woman doing online dating handed flowers

Online Dating: The Good & The Bad

There used to be a time where if you wanted a date, you had to go out and find one. Finding a suitable mate meant putting yourself out there and actually walking out of your house. Of course there are exceptions such as being hooked up by friends and family usually with someone who their punk asses wouldn’t date themselves : ). Other than that, it was on you. Well now we live in an age where convenience is king. Everything is being made easier and more accessible which includes finding a potential partner. So with this new wave of convenience comes online dating. Many women as well as men are facing the decision of taking this new approach in searching for companionship. Women though seem to have much more concerns and are a bit more hesitant with this process. I have been asked many times what my thoughts are on it and with that here is my view on the good and bad of online dating.

The Good:  Well as already stated it is extremely convenient. You eliminate all the extra time and money that you may have to spend otherwise in attempting to put yourself in a position to be noticed and found by a potential mate. I’m not saying there aren’t free non-online ways to go about this, but for most it does cut some extra cost. Not to mention that these sites do a lot of screening for you. It filters out the people you don’t really want to have to entertain and if one slips through the cracks it is a much easier rejection process. The idea that these people could be crazy; well these are the same people you may meet at your job, school, church, club, etc. A lot of people go online in today’s world; it isn’t just a place for nut jobs and weirdo’s.

The Bad: If you are a man, there isn’t much bad I can point to from online dating. Aside from the occasional woman who may give some false representation of her actual looks and qualities, there isn’t much else to complain about. If you are a woman, online dating can easily turn into a nightmare if you come in with the wrong expectation. Listen clearly; the men on these sites are no different from the men you meet anywhere else. With that said, the majority may only want to get that ass. Seriously, just because it is a respected dating site does not mean there aren’t men that are simply there to find action. Some may be there genuinely, but if after a date or two he realizes you aren’t the one, well then getting that ass becomes his consolation prize. So understand that no matter how much screening and filtering the site does for you, you as a woman still needs to have your own process of determining how serious this guy is and if you both are on the same page with the relationship. Other than that, women also have watch out for the false representation, but I don’t think that issue happens as much as it used to…I think.

Overall I think online dating is a great option. It really helps make the process easier but you still must take personal responsibility on evaluating your potential partner. You can find many success stories and these couples can attest to how well going online worked for them. There are many good sites to choose from so do your research and go with what works for you. I do not think you should lock yourself in your house and put all your hope on just this one option, but I definitely think it should be included in your list of options when trying to find a partner. Don’t limit yourself when it comes to finding love because you never know how it will come and with who it will be with.

  • Interesting post 

    • Anonymous

      thank you

  • Carmelcup

    I don’t think online dating is from me, I’ve heard too many horror stories.

  • Carmelcup

    I don’t think online dating is from me, I’ve heard too many horror stories.

    • Anonymous

      I can understand that, but there are also many success stories

  • very good article Stephan. takes alot of fear out of online dating!

    • RelationshipExpert

      thanks Karmah : ). glad you enjoyed it, and glad it has helped remove some of the fears.

  • Mochadlyte

    Online dating is what you make it….. I used to feel like I can’t get a man in reality so I have to resort to the Internet? Now I go into things with an open mind and don’t settle until I get what I want!!!!!

    • RelationshipExpert

      Exactly Mochadlyte : ) an open mind can open the doors to so much more.

  • Tthall67

    Is there a site out there that’s better than others?

    • niks

      Yupp!!! Have you heard of freakin-out?? Its pretty kool and best me and my overseas friend can video chat almost whole night 🙂 😛

  • Addrain

    Online dating scares me. I have had terrible ‘luck’ with them. But I’ve heard great stories that ended in marriage. Eharmony I hear is one of the better ones.

    • Happynow….

      I met my soulmate on match, I guess i was lucky as he was the first – and only internet date I had! 3 years later happily married…  Now we DID email for 4 months before we met so I felt like I new him, but I have never bee happier (I am in my 40’s)   Good luck 🙂

  • Samantha

    See you tweet post on twitter all the time and actually decided to read one… I’m glad I did. You article was very articulate, professional, and well put together. Very interesting.. Glad I know about your site now as I will be visiting more often!

  • Steve

    I’ve tried online dating a lot as I’m not really a bar person. I met my 2nd wife on Match. Unfortunately it did not work out, so I’m trying again. It’s very, very frustrating that a lot of women just don’t represent themselves accurately on their profile. More than 6 times I’ve met a woman for a first date, only to find out she is 40 lbs heavier than her photo. Even after I asked if her photo was recent. Others like to play the back & forth email game, which I just don’t have time for. I understand the hesitancy to give a phone number out in order to get acquainted, but gheez, just dial *67 in front of my number the first time you call so my caller ID does not register. There are definitely online female players also. I understand that men can misrepresent themselves in their profile also, but my experience has shown that women do it much more.

    • Caramel Spice

      How would you know when you are a man dating women. All of the men I’ve met in person from online look different or are taller or shorter than described. Or use a super old picture. I try to use the most current pictures, so no surprises. Men are so obsessed w weight. You can lose weight, but you can’t lose ugly.

  • wellingtonsmom

    I did the online dating thing and found it very disappointing. For the most part the men were to preoccupied with my looks, I am a 44yr old single mom, I am very active and work out 3-4x’s a week I veggie juice daily and try to maintain my overall appearance. I found that 90% of the men I met lied abt appearance, weight and height and everything else, so I cancelled my subscription.

  • Tracy

    I had a very positive experience with online dating. I met someone online 9 months ago and things are going very well. We talked on the phone for 3 weeks prior to our first meeting. We have been together ever since and we are now talking about getting engaged. The process does work, but as stated in the article, you need to develop a process to determine who is serious and who is not.
    I will say even if I did not find my Mr. Right, the process of creating an online profile and going through the dating/elimination process was a rewarding experience that helped me define the type of person I want to pursue a long-term relationship with.