bring this mentality into a relationship. People are running around focused on finding the person who can give them what they want. Their perception on what the relationship should be is all messed up yet they blame “love”, “relationships”, and “marriage” for their pains and disappointments. They are not willing to look at themselves because it is always everything else and everybody else’s fault as to why they didn’t get what they wanted and hoped for.

How can you as a man complain that your woman isn’t sexually satisfying you when you have not taken the time to make sure you are truly sexually satisfying her? How can you as a woman complain about a man’s lack of honesty and openness with you when you have spoken lies and held back in the name of “protecting yourself”? How can we as a people expect anyone to fulfill our needs and desires if we are incapable or unwilling to fulfill theirs? The answer is we shouldn’t expect it. If you are not going to provide what you are looking for in a partner then don’t be surprised when you don’t get it. I know some of you are thinking “well I am open with him sometimes” or “I have sexually satisfied her at times” (let’s just hope she wasn’t faking it). Ok cool, well think about this. Has he not been open with you “sometimes”? Has she not sexually satisfied you “sometimes”? Guess what, they sure have, yet you still find time to complain because you feel it isn’t enough. Which you are right, it probably isn’t but unless you are putting in the same kind of effort then you need to sit down and think about how you have been handling this. Continuing to be consumed about getting what you want will only guarantee that you won’t get it. Yeah it may come from time to time. It may even keep flowing in for a good amount of time, but it will eventually become an issue. Because if you are so focused on getting what you want, then you are not as focused as you should be on giving what they need. It will catch up to you, and that person who has been doing the giving will either walk away or no longer give like they should. Regardless of their choice your relationship will now be on its way to failure.

Once in a relationship your focus should not be on you, it should be on them. If both parties took that approach then both would get what they need and desire. Being selfish has no place in a relationship that you wish to be successful. We all have to go in with the mentality that if we give then we will receive. Before any of you say, “well I gave plenty and received nothing in return” let me make something clear. Giving was not your issue; it was “who” you chose to give to that was the problem. Always focus on doing your job and if your partner refuses to step up then you need to just walk away. Staying in a relationship that you are not prepared to do what is right is simply pointless. You only ensure that things will continue to move in the wrong direction and that you and your partner will not be as happy as you both deserve to be. Relationships are not 50/50 they are 100/100. You have to give it your all if you expect for your partner to do the same.  So if your relationship or past relationships haven’t been reaching its full potential then take a moment to ask yourself: Have I Been Giving What I Want to Receive?